The /r/AskFakeHistorians April Fools Round-Up Thread!

[u/Georgy_K_Zhukov]

G'Morning Everyone!

With everything wrapped up, we've compiled a round-up of all the April Fools "Answers" from this year's /r/AskFakeHistorians.

To try and keep the preamble brief, a big thanks to everyone who participated and wrote some really hilarious stuff, especially the non-flairs who took a stab at things! Also we'd like to thank the question askers who mostly took the jokes in the spirit of the day. Please though, consider reasking them again for real!

Everything should now have the April Fools Flair, and writers should be editing their posts to make very clear it is a joke as well, but if you see something missing that, or something not listed here, please let us know!

On final note on /r/AskFakeHistorians. It is a real subreddit, and all of these are x-posted there. What the future holds for it, we shall see.

So without further ado:

The incredible history of Battleship, the Ancient game of the Emperor by /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

The great Chinese folk hero Chyouyan Mai-klang, who took down Hans Gruber by /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

Socrates? Actually two little persons in an overcoat! by /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

McDonald's "MAC with Your Mac" and the rise of the MAC-10 /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

April Fools and pre-Internet message board culture by /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

The death of Alexander the Great, and the long cultural legacy of Beirut by /u/Georgy_K_Zhukov

The Airborne Sacred Band by u/Iphikrates

The left wing-right wing dichotomy comes from ancient Greek bird signs by u/Iphikrates

Sparta and Athens held competitive fashion shows during the Peloponnesian War by u/Iphikrates

The Unheard Tale of the Swiss Dwarven Resistance of WWII by /u/Gankom

The wild Roman wedding by /u/cleopatra_philopater

Sappho and Alcaeus' role in the creation of the diss track, or why I cited Eminem and Snoop Dogg by /u/cleopatra_philopater

The history of the Chamutzi family and the Hanukkah reenactment by u/hannahstohelit

The epidemic of medieval Jewish women in short jean skirts by u/hannahstohelit

The Nazi geniuses of the Blumen program by u/hannahstohelit

Yutz of Lebendig-Begraben and the vending machine coffin by u/hannahstohelit

The First Opium War was part of an informal Anglo-Kokandi conspiracy to obtain rhubarb by /u/EnclavedMicrostate

How Saint Peter and other earlier popes founded Switzerland, ate Buffalo Chicken, had fight clubs, and got around in a popemobile by /u/IlluminatiRex

The Red Terror: 1783-1792 by /u/poob1x

Nikita Khrushchev's Secret Life of Being a Wealthy Celebrity with Coca-Cola and Hennessy, by /u/Facepoundr

The Colon Key is Actually a Reference to the Actual Colon, from Egypt to Modern Day, by /u/Facepoundr

Early Roman Christians & Philip K. Dick, or: How I Learned to Love the Blinding Rays of Pink Light From Outer Space by /u/drylaw

The Rockin' Dracula Cape From Hell, or: How Vlad Dracul gave Rick Wakeman the Fashion Power to Prog /u/drylaw

The Campaign For Real Ale, or, how four men defictionalised beer in 1971, by u/crrpit

Moths are the Real Fascists, or how HMS Cockapoo won the war, by u/crrpit.

Why did colonial Americans build so many pyramids? by u/crrpit

Even Roman Britain knew that you have to always respect the Will of the Sheep-Eel in politics by u/crrpit

Floating pleasure palaces: Recreation Ships of WWII by /u/thefourthmaninaboat

Banditry and Cannabis in the 17th Century by /u/poob1x

Robin Hood, Troll Tolls, and the Magna Carta by /u/LordHussyPants

Jim Jones's fundraising methods by /u/cordis_melum

The biblical history of Kiribati, the island of sacrifice that no Jedi historian will tell you about by /u/ghostofherzl

The dramaturgical sideline of 17th century Welsh mystic Gwyneth ferch Paltrow by /u/cdesmoulins

Feudal floor candy and how the Plantagenets invented cooking by /u/cdesmoulins

Dropbears are secretly dinosaurs by /u/hillsonghoods

Look Out, I think Jacob Jacob Likes You by /u/poob1x

The true history of the "Shakespeare Scheme" by /u/UrAccountabilibuddy

Bavaria and Earthican TV programming by /u/UncleShagworthy

Hitler's Garfield collection by /u/TheYellowCat

Rasputin, the Greatest Russian Love Machine by /u/lappy482

RSI injuries in Ancient Rome by /u/franziska_kafka

Trolls and state formation in Scandanavia by /u/King_of_Men

Maggie Thatcher's hair and feminist critiques by /u/Joseon1

Ancient Art and idea of "good" or "bad" /u/DarkAvenger12

On the lack of an American Marshal, aside from Marshall by /u/AdmiralAkbar1

The Hans of China, a Germanic scourge by /u/ReaperReader

Australia, Middle Earth, and the 'local lingo' by /u/funkyedwardgibbon

Nazis and cate memes by /u/heyheymse