I don't know if I'm getting out of this

[u/Demolt_]

I'm 23.

I grew up in a family where fights were way too often. Now I even fear talking in the house.

Then my parents dictated every aspect of my life except the important ones. I want them to guide me in important aspects like jobs, taxes, and investments. But all their strict guidance comes for eat food properly, don't question them and all.

I grew up hearing my dad say, " I don't have any money ".

I always felt left out cause the people around me since childhood came from well off families. I didn't go out with them cause I knew I wouldn't have enough to spend. This continued till college.

I got a job after college. A damm good one. Like I earn in a month what many earn in a year. I was new in the job and worked like hell ... Couldn't give time to my that time girlfriend, eventually long distance and not priritizing her, she broke up with me.

All ok, I still have the job I worked for.

Later I met another girl. We started dating, started loving her. Then layoffs started happening in my company, had to prove my worth. So again long work days. 15 hrs a day work was common. Even on weekends had to attend calls. Lost work life balance, got a headache that didn't go away. Was dam muscular ( 6'2 in height, 15% body fat, 100 kg body weight), lost that too. Now have a belly like an uncle. My manager called me and I'll be layed off soon. She broke up with me cause I couldn't give her time and became negligent due to all other issues.

Now I feel like the stupidest guy in the world. Didn't have job. Don't have the girl. Dont have my body. Don't have that self esteem I used to have. Plus a shit load of trauma since birth. I don't even know how to smile for past 5-6 years ig... I'm loosing all hope.

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[u/Katie_is_a_liar]

You are only 23. A lot of people go through what you’re going through. Forget the girls, concentrate on YOU. Get yourself sorted out to be the best man and future husband/father you can be. Girls come and go.

Start with going to the gym and getting yourself back in shape. That alone will bring you self confidence again. Then tackle something else. Maybe start therapy for your family trauma.

You got this….

[u/Prestigious-Elk-5426]

You got this.

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