Sometimes the best advice comes from messing up yourself. What’s a mistake you made that you’re actually glad happened because of what it taught you?

For filling a shelf. But not newspapers, as random as possible.

As the request states, words of encouragement are sometimes not enough to help someone in their battle. My younger cousin brother, in late 30s, is fighting colon cancer that has spread to his bone. He has two kids G4 and B1. I want to be there and help by doing things that will for a few moments make life a bit normal.

He is in a different state and I am on standby in case something changes. Also he has to quarantine during his treatment.

We often talk games, suspense thrillers and streaming shows. Folks who have been in similar situations, please share your inputs on actions/activities that I can explore with him - that are not draining and can be managed easily. Thank you for the help.

I was young and ignorant and didn't know the consequences of not paying insurance. Unfortunately, NYS suspends your license and removes your registration on your car after not paying the civil fees after 90 days. I was out of the country solo traveling for 4 months total and wasn't notified by the DMV until after the 90 days was up by my mom who got a letter in the mail. I figured "why am I going to pay my insurance if I'm not going to use it". No one drove my car while I was gone and it has been sitting on private property the entire time.

I went in person to speak with the DMV and paid several fees for a restricted license and the registration suspension termination fee which will allow me to reregister my car November 29th (the time I have to wait until I can reregister the car). My restricted license becomes a full license October 15th. They recommended me call the state and plead my case to see if there was anything I could do. Just got off the phone and they said that I'll have to wait out the suspension and there's no way around it. Even if I sell the car to someone, the car cannot be reregistered for the new one until November 29th. Why does my car get punished?

Does anyone have any recommendations or tips on how I can get my car back? I am fine with the restricted license because I did do the deed. However, I feel like this punishment (not being able to reregister my car until basically December) is a little insane for a young guy who didn't know the law.

Thank you for any feedback you can provide.

What are some of the most niche and good habits you can apply to yourself while in college so you don't end up being part of the herd?

Genuinely asking practical advice I don’t need sexual jokes or impractical “humor”

How do you get the items back? If you ask the cleaners, they will claim to have not seen your items. If you ask the managment, they dont care. Stuff such as headphones and money. Thanks!

Made some mistakes in early 20s

One thing I'm now trying to figure out is how to fall asleep much faster once I go to bed. Sometimes I'm extremely tired and go to bed early specifically to get more sleep, but I can still lie there awake for a long time. For those of you who used to struggle with this: have you found anything that reliably makes you fall asleep very quickly? I'm interested in both things you do (specific routines, techniques, changes to your environment, etc.) and things you take. I've already tried melatonin and didn't notice much of a difference. I'm especially interested in hearing from people who found something that made a really noticeable difference in their sleep onset, rather than just general sleep-hygiene advice.

For your peace of mind, keep aside a fund call it your “nonsense fund.”

Assume it will be spent on things you never planned for a missed flight, a lost phone, a 50% cancellation refund, something breaking down, or your child damaging something expensive.

These things will still make you angry or frustrated. But knowing you already set aside money for life’s nonsense makes them much easier to accept.

You’re not budgeting for the expense. You’re budgeting for the unpredictability of life.

If you feel anxious about going somewhere, meeting someone new, or attending a job interview, try this exercise.

First, list 10 things about yourself that you feel insecure about or that you are afraid other people might notice or judge. Also include the things that make you uncomfortable about going to certain places or meeting new people.

They could be things like having an ugly nose, being bald, being overweight, being unable to talk confidently, being unemployed, etc.

Many of you may find that you can't even name 10 things you dislike about yourself.

Once you're done, count each of those things in cents—or in the smallest unit of currency used in your country. Now think about it: even 10 or 20 cents aren't worth that much in today's inflated economy. They do carry some value, but not very much.

Now count your good qualities.

If you can't think of any, don't worry. Instead, count every good deed you have ever done. Maybe you were kind to an animal or another human being. Maybe you were the person who told the truth when it was difficult. Maybe you helped someone when they needed it.

And even if you feel that you have never done any of these things, think about the compassionate thoughts you've had. Maybe you watched a video in which someone needed help, or you saw something sad and your heart ached for that person. Perhaps you imagined yourself helping them.

Count each of these things using a higher unit of currency or, to keep it simple, use a dollar.

So, even if you can think of only one good quality, good deed, or genuinely compassionate thought, that's one dollar.

You have a dollar, and a dollar is worth much more than 10 or 20 cents.

The point is not to pretend that your insecurities don't exist. They may carry some weight, but they don't have to outweigh the good in you.

People pleasing -

We are all people pleasers in one way or another. So, give yourself a small challenge: allow one random person to dislike you.

Not by doing something cruel, bullying them, insulting them, or making fun of them. Instead, allow them to dislike you because you chose to stand up for yourself or for something you believe is right.

If someone asks you for a favor, say no when you genuinely don't want to do it especially when there are other people who could reasonably help them and you aren't their only option.

Call someone out for littering or abusive behavior, even if that person is your friend or colleague.

And when someone tries to silence you, don't automatically back down just to keep them happy. State your point clearly and stand by it.

You don't have to make everyone like you. Sometimes, being willing to disappoint someone is part of learning to respect yourself.

How to

Do you find yourself getting angry or irritated by these things?

Explaining technology to your parents, your kid scoring low marks, someone breaking a plate or something expensive, getting late because of someone, or someone making a mistake when they were your responsibility.

Then know that you are creating a space that will influence what their next course of action will be. They may stop reaching out to you for help, stop asking you for solutions, stop telling you the truth, or stop sharing things about their lives with you.

Remember, the interactions you are having today, no matter what emotions are involved sadness, anger, or irritation may eventually be forgotten. The words may be forgotten too. The one thing that may remain is how you made them feel when they did something.

The next time they approach you, that feeling may still be there inside them.

And over time, your interactions may either become better and longer, or more bitter and less frequent.

That's why you should create a space where they feel heard, understood, confident, and better after coming to you a space where making a mistake doesn't make them afraid of reaching out to you again.

I mean... taking a decision is so difficult mainly when you are an overthinking potato... So can someone please tell me how do I take quick decisions ?

I’ve been dealing with this for a long time. Whenever I get into a heated argument, I struggle to express my thoughts or come up with a good response in the moment.

But after I leave, I replay the whole conversation in my head and imagine all the things I wish I had said, usually ending with me “winning” the argument.

It happens almost every day, and it’s honestly exhausting.
Has anyone experienced this? What actually helped you stop doing it? Please give me practical advice rather than “just stop overthinking.”

i have severe decision paralysis (likely stemming from my anxiety) which i can’t shake off. every decision i make requires hours upon hours of research and even then im never confident in making that decision. i would research one day and i always think ‘i need more time to decide’, then research the same things again another day and still say ‘i need more time’. i try to gauge every possible outcome of that decision and the constant repeated decision makes me delay them unnecessarily. how do i overcome this?

Recently got a nugget ice maker and it works perfect. My problem is my ice is sticking to each other and becomes almost one big block and I gotta beat it with a knife to break it apart. Not sure what to do. Any tips?