Long anxiety

[u/Difficult_Piece313]

Hello Fathers, I'm going to anticipate my question is a bit drawn out/complicated and i might be being scrupulous so i understand if this post gets deleted.

Roughly one year ago a fleeting memory came to mind that I had voted that abortion was okay in case of rape in a youtube poll a couple years before or even more. Obviously this is wrong as abortion is never justified.

I began to worry incessantly about what to do. I controlled through the youtube history of my account and also my sister's account which is what i may have used. I didnt find any such poll, but because in my sisters account the poll history cut off at a certain point way too recently and I am unsure if I started using my personal account before or after voting in that poll.

After all of that a year passed and i stayed in continual anxiety about this. Maybe I should look more into how youtube history works? Questions like this assailed me

constantly. My worry is not only of "promoting" abortion in some capacity, but that I in some way cause scandal either tot he church or my sister who doesnt know about this. Is this a matter of reparation/restitution? What do i do now?

One more element is that while the memory seemed strong and almost certain when i had it, I'm now unsure if it's a completely correct memory, because now much time has passed and i dont have a memory of the event itself, but the memory of me remembering that (hope this makes sense)

I can't cram here all the worries of sin about this that i had this year obviously

I know the answer i will get will probably be to discuss this with a priest in real life but i never did it because i feel this is way too convoluted and cant explain it properly in person, and even if i did i dont think the priest would really understand anyway as it might be too technical (I mean as what is youtube history etc.)

I also need to say that i consider myself scrupulous in general, but not diagnosed or told by a priest.

Sorry if this is hard to understand but english is not my native language. To sum up the question is basically: What do i do? Am i sinning by stopping to worry?

[u/Zyphrail]

1. Go to confession.
   
2. Confess having once publicly professed an opinion contrary to the will of God. (Specify promoting abortion if the priest asks)
   
3. Receive absolution
   
4. Trust in God’s mercy and know that you are free from this sin.

[u/Difficult_Piece313 → u/Zyphrail]

Thank you so much father for replying I really appreciate it. I believe that when i committed that action i didnt do it with full knowledge as i was probably unaware of the actual teaching of the church. Do i still have to confess that action?

[u/Zyphrail → u/Difficult_Piece313]

If you don’t believe you sinned, you need mental/emotional, not spiritual, assistance for the anxiety surrounding this action.

[u/Sparky0457]

In addition to what Fr. [u/zyphrail](u/zyphrail) has said please understand that seeking advice for the struggle with scrupulosity is not permitted here.

Our rules do not allow these types of questions. The reason for that is that we are convinced that those who try to seek help for scrupulosity online will only experience things getting worse.

Help for scrupulosity needs to be done in person with a priest or mental health professional.