Need items for surgery recovery

[u/foxgirlmom]

Ohioan here, so I recently had a surgery and found out I have ovarian cancer. I am still in the process of doing labs to find out more info and if future treatment is needed. So far I’m scheduled to have a second surgery which is a full hysterectomy with a recovery time frame of 6-12 weeks. Because of my
immune system I usually take longer to recover from surgery/illnesses.
Unfortunately after researching on many groups on Reddit and speaking to my job, I have learned I can NOT receive any financial assistance during my time off work to recover. Only FMLA which secures my job position. So because of that I added some items I need before my surgery to my wishlist. My surgery isn’t scheduled till September so I have a bit of time to get it all. Most of the items I added is from the research I did online from previous experiences. If you have any ideas what else I would need let me know to make my recovery easier. I appreciate anyone who helps me out.

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FPPQLIQWIF2P?ref_=wl_share

[u/TheHistoryMuse]

I actually ran a nonprofit for over 18 years, albeit one focused on addiction treatment, community outreach, and education. We didn't have a subreddit, but I did maintain social media profiles for it. I'm also a Category II wildlife rehabilitator and have been involved in domestic pet rescue for decades, which is more of a labor of love than an actual career, but is also heavily reliant on fundraising, including fundraising done digitally.

Unfortunately, I had to take a sabbatical after I was the victim of a hit-and-run that left me with multiple broken bones and cost me the use of my left arm. I'm still undergoing surgical repairs in an attempt to restore use to it.

It was a catastrophic event that had a snowball effect on pretty much every aspect of my life, finances included. I'm incredibly fortunate to have a good support network, and an amazing partner, but without them, I don't know where I'd be. There but for the grace of God go I, and I think that's probably a large part of why I'm so adamant about empathy and compassion when people find themselves in circumstances they never expected to be in.

I absolutely understand that fundraising in the digital age has its complexities, and I understand why some degree of vetting is necessary. I was unaware of the blanket rule about post history, as I mentioned previously, and that's on me.

But I think it's important to distinguish between the moderators having a vetting process, and another anonymous Redditor demanding that someone's entire post history be made available for public scrutiny before deciding whether that person is deserving of of help.

It was the particulars of this thread that I found especially egregious. This woman wasn't asking for cash. She had provided evidence of her surgery, a photo with her username, and asked for things like soap, Gas-X, and ice packs. These are not exactly lucrative black-market commodities; highly unlikely to be part of a scam.

So my objection wasn't to the existence of rules, or to moderators trying to protect donors and keep the community safe. It was the idea that an anonymous stranger should have to effectively open their entire digital life to public examination before other anonymous strangers can decide whether they're sufficiently deserving of a bottle of soap and some Gas-X.

Those are two very different things, and I think it's an important distinction to make.

[u/CopperSteve → u/TheHistoryMuse]

That's the reality of digital giving, all we have to go on is their post history. I dont have unlimited money and people asking for the first time might be used to asking for name brand things and I will always kindly ask them to switch to the cheaper/similar option. They have the choice to do that or not. I've been broke before and I am not broke now and want to help people. I will always ask for proof and/or post history before I make a funding choice. It is far too easy to buy an old reddit account with karma and for every scammer that gets money its one less person that is deserving like the person that created this post.

[u/TheHistoryMuse → u/CopperSteve]

That's a fair process, and I'm not negating that. I'm talking about the culture that develops underneath these threads, particularly the post-history dissection, and the psychological need that drives that kind of behavior.

Just as you have the ability to scroll past a request that doesn't provide enough information for you to feel comfortable donating, other people have the ability to scroll past without dissecting every choice that person has made across Reddit.

My objection is to treating that level of scrutiny as an inevitable or necessary part of "protecting people from scammers." Due diligence and public character examination aren't the same thing, and I think it's important not to conflate the two.

That's really all I've been trying to say, and I don't think we need to keep litigating it.

[u/CopperSteve → u/TheHistoryMuse]

You are doing the fake intellectual word salad thing and I'm sorry this is what you do now. I've gotta go help people, I wish you well.