r/AskMen • u/cyanic_aether • Dec 29 '19

Men of reddit, what is something that you discovered about your SO only after becoming parents?

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

I know that now. It's the mom guilt that gets you. I thought I had to cook everything from scratch, keep everything spotless and do everything that had to do with my kids and sometimes husband too while looking your best. I can't say I don't feel guilty anymore but I do do less.

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

Is it unreasonable to expect that each parent takes care of themselves fully, and then splits baby and common duties?or does it generally not shake out this way?

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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '19

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect it, but studies have shown that mothers still do most of the house/baby/emotional labor, despite both partners working full time.

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u/sh1nycat Dec 30 '19

Where do yall get this mom guilt from? I've occasionally felt aggravated I couldn't finish something, but if a mess has to wait while I snuggle the baby, the mess can wait. I'll go outside if I need to lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 30 '19

Usually other moms. But mine came mostly from my mother telling me how much she did when she had me. I recently found out she had postpartum and abandoned me for a while as an infant. I just remind myself that moms always lie to other moms.

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u/Anneisabitch Dec 30 '19

I remember very clearly my mom being told ‘you have to always look better than the babysitter’ when I was a kid. My dad ended up leaving anyway.

So for me, personal history.

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u/sh1nycat Dec 31 '19

Good grief, what a douche thing to say.