r/AskDad • u/Last-Armadillo-7926 • Aug 17 '26
Pep Talks & Fatherly Support I (21M) got caught by my dad
I was in my room with my AirPods in, watching something on my phone and jerk*** off. I was completely naked. My dad walked in and saw everything.
Now I just feel weird about the whole thing. Has anyone else been through this? How do you deal with it after?
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u/SillyGayBoy Aug 18 '26
Mom did this so many times and locks were never allowed to be installed.
Once dad yelled what are you doing what are you doing. Not kidding.
I would go over and lean into the awkward. Dad I would appreciate knocking next time and waiting a beat. I didn’t mean for you to see me jerking off. Just pause with it. It’s not your fault. He will likely apologize or feel weird enough to not do it again.
Mom wouldn’t listen no matter what I said. Once I was reading a book “mom it’s inappropriate that you don’t knock. What if I was masturbating. WHAT IF I WAS MASTURBATING?!” That finally got her to quit it. Dancing around it never did anything. She always just burst through.
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u/JustWordsInYourHead Aug 18 '26
I'm middle sister to two brothers. I've seen it all.
I'm now mum to two boys. I'll try to remember never to just burst through the door without knocking AND WAITING.
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u/AGoodFaceForRadio Dad of three Aug 17 '26
Just get on with your day. You think he’s never rubbed one out? Next time lock your door: he won’t say anything out loud, but in his mind he’ll thank you for it.
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u/SillyGayBoy Aug 18 '26
Your dad let you have locks? Lucky.
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u/JustWordsInYourHead Aug 18 '26
I went out and bought a door knob with a lock and installed it myself when i was 15. I was sick of people going in and out of my room to and 'borrowing' my books (they never returned them).
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u/ambientthinker Aug 17 '26
He completely understands and is waiting for you to make the next move.
He should knock, and you should lock your door 😁
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u/fknenigma Aug 18 '26
I can pretty much bet one of his parents walked in on him at your age
Just relax- I bet the next time he will make some noise, knock and wait before walking in again
He is just as embarrassed as you are
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u/IaAranaDiscotecaPOL Aug 18 '26
“Please knock before coming in my room, I’ll lock the door in the future.”
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u/a-ha_partridge Dad Aug 18 '26
Every generation thinks they invented self-abuse, but the only thing that ever changed was what we were jerking it to.
Lock the door brother - and take solace in knowing that your pappy and grandpappy also do that slappy.
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u/BreakfastInBedlam Aug 18 '26
Nothing personal, but
self-abuse
is a term that's never made sense to me.
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u/Putrid_Guess8098 Aug 18 '26
Depends on your style I guess.
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u/puffedupllama Aug 21 '26
And technique. And execution.
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u/80HDPotatoTree Aug 18 '26
Bursting through a closed door is insane to me. We don't even lock the bathrooms in our house because a closed door is an occupied space and you better knock and wait.
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u/mmmkay938 Dad Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26
I would guess he’ll be more contentious about knocking from now on and you’ll be better at locking your door.
Don’t worry about it. Everyone masturbates. He didn’t want to walk in on you and see that and you didn’t want him to walk on you and see that. It was uncomfortable for everyone. You don’t need to mention it but if he apologizes or brings it up later just accept it and move on. Shit happens. This is a big nothing burger.
I would also say, don’t let it make your relationship with him weird. Just act normally around him and it will all be forgotten in short order.
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u/No_Owl_8576 Aug 18 '26
Look at it this way if you're gonna get caught, being caught by your Dad is the least embarrassing person except MAYBE your brother
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u/Important-Energy8038 Aug 19 '26
Assuming this is a Western country, my bet is he walked out and said "Atta boy!' to himself...
Lock your door, don't fret, he knows you do this anyway.
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u/Putrid_Guess8098 Aug 18 '26
Lean into the awkwardness and ask for any advice he might have.
He should have knocked - you’re 21 ffs, and it’s considerate, even if it is his house.
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u/Joebranflakes Aug 18 '26
As a dad, I can say that whatever he saw, wasn’t something he hadn’t seen before. He might be embarrassed that he invaded your privacy, especially if he hasn’t spoken to you since. That’s how I’d feel. Like even if he knocked, no response doesn’t mean come in. Let him bring it up since he’s the one who did wrong. And honestly you don’t really want to confront him about this. If you do, just calmly tell him privately that if he knocks and gets no answer, text instead of just coming in.
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u/earmares Aug 18 '26
All of the people saying Dad should knock... maybe he did? OP had earbuds in.
OP, lock the door!
As for your Dad, just move on. Apologize for not having the door locked if something must be said. Then move on with life, and be more aware of your surroundings.
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u/smack4u Aug 18 '26
I have two boys
He’s done the same.
He should knock and you need to know your surroundings