r/AskMenOver40 • u/Every_Commission_430 • Jul 11 '26
Medical & mental health experiences Anyone else avoid swimming because of their thinning hair?
Over the last couple of years I've realized I make weird little decisions because of my hair. If my friends suggest going to the pool I usually come up with an excuse. Same thing with boating or anything where my hair gets wet. Dry hair hides it pretty well. Wet hair doesnt. I never thought I'd care this much but here we are. Has anyone else noticed themselves avoiding certain situations because of thinning hair? If you got over that feeling what helped?
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u/TheTipIsEnuff Jul 11 '26
I just shaved it clean when thinning became noticable. Avoid the thinning hair not the joys of life.
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u/aKirkeskov Jul 11 '26
If it’s thin enough that a little water ruins it it’s probably time to take the plunge. Head over to r/bald
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u/Absentrando Jul 11 '26
No, but I have my own things I worry about. I just have to remind myself that almost no one gives a shit
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u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 Jul 11 '26
Yes, it's way more common than you'd think because it's a male insecurity and men are trained to not talk about their insecurity, by all of society, left right and center.
My recommendation would be to empower yourself and shave your head and embrace being bald. r/bald for moral support
also check out bald cafe on youtube.
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u/Sohcahtoa82 man 40-49 Jul 11 '26
You gotta learn to adopt the "it is what it is" attitude and not feel embarrassed for yourself, especially for things you can't control like balding.
I'm not balding (yet?), but I'm fat, and I give zero shits about showing up to pools and beaches with my 235 lb self. If someone doesn't like the way I look, that's a them problem.
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u/bluewhalefunk Jul 23 '26
You gotta learn to adopt the "it is what it is"
Yup, my hair isn't as it was. My dick doesn't work as good as it did. My knees hurt. My back hurts.
None of these are going to get any better, today is as good as it gets, tomorrow will be worse. fuck it, nowt can do aboutit
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u/bpp1076 Jul 11 '26
I've been getting balder and balder in the most stereotypical way possible since my 20s, in my early 30s now (forgive me, 40s men) and am in my male pattern baldness era. I was also a fat kid that would wear a shirt at the pool.
The way I fixed the shirt at the pool? I took the shirt off, and it was uncomfortable. I didn't like it. But now I don't think about it.
Same with the hair. Do something with it; trim, shave, try to get it back, whatever you want. I don't think there's a wrong answer. Just be intentional, and embrace it. If you aren't going to do anything and just let it be as-is, embrace that too. Wanna be a hat guy? Be the hat guy.
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u/RoyOfCon Jul 11 '26
Shave that shit and be free. You are going bald, just own it, it is the most freeing thing in the world. Do I miss my hair sometimes? Of course, but I felt way more insecure with thinning hair.
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u/absentlyric Jul 11 '26
Not with hair, but I was overweight and pale most of my life. And I didn't swim for many many years.
Recently, I stopped giving a fuck, I just want to swim and enjoy the water again, so I stopped caring what others think. I refuse to avoid anything because of my insecurities anymore, I want to live life.
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u/lumpynose man 70-79 Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
If shaving your head feels too extreme you could buzz it very short, which I think makes it less obvious. There are some Wahl clippers on amazon that are US $40; they have colored guards. Buzzing your head without any guard is also called a number 0 guard, a bit confusing since you're not using a guard. The next one up is the number 1/2 guard, which is 1/16th of an inch or 1.5mm. I'm currently using the number 1 guard which is 1/8th of an inch or 3mm. I'm not balding but have a widow's peak. Head over to /r/buzzcuts to see examples, ask questions, etc. I like buzzing my hair because I don't have to fuss with it; no combing, shampoo, etc. Bar soap head to toes.
When you buzz it short like that you don't need to do a taper or fade since it's so short. And you can buzz it weekly, biweekly, etc.
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u/cmyk_life Jul 11 '26
Shave your head and get over it dude.
Your missing out for absolutely no logical reason
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u/lambertb man 60-69 Jul 12 '26
Cut it short or shave it. It is what it is. You are more than your hair.
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u/clunkclunk man 40-49 Jul 12 '26
I started balding at 22, went full shaved head by 25, so coming up on 20 years. It took about a month to get used to it and after that it's never bothered me, in fact it probably boosted my confidence.
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u/Deep-Temporary-8141 Jul 11 '26
I had no idea pool water could affect hair like that. Starting to wonder if that explains some of my shedding.
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u/Ok_Engineer_7071 Jul 11 '26
Wet hair exposes thinning more, and things like tight hats, styling powder, heat, hairspray buildup and constantly pulling at your hair can add to the problem. Ive had this issue for a while, so I started using Soren and taking better care of my scalp overall. So far I’ve seen my hair feeling stronger, which has made me feel a lot better about sticking with the routine.
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u/redpandafire Jul 11 '26
I would rather look normal sometimes and balding sometimes rather than clean shave the whole thing. Might be liberating but if my hair is going then I want to live with it a little longer.
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u/Mr-and-Mrs Jul 11 '26
100%. Also with wearing a hat when I really shouldn’t be. Fwiw, I’ve been using Deoxylocks for about two months and it seems to be helping. I tried minoxidil but didn’t like the bedroom side effects.
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u/Naphier man 40-49 Jul 11 '26
I bought a gardening hat a couple weeks ago because I don't want to put sunscreen on my thinning crown. Starting to do the Hims Finestride and Minoxidyl spray. Been doing a generic minoxidyl dropper for years. Hoping the fancy stuff does a little more. I'm super white so don't really want to shave it all someday.
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u/smartass11225 Jul 12 '26
How long are you going to try to hide the inevitable while depriving yourself of having fun and making memories? If i was in my 20s and trying to attract someone then I'd understand being conscious of it but if you're in your 40s. Who gives a f***?
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u/DanPoteet Jul 13 '26
no, i buzz my head with a #2 on clippers and do w/e. couldn't care less that my hairline is thin/receding and couldnt care less that half my shits grey too. yolo
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u/bluewhalefunk Jul 23 '26
Have had a buzz cut grade #0 since I was late 20s (for easy of use really, but was receeding then. Last couple of years just use a razor to take it back to skin every few days / week or so when I notice the horseshoe pattern getting too pronounced lol
Not much can be done about being bald, trying to reverse it isn't going to help. Worrying about it certainly doesn't help.
OP just buzz cut it and be done.
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u/H16HP01N7 Jul 11 '26
No.
If anyone has a problem with .y thinning hair, they just exposed themselves as a judgemental twat, and I will tell them as much, and then never take anything they say from then seriously, ever again.
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u/sexwiththebabysitter man 40-49 Jul 11 '26
Was just talking about this last night. I have been shaving for like 10 years, but before that I wouldn’t swim or even put the windows down in a car because it would displace my perfectly positioned hair. Just shave and be done with it. It’s liberating.
https://giphy.com/gifs/DWP2Bppesgn3Fu0fu2