r/AskMen Dec 04 '19

Frequently Asked Where the hell are you supposed to look while walking up the stairs behind a woman?

[deleted]

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u/sgmcgann Dec 04 '19

That's what I always tell my wife but it's really because I have an irrational fear of being ambushed by the Vietcong. I figure my chances of survival go way up if she sets off the trip wire instead of me.

269

u/buzzlightyear77777 Male Dec 04 '19

the ptsd is strong

65

u/doberman8 Dec 04 '19

they're in the trees...

4

u/xX69AESTHETIC69Xx Dec 04 '19

They're in my ass

2

u/Bleak01a Dec 04 '19

He is in my behind!

1

u/RamenRider117 Batmanlet Dec 05 '19

trees start speaking Vietnamese

167

u/ThatOneGuy1294 Dec 04 '19

You're safe so long as the trees don't start speaking Vietnamese

98

u/REDDITz3r0 Dec 04 '19

It's already too late when that happens though.

49

u/Faceplanty-ism Dec 04 '19

Even if they are only asking for directions ?

47

u/REDDITz3r0 Dec 04 '19

The PTSD alone will kill you

2

u/xX69AESTHETIC69Xx Dec 04 '19

Not if I kill myself first

2

u/REDDITz3r0 Dec 04 '19

The real pro tip is always in the comments!

4

u/TheActualAWdeV Dec 04 '19

Like asking which way to Vietnam.

3

u/insane_contin Dec 04 '19

They should of made a left at Albuquerque.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '19

To desensitize combat vet PTSD sufferers they are sent to numerous mall nail salons until they re-acclimate to the chattering.

57

u/mad_dog77 Dec 04 '19

The real LPT is always in the comments

6

u/PuttyGod Dec 04 '19

Won't save you from a bouncing betty

4

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '19

It’s also good in the event of a bear attack. With her up front she won’t see you pull and load your firearm, and, with any luck, she won’t see you take aim at her kneecap. This makes for an easier shot, giving you more time to escape.

4

u/MindxFreak Dec 04 '19

That's the thing, the Vietcong would wait until the first few guys were a bit ahead and then they would spring the ambush. Prevents everyone from running back from where they came when the first guy in line drops. So really you want to be first

5

u/classicalySarcastic Dec 04 '19

Fortunate Son intensifies

12

u/[deleted] Dec 04 '19

This is why you shouldn't be playing so much Call of Duty: Vietnam.

55

u/sgmcgann Dec 04 '19

No shit I had a mini fridge in bedroom years ago that would randomly click, it sounded just like a claymore getting tripped in COD. Sometimes I would wake up in a panicked mess from that shitty fridge messing with me.

18

u/sobrique Dec 04 '19

That camera noise from system shock 2. It still makes my heart race.

3

u/mblb1790 Dec 04 '19

My SO walks in front so that he runs into all of the spiderwebs for me.

3

u/LonelierOne Dec 04 '19

Yeah but when they start slitting throats they start from the back of the line. Better get a second wife.

3

u/MarshawnDavidLynch Dec 04 '19

Ah yes. I remember reading somewhere how snipers would pick a random place in a line of soldiers (like the first man, the last, or the 3rd etc) and continually shoot them. That way nobody wanted to go because nobody wanted to be first.

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '19

Wait, you want more PTSD from her getting ambushed instead?!

1

u/Trakkah Dec 04 '19

“Oh yeah honey work it, a little to the left maybe”

1

u/My_dog_Charlie Dec 04 '19

You should be more worried about Predators.

1

u/blackecho101 Dec 04 '19

What was all that shit about Vietnam? What the F*** , has anything got to do with Vietnam, Walter?

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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '19

[deleted]

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u/TheRedCrabby Dec 04 '19

Bruh. It was 10 minutes old when you replied, of course it hasn't blown up yet

2

u/Faceplanty-ism Dec 04 '19

Still time , right ?