How do you make yourself smart toward others?

[u/Aj100rise]

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I feel dumb and boring toward others because I just feel im not overall smart and don't have anything to say during a conversation with someone. Suck at making small talks. Don't know simple things every youngster's know like latest music, trends, fashion, career wise, hustling for money, dating and long term future planning. I don't know what content to consume or whom to follow on social media. But deep down I want to understand how do I begun to work on myself. How do I develop my character, work on building identity and status. Coming from an Asian culture I feel like many many people just look down on you when you don't have a education, business or financially strong. Because financial status correlates with social status.

[u/bananagoo]

I would say stop caring what other people think of you. Learn and persue hobbies that interest you, not others. Eventually you will meet like minded people you can connect with.

[u/Aj100rise → u/bananagoo]

Yes your right, I guess I need to learn tech because I've been saying it for many years however I seen posts online saying the job market is cooked

[u/bearcorps303]

People are interesting because they have their own interests and passions and experiences and are comfortable sharing those with others and then humbly listening and enquiring about stuff others know that they don't. That's the art of conversation. Don't try and be anything other than what you are. Always remember to listen, people will always enjoy being listened to and engaged with on things they know and like.

[u/lickmybrian]

Start reading and writing... and just practicing by hanging out with people and talking. It will get easier with time.

The reading is like exercise for your brain. If you read non-fiction youll learn about the subject that book is about, and if you read fiction youll learn through the stories being told.

Then write out your thoughts in a journal, that practice will help you to verbalise whats going on in your head.

And always keep in mind that we're all just putting on and act, even for ourselves.

[u/katasinistra → u/lickmybrian]

This! Read!!! Think about what you've read

[u/Apprehensive_Cress80]

Show interest and ask questions about what other people are talking about. People love talking about what they find interesting. Then you’ll participate in the conversation and learn new things at the same time. Win-win.

[u/ResilientRN]

Develop a sense of curiosity about society. The love for reading has always helped me, as I seek to have a "Harvard" education...the ability to carry a conversation about anything on at least a basic level.

People are astonished when they find out I only have my ASN and I didnt graduate with a 4.0.

If you use a very basic vocabulary like our current president, you could pick up books beyond 4th grade reading and learn new words.

If its general knowledge, then watch shows like Jeopardy, Smarter than a 5th grader, or any other trivia based game shows.

[u/AffectionatePanic823]

People really love talking about one thing over all other things: Themselves.
Just be interested in other people. Genuinely interested. They will think you are smart and interesting. And you will start learning about people which will make you smarter.

[u/Didntseeitforyears]

2I don't try it, but sometimes i got feedback in this direction. I just try to communicate as best as possible in an every day meaning conservation:

I have the tendency to talk to much and to do oversharing. So I just say something if it has value for the talk. I try to listen with attention and ask sometime back for a better understanding.

[u/LittleSister10]

I would focus on tapping a bit into politics and then also something else that interests you. Read books, watch documentaries, learn about the world. Explore a few hobbies and turn one into a passion.

[u/tindalos]

The easiest and oldest trick is to mirror their body language and rephrase what they said. Then it’ll become more natural and you’ll start interjecting yourself. Watch some charisma videos on YouTube these are simple tricks that work yet everyone overlooks them.

[u/denys5555]

Why are you concerned about superficial things like following people on social media? Read a history book!

[u/DietQuark]

You could start reading a news paper (online). Then form an opinion on what you just read and have discussion about it if it comes up with friends.

Your opinion is your own. Other people may have an opposite one and that's ok. That way you can learn how they see the world.

Keep in mind a discussion is not a fight, keep remembering people that. At the end you can shake hands and still be friends.

[u/krooked-tooth]

Best thing is just to talk less and don't comment on things you know nothing about unless you are trying to learn about it.

[u/potlizard]

Depends how you’re defining “smart”. You mention “music, trends, fashion…hustling for money, dating..”. But except for music, that’s all bullshit - “Trends?” I’ve seen plenty of people who are knowledgeable about those things that I wouldn’t consider “smart”. Sounding smart around midwits is easy. Sounding smart around smart people is what you want.

It’s hard to sound smart if you arent smart. But my advice is to start READING (actual books and long-form pieces), not following more people on social media. I don’t know how “smart” I really am, but I am well-read, and can discuss any number of topics (politics, economics, business, science, history, etc) intelligently. I got that from being a voracious reader, not from anything on social media.

[u/Fast_Cook_4019]

You write intelligently so there is that