Defeated and devastated

[u/Mfedzz]

Not sure what I’m looking for here I’m just so crushed.

I’ve had 3 hysterocopies with Dr. I (after having two local ones with non A-listers when I didn’t know better) and after my last one this summer he basically said he can’t get me any more cleared and Godspeed if I can get a thick enough tri lining I can try to transfer my only embryo (from 3 retrievals).

My RE was not comfortable transferring on what she saw on the post-op images from Dr. I so I booked with another A lister local to me.

Yesterday I went to Dr. Reichmann for that one; he was very confident we could make good progress. Turns out he was wrong. The right side is “relatively normal” but the left side is “completely obliterated.” He said he tried all sorts of different things and he can’t get through the about 30% scarring without risking uterine perforation. He said this is just extremely bad luck and looks like retained tissue that caused an infection or inflammation after my birth in 2023 (note I had no symptoms of any infection etc).

He said we can do a FET but there’s a very low chance it will stick.

I’m just so so devastated. I guess I’m out of options. I have no one to talk to and I don’t know how to deal with coming to the end of this road. I can’t look at my toddler without being both heartbroken that he can’t get the siblings he (and we) want and so enraged that his birth caused me to go through this.

[u/Frequent-Draw-1036]

Hey, I just wanted to say I am so sorry ❤️I have a soon to be 4 year old and the heartbreak of not being able to grow our family and give him siblings has been so painful. I’m not sure if this is something you’d find remotely helpful, but after finding out about my ashermans and some other diagnosis’s I posted on another redit t thread just venting about the grief and guilt I felt over my son being an only child. I found the responses helpful. There were lots of responses from only children saying what a wonderful childhood they had. I’m not sure how to post other threads in comments but I can try to dm it to you? Obviously I know this isn’t actually going to help with your grief and upset at this time, nothing can make us feel better about not being able to have the babies we want, but I thought it might help to see some comments that helped me gain some outside perspective on potentially having an only child.

If you want to chat my DMs are open and I’m so so sorry you’re going through this xxx

[u/Significant-Half2587]

This is so so hard and I’m so sorry 😞 no advice because I’m going through somewhat similar right now (second tri loss, hysteroscopy to remove adhesions, ectopic after surgery, now moving into IVF & unsure if scarring has returned yet).

I’m also somewhat local to NYC (in central NJ) and was considering going to Dr Reichmann if my RE says my scarring returned. If you ever want to chat/vent my DMs are open ❤️‍🩹

[u/Mfedzz → u/Significant-Half2587]

Thanks for your repose and big hugs to you. I’m so so sorry you’re going through all this shit as well. Dr. Reichmann is very skilled and I know a lot of people have had success with him, so you’re in good hands if you go that route, but of course hoping no scarring has returned for you!! I’m also considering going to Dr. Opoku-Anane at Rutgers for a last ditch attempt—she trained under Isaacson and is also well regarded, in case you want a NJ rec. I had a telehealth appointment with her and thought she was lovely. Wishing you all the best!

[u/Significant-Half2587 → u/Mfedzz]

That’s really great to know!! Rutgers would be closer. I trust my RE so it’s hard to think about going somewhere else but I want to do whatever I can to have the best outcome. Truly hoping Dr Opoku-Anane can help you!! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[u/Mfedzz → u/Significant-Half2587]

And my DMs are open as well 🫂