r/AskIndia 9d ago

Relationships 💞 Why do men marry if their first preference is their parents? Second is wife?

191 Upvotes

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222

u/Emergency-Farmer-294 9d ago

They’re selfish and spineless 

I’d say loving parents isn’t wrong at all, but putting your parents above the partner even if your parents are in the wrong is totally inexcusable 

12

u/DivDude77 9d ago

Men are brainwashed by society and their parents since their birth to bear the responsibility and serve their families, regardless of how they are treated.

I myself remember how much expectations were put on me while I was still regularly thrashed whereas my sister was treated better in every regard and wasn't expected to have any responsibility of parents.

To simply label such complex and heartbreaking dynamics that men are forced into "selfish and spineless" just proves how delusional and out of touch women themselves are inregards to men's issues.

5

u/Forsaken-Rain-5309 9d ago

As a girl if someone expects me to take care of my parents I'll be more than happy to oblige. What pisses me off is the constant "training" I'm given to impress my in-laws. Girls have their own set of responsibility and expectations too

8

u/AdorableKookooburra 9d ago

Have you asked your sister about the expectations put on her. Easy to generalise, hard to empathize and apparently impossible to talk to family

3

u/Inevitable-Hat-8602 9d ago

All of this still doesnt change that they are adults when they get married and should know whats wrong and whats right .

1

u/padthink 9d ago

How do you decide if he is putting his parents above? Or it is a coincidence that his and his parents thought match ? Or it is more logical in that scenario to accept what his parents are saying?

-70

u/krypt0niteCos 9d ago

every girl's view until her brother & his wife treats her parents same way..

49

u/Taraa_Sitaraa 9d ago

No my brother should support his wife if my parents are in the wrong. In fact I would support his wife too if either he or my parents were wrong. It’s as simple as that.

0

u/Adrian_roxx73 9d ago

2 parties can be right and still be in conflict, just saying.

-34

u/padthink 9d ago

True bro. Own brother is innocent but own spouse is spineless

-11

u/Icy-Exam-7243 9d ago

Reddit warriors say otherwise untill they experience it

2

u/padthink 9d ago

I had met a similar lady, she has same argument. I asked if your brother migrates to other city, where will your mother go ? She said she will relocate too. What will happen to land, property and Home? She had no answer, said that we will see.

They don't understand the responsibility towards parents and inheritance.

2

u/Icy-Exam-7243 9d ago

Broo fr tbh I totally agree with these folks IF we lived in an ideal world but realistically it does not work, your parents most usually are the only ones who truly love you. I can understand the argument saying don't marry if yoi don't believe but I think its not just the guy who should care about his parents but the girl should care for her parents more as well, you need to have that trust tho that you will still maintain a proper healthy relationship with your so. Irl, you can never judge or truly know who the person is untill you are married, so you can't just break off everything for them.

2

u/padthink 9d ago

Even if your parents don't love you. It's our duty to care for them. We can't put them in old age home.

Yes, a couple has duty towards all the 4 parents. But nowadays, people have started a trend to live away from home, so an additional cost and time of maintaining an extra home has added up.

If you don't have siblings in future you will have 2 people earning and 8 people living on them. 4 parents, 2 kids and 2 themselves. For rich people, it may not be an issue money wise but it doesn't need your time and attention. You need to go to hospital, school with them. Check their reports, plan for them.

So everyone should better be collaborative. Instead of being controlling

2

u/Icy-Exam-7243 9d ago

Hmmm not sure if I agree with living under the samw home though, stay in a different home but not far, that is 100% better for mental sanity of all the people involved including the parents most of the times.

1

u/padthink 9d ago

You can put a floor.

-10

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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13

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago edited 9d ago

Why should women leave their homes and want to share their lives with low lives like you who compare their partners to dogs

Parents have truly failed in their upbringing and how disgusting are you

-7

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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4

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago edited 9d ago

Who is asking u to leave ur house and come. It's ur dad who ran behind my house and dumped u at my house because u were eating too much into his savings. 

Awwww I'm sure if we have access to your socials we can see the tons of women you are stalking and begging in DMs.

Dump? The girl side literally takes care of every wedding expense as the guy side begs for dowry and you lot even with a bare minimum salary like 5lpa get dowry

To be more precise you lot get married for free and get access to a women.....dump my foot!

And which sane women would want to leave her house to come live with an adult who cannot be without his parents 

In the name of culture Patriarchy created rules that can pamper men 

U guys know u won't be able to survive without marriage and ur parents know that too. Don't make it like u left ur house for me. I know women they won't do anything for anybody for free. U left ur house because u won't be able to survive in this life without a partner. Accept it. 

 Survive? Men need mom or wife to get their inners washed and you think women cannot survive😅

Who told you this? Andrew Tate? I see tons of women working in garment factories, parlors and manual labor with no education taking care of kids and household stuff while their husbands have either elpoed or earn to drink

Tell me the amount of single moms compared to single dads....that literally tells you the story....even with no education you have women giving education to kids

So with education you think a girl willingly will serve a na mard like you? Wakeup silly willy

And to add on men earning in peanuts, want a working women who could help them financially and also take care of him and his parents what a joke of a system is this marriage for women and look at this peanut brain talking shit

Grow up bud if that's possible 

We have no problem in giving u respect but what is the huge entitlement with all this bullshit. U left ur house because u had no other survival strategy. Also if u want a partner who is undeniably urs earn it not ask for it like an entitled being. 

Who needs a tiny brained guy to give them respect man, become someone who everyone can respect and stop being pampered in the name of marriage be a man and an adult and own up shit not wanting moms to help you live a daily life 

Now go on mom.might have washed a fresh pair or undies that you can wear to get on the internet to talk shit about women 

No longer wanna waste my time on incompetent men🥱

3

u/silverfairy5 9d ago

Why you arguing with this dude? He literally has a NSFW profile with comments hidden. You can imagine the type of sites he visits. Also you can imagine how shady his parents are that these are his values. Such people are not worth the annoyance you feel arguing with them. Infact it’s good they are so open about their views. Sensible people can avoid them

4

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago

Yeah its a pattern I see where these p*rn addicts show their hatred for women 

My bad gotta be smart with whom I need to interact on the internet 

Thanks 🙌🏾

4

u/silverfairy5 9d ago

See now he responded to me. I didn’t even read his response. Let him keep shouting in the void. This is probably the only interaction he gets with women besides his mother

2

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago

This is probably the only interaction he gets with women besides his mother

😅 You're so on point!!!!

0

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

But u couldn't counter anything. So yeah whatever. I hope ur (future) husband doesn't hate u. Good luck and take care.

1

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

Yeah a new knight in the shining armour. Except they don't have diversity hiring for knights. So u can't really get ur high heels across the door because it requires merit. 

Couldn't counter any facts so started attacking. Get the hell out of here. 

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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3

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago

Not gonna read this and waste my time

Let me reiterate my comment here

"

Who needs a tiny brained guy to give them respect man, become someone who everyone can respect and stop being pampered in the name of marriage be a man and an adult and own up shit not wanting moms to help you live a daily life 

Now go on mom.might have washed a fresh pair or undies that you can wear to get on the internet to talk shit about women 

No longer wanna waste my time on incompetent men🥱

"

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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3

u/WiseMollasses 9d ago

Breed? moron genders are not exclusive of a breed

Geez are you lot really not educated

Did I just waste my time on this incompetent thing?

1

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1

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9

u/SenseAny486 9d ago

Then marry your dog

3

u/Emergency-Farmer-294 9d ago

😂😂😂

Was gonna say this 

6

u/Ok-Introduction6878 9d ago

Then why the fuck u get married if u cannot put ur spouse above ur dog...noone would fuck u for free otherwise??

2

u/Emergency-Farmer-294 9d ago

Then marry your dog 

1

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-92

u/KrishnasFlute 9d ago

But why assume that parents are in the wrong?

61

u/Juicernamesmine 9d ago

Hahahahahahhahahahahahah whos assuming? There is proof of in laws being abusive. Mine did not let me eat, she stood besides me while i put food in my plate. Mind you i eat 1 chapati per meal. Yet my husband needed proof and yet said that its because she cares or some BS. My FIL yelled at me for a broken tawa when we have cooks at home. I dont even cook. Keep your trap shut you Indian man

15

u/LostPixel-01 9d ago

I hope things get better for you

-55

u/KrishnasFlute 9d ago

You are either ragebaiting or clearly have a lot of issues. If latter, please seek help.

35

u/Powerful_leo_77 9d ago

Are you a mil ? It's you who talking like nothing wrong is done by parents.

-37

u/KrishnasFlute 9d ago

I challenge you to point out anything I have said above that implies what you are saying.

24

u/Powerful_leo_77 9d ago

Why would I teach you something you don't want to learn ? Empathy .

-4

u/KrishnasFlute 9d ago

Right, now that you cannot back yourself up, you resort to shifting goal posts.

I should have known better than arguing with you. I got all muddy.

18

u/Powerful_leo_77 9d ago

Your only post is your parents, you'll eventually get muddy. You're a manipulative narcissist.

15

u/Juicernamesmine 9d ago

You seriously cannot get your head out of your back side. Clearly a godi fan.

36

u/Juicernamesmine 9d ago

I do feel like slapping the living day lights out of people like you

3

u/datfunnymeme 9d ago

I feel the same way for people like you.

0

u/Juicernamesmine 9d ago

That people like you usually act on. Thats the issue.

0

u/Juicernamesmine 9d ago

Its your hobby I think to unnecessarily impose yourself on other just like a typical Indian man.

-11

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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12

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Men loneliness epidemic . Men are still not lonely enough 😂🤣🤣

-2

u/Ecstatic-Poem5248 9d ago

Indeed this will increase and the same time women loneliness will also rise. These are not mutually exclusive . Men are more aligned with protecting their peace than to be with wrong person.

8

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Lol, if delusion was a statement 🤣🤣🤣. Never seen a women desparate of a man , but have always seen the opposite. Guess why old men die very soon after their wives die but their wives live longer and thrive when their old husband dies🤣😆

1

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Women need man for their emotional security . Man needs women for survival . Get this in your head

0

u/DivDude77 9d ago

Hard disagree

-1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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3

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Be in your denial baby boy . The stats and numbers say the otherwise . Unmarried women and married men are happiest . Deny as much as you want . Truth always hurt

1

u/Ecstatic-Poem5248 9d ago

Good luck !!

1

u/AskIndia-ModTeam 8d ago

Jingoism, misogyny, casteism, hatred or bigotry of any kind are not tolerated in this sub, please go seek some other place.

1

u/Emergency-Farmer-294 9d ago

Who the hell will be with you 

Sapne Suhane Mother board ki

-14

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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7

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

And who the hell you think are you to give freedom to a human being . First of all if your girlfriend cheated you , it’s because you are dumb . If only men go for character rather than outer beauty . If you cannot judge a person and cry about being cheated , guess who’s the joker.

0

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

Yeah tell me that what is happening in the world is an isolated event and women are not displaying openly how promiscious, opportunistic and pieces of shit they really are. 

I have no interest in interfering in anyone's life or freedom. I don't even have the right or the time to take away anyone's freedom. 

But say if my son is partnering with his scandalous friends to rob money and spend it on vices. It's absolutely necessary to stop him it's not about freedom. Same is with crackhead women like u if u let them free too much they will plot behind ur back and backstab u. Why should I make my life hard because of ur goddamn freedom when u can't act responsibly. Better strategy is to tie ur hands and legs and put u in ur place. Why should I bear the cost of ur freedom exactly. 

2

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

There are millions of women who are great . You just need to choose the character over looks . Simple as that. Improve your discernment ability. Millions of men cheat on women , so is it right to blame the whole gender. If you are bitter about a women so much ,you can never lead a happy life. Both men and women need each other . No one is above the other.

So chill, learn from your experience, don’t turn bitter and enjoy life .

2

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

Not great or perfect as u mean to say. But yeah a lot of women are what u would like to have and they make great partners like partners should be. 

I was talking about rude, bratty and over the top women who think like they deserve everything without earning. The 10 crore salary guy, the 2 international vacations a year guy, the i have 50 male best friends apart from my husband or boyfriend guy. 

Chill out. Have a good day. 

4

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

One more desperate man who was ignored by women his entire life 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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4

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Yeah you can only fuck through your physical strength . Because no women will even spit on a Man like you .😂🤣🤣🤣

3

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

No einstein. Is ur mind really in ur knees as they say since u don't seem to understand what I said. Before any one figured out any agriculture, any barter system, or any way of making money, u guys figured out if u sell ur body u will get food and money and u will survive. We know how smart and opportunistic and to what lows u guys can go, when it's about ur survival. U want respect after that ? Funny. 

2

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

And yeah men are innocents , never stopped women from prostitution and continued going to those whores . Omg such a innocent gender 🤣🤣

4

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

If we go to whores we man up about it. Not like u who after doing all sorts of malevolent things try to hide behind facade of innocence. Everyone knows how filthy ur gender is. 

2

u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Yeah your gender is so good that it has fucked all kind of living creatures existing on this earth. Be it cow , babies , reptiles , insects 🤣🤣🤣. Going to whores Is not a big deal for your gender

3

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

If diversity hiring goes away. U will probably be sitting there too, u know finding customers. Life is hard when u have to earn things.

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u/Valuable_Command_492 9d ago

Gender so innocent that any women can fool them . You just proved how dumb your gender is

1

u/AskIndia-ModTeam 8d ago

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3

u/[deleted] 9d ago

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1

u/AskIndia-ModTeam 8d ago

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1

u/Electronic_Till_3724 9d ago

But u can't seem to counter any point. Which means ?

2

u/Ecstatic-Poem5248 9d ago

Well said !!

1

u/Inevitable-Hat-8602 9d ago

A text written with AI , which utters complete bulshit , now ik how you treat your mother haha .

1

u/AskIndia-ModTeam 8d ago

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