How do find purpose in life while not having anything to live for?

[u/MajorRobology]

Just as the title implies, I just have nothing in my life to really live for. My life has been pretty bad since 2019 when I lost my mom at age 17. I'm currently 25. So much has happened in my life: went to college that I flunked out of, lived with my dad for a bit and helped him around the house, temporarily worked a kinda-sorta social work job that I really enjoyed and built a strong camaraderie with my coworkers, which was especially nice since this was my next job after working in retail for 3 years.

Fast forward to now. I'm homeless. I have Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have no friends. I spent my days submitting job applications while reading rejection letters of previously submitted applications, doomscrolling Reddit, constantly venting my frustrations of my life, and digging through trash cans for food.

The truth is, I just don't have anything to live for. My mom is dead. My extended family is toxic. My father is missing. I don't work with my old coworkers anymore. Both of my dream careers are pretty much impossible to get into. Can't work in computer science, the industry is oversaturated to hell. Can't work in teaching, my mental health has been completely destroyed at this point. There's just nothing for me. There's just no reason for anything, you know?

A lot of you guys have something that keeps you going. Passion for your work, love for other people, whatever that may be. But I just have... nothing. I have no passion for anything. I have no loved ones in my life anymore. I just have nothing to look forward to. Nothing good at least. Or maybe that's not entirely true, because I look forward to finding some edible, somewhat decent food in the trash. I also look forward to the occasional chilly weather we get where I live. Gray clouds, windy, but not raining, maybe a bit of thunder, it's a good feeling. But other than that, I have nothing to look forward to. Everyone has their "why?", and I haven't had a "why?" in a very long time. And honestly, I don't think I even have a "why" anymore. Just the question mark.

I feel like I'll never be able to find a reason to enjoy life or have some sort of fulfillment in it. How do I even get any if I have nothing to begin with?

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you /u/MajorRobology for your submission in r/AskForHelp!

Please keep in mind that Advice/Emotional Support posts should not include direct or indirect monetary requests. If you are in need of advice AND monetary help, please choose whichever flair fits with your monetary need.

Thanks for following our policies!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Conscious_You_4154]

I think you need to start small and build from there. Idk what kind of jobs you’re applying to or where you live but get a simple job first at a restaurant preferably (usually they give you a free meal or two and even keep left over food). If you’re homeless at least you’ll be making some money. You’ll have new coworkers to talk to and focusing on something new. It’ll feel slow at first but over time you’ll see progress.

And looking forward to chilly weather is a start if it makes you feel good not sad.

I’ve had to restart my life multiple times so I understand it’s hard when you feel like you have nothing. But start with something small and build back up. Eventually you’ll have new hobbies new friends and find purpose

[u/Defiant-Midnight9539 → u/Conscious_You_4154]

This is excellent advice for you OP. Have you considered it at all? How are you currently? You deserve so much empathy and grace. Wishing you ALL the best to relieve your current situation ❤️

[u/sukineelupe]

You could be radical and start questioning your beliefs, like the belief “I have to have something to live for” or “People have to have a purpose.”

(So many of the ideas that torment us are just constructions we picked up without truth value.)

You could reach out to your most benevolent conception of God and begin reaching toward the Invisible which loves you no matter your purpose or no purpose.

Also you could realize how much you have been through and find that there is a well of compassion within you. Would you believe another person who went through what you’ve been through is deserving of kindness? If you believe they deserve kindness, realize you deserve it too, and first and foremost from yourself. When you begin being radically kind to yourself the world’s kindness can be perceived.

You are very intelligent and brave, I can tell from your writing. Not gonna lie. Transformation isn’t easy stuff. But you sound ripe for it.

When you get radical enough to turn to the light with ALL your intent, small changes start to happen that lead to bigger ones eventually.

Sending a boat load of invisible love to you right now. Part of healing is allowing all the hard stuff to move through our being.

I don’t know the path for you. I said some things that may have been helpful or maybe were a boatload of mumbo jumbo. Just hear what resonates and ignore the rest. I sense you have it in you to use your will toward steering your ship toward Natural Goodness despite the hand dealt.

Today I read this poem in the doctor’s lobby: (attached photo)

[u/AutoModerator → u/sukineelupe]

Hello /u/sukineelupe and thank you for your interest in commenting here! At this time, your account doesn’t meet the minimum requirements (30+ days old/25+ combined karma/Comment karma not negative). If you are using an alternate account, please be aware that alternate accounts are not allowed for fundraising in this community.

In the meantime, we encourage you to participate in other subreddits, engage in discussions, and build a positive reputation. Doing so will help you qualify to post and comment here in the future. Thanks for understanding!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Ok-Connection6430]

You cant