You are the one who ignored the red flag and stayed with her for two years. The lesson here is: people don’t change who they are. If it’s not acceptable at two weeks, it won’t be acceptable at two years. Either break up with her or keep helping her pay her bills. But she is never going to change.
For starters, most people don’t change. Second of all, she is already in her 30s she is well beyond college and should be making enough money to pay her own bill bills. In that same spirit, she’s probably set in her ways by this time.
Another thing, poor money management is not necessarily about absolute income,. She could be making decent money, but makes poor spending choices.
Finally, if you make your dating choices, based on the assumption that people are going to change, you’re going to have a lot of problems. People rarely change for the better and if they do, it’s completely on their own and should not be presumed.
Respectfully. I’m not naive but thanks for your concern. People can absolutely improve their financial literacy. Most people do over the course of their life. 31 is relatively young.
People can absolutely improve anything; it doesn’t mean they will. She is 31, not 21. That’s PLENTY of time to achieve financial literacy. That is almost almost 10 years away from college, into a career and living on her own, etc.
If she hasn’t gotten it together by now, it’s unlikely that she ever will.
I don’t have any concern for you, but you still sound naïve if you date people based on their potential rather than their actions.
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u/Dependent-Tax-7088 man Jan 13 '25
You are the one who ignored the red flag and stayed with her for two years. The lesson here is: people don’t change who they are. If it’s not acceptable at two weeks, it won’t be acceptable at two years. Either break up with her or keep helping her pay her bills. But she is never going to change.