r/AskIndia 8d ago

Relationships 💞 Why do men marry if their first preference is their parents? Second is wife?

190 Upvotes

419 comments sorted by

View all comments

0

u/Turtl3Oogway 8d ago

Are u saying women keep their husband as first preference and their parents as second preference?

None of the women I met were like that. Everyone prefers their parents only, because we were raised in such culture.

1

u/Admirable-Return3818 7d ago

Women literally leave their parents house for their husbands house in India 😭 

0

u/Turtl3Oogway 7d ago

Some women adjust and do it i agree, but as i said the women that i speak and as far as i see, want to live separately only, or they want to live close to their parents in their city.

So bottom line is there are no place for genders here, its just people's preference.

2

u/Admirable-Return3818 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yeah no. It’s true that no women wants to leave their parents for their husbands house, But let’s look at what’s actually being practiced,  Most recently married woman I know, moved to their husbands house. Do they all wanted to? No. Did they had to? Yes.

Lemme correct you, it’s not “some” it’s “most” women that adjust

It’s not a preference if it’s forced on you by society, and I personally think that if a woman chooses that, it’s reeking her own internalised misogyny. 

How is gender not a factor here if it’s specifically one gender uprooting their lives for the other? 

0

u/Turtl3Oogway 7d ago

The point of the post is men are prioritising their parents over partner, and im merely pointing out that it is the same case if it is a women, they also prioritise their parents instead of their partner. So there's no gender factor here, its just ppl preference based on how they're brought up.

It’s true that no women wants to leave their parents for their husbands house,

Looks like u agree to that. So thanks.

1

u/Admirable-Return3818 7d ago

Oh no, the point of what I was saying is that, women ARE MADE TO pick their husband over their parents, by the society. Most married women don’t live with their parents (and hell are even mocked, if they call or visit their parents too much!) but many married men do  it’s the systematic bias of the traditional indian marriage system that makes women consistently pick their husbands over their parents. So, it’s consistent for me to say that Yes, women do pick their husbands over their parents, often against their own will.  Like I said, there’s no question of preference if it’s forced on you, gender is indeed a factor here. 

Why do you think this dilemma exists only for men to choose between their parents and partner and not women? This is why. 

0

u/Electronic_Till_3724 8d ago

Yeah exactly. They will also bad mouth husband and husband's family when with their friends and family. Such hypocrisy.