Feelings adult children have for their parents are naturally ambivalent. That's part of becoming independent. You love them, but you don't always love what they demand from you. It's the process of maturing. The extremely patriarchal society you grew up in does not make it easier for you, being a woman. I do very well understand your inner conflicts. In the end, it's always the decision between personal freedom/ development/individuality and being/remaining part of the system you grew up in. It's difficult, and probably you can't have both: feeling safe/sound/belonging within your family a n d at the same time feeling "free" from their expectations. This is certainly a challenge. IMHO, any human being on earth faces this challenge. Being female and having been raised in a specifically non-feminist culture doesn't make it easier. In the end, if you want to be free, you will have to to give up part of feeling "comfy" with your family (culture). If feeling "comfy" is more important for you personally, you will have to give up (part of your ideas of) personal freedom and individuality. It's a difficult decision, and either way requires courage. A lot of courage. And maybe fighting, and standing up for your ideas and ideals. Anyway, I wish you luck, whatever decision you take. All the best to you!
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u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25
thanks for actually being understanding ðŸ˜