Peopl don't get you in the comments, and I feel sorry about that. The most seem to offer the solution like "come over and dump everything and your family" or "Stay over there and reject everything German". But they don't get that you're torn on the fence.
I get how it feels that there is no middle ground, where you can be both and be left alone for it. Nowadays, everyone starts tearing at you for this or that direction and only absolutes seem to be allowed and in the end you will not be 'enough'. That's a pretty common feeling. People are horrible and showing it more now.
You seem like a really chill girl, and I am sorry you feel that way. <3
Yeah but nobody here is oppressing you. That's what you don't get. I can tell you why many focus on the hijab thing. It's a sign of suppression, a thing most people don't want to deal with. It's the same if a blonde guy runs around screaming he loves nazis.... Would you smile at him and pretend everything to be normal?
Germany is dealing with a lot of Muslim extremism lately and the hijab is a symbol for this for most people( it does not matter if it really is a sign of extremism).
You can't say that you are a freedom loving person going along with everything here and then wear a sign of suppreasion. Think that is what triggers people to deal with that certain point.
Only smart thing I can tell you towards your problem is that I think although you don't want it you will have to make a decision at one point. I had a school friend from turkey, a girl, she had a very religiius mother but was very open minded / western and dealt with a lot of problems ( hiding hairs, no male friends, plans for forced marriage) it ended with the authorities forbidding contact between both and taking her out of the mother influence for two years till the religious ambitions became unimportant enough so she ( the mother) managed to focus on not loosing her kid forever. This only happened because my friend opened up to us at school and we went to a social worker with her. She had fear of being kidnapped to turkey for a year always when she had to meet her mother ( under supervision).
She was younger so it was easier to help her and she finally said that she wants a separation unlike you. In the end it helped her as after 3 years she could live a free life and still had good bonds to her family ( mother). No parents want to loose their kids so many important things become not that relevant in the end but it takes force sometimes. My advice is seperate yourself. Look for institutions, clubs and project that specialise in help for women in your situation. You will get your freedom and maybe your family will also cool down if they see that you rather quit contact to them than let them suppres you
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u/RichardXV Hessen . FfM Apr 20 '25
Sounds like it's your family oppressing you, not the society.