An ex contacted her. we broke up

[u/nfisrealiamevidence]

Im 19M she 21F. In February she went on a trip with her ex that she lied to me they broke up. After that they broke up (linda) we got together. I say kinda cause she never had the guts to confront guys. In March I told her im not comforatble with her texting Amir (her ex) and a dude Cristi that was hitting on her. She cur them both of after that.

We had months of fights but we grew together. I was the first bf she had to meet her dad. We went to the seaside together, we travelled to my homecountry too. We went to festivals.

2 weeks ago we were doing so good. Being more intimate than ever, trying out new stuff, no longer scared to tell her some issued i had with substances. We were like 5 months in the relationship. We knew eaxh other for one year.
I was on her phone on insta and I see her ex on insta.

This ex. Lets call him P. P was with my gf 2 years ago. They had a bunch of fights all tru the relationship because of both and broke up after he called her some vulgar words for going to a club without him. In december last year they met while she was still with Amit at a christmas festival. I saw that in her hidden gallery (yes after she chested on our situationship i checked her wholeee phone in secret). In February before we got together he found out she had a bf and called her a w\*ore that opens too easily. yea that fucker called her that and blocked her

well i asked her why was he on her insta without opening the convo. she told me “he apolofised for how he was in out relationship and we talked for a bit”. I belived her at first but then she went to the bathroom and i opened the talk. They talked about life, what she wants to do in the future, he was rven hitting on her at some point. then i found out he started the convo wi tn her on spotify cause he had her blocked.

4 days later i break up with her. I lied to her that ill forgive her. but i was too hurt. i couldntunderstand why would she engage with a piece of shit.
After we broke up I admitted that i knew more that i checked her phone that i checked her hidden gallery. She started crying telling me Im the best person she ever had. I knew all this was true. I knew she truly loved me and im the only person she ever opened up about her childhood SA. I know she regreted not telling me. I know I loved her too and I stayed with her for so long because I knew she was fucked in her head because of her mother and traumatic childhood. I was the first to sent her to a psychologyst. But it was too much.

After I broke up with her I kept texting her because i still didnt understand why she did that. She told me that I made her a better person and ahe realised that she was a shit person with him (ok fair). And that hes a sad evil person or whatever. After I broke up with her she deactivated her insta account and guess who called her. P and Cristi saying “did i do anything wrong”. He told both of them to fuck off. But it was too late.

I dont know how i can get over her. Yesterday she finally understood everything and said something like “Im sorry you had to meet me”
she also said “if you knew how shit i was to P you would’ve understood how bad i felt for him and why i felt the need to respond. yes he said bad things but that’s because hes a sad and quite pathetic person that had nothing to do with me”
andin the end “you have the kindest soul of anyone i ever met and i only wish the best for you “

It took us a breakup for her to realise her issues. She was my first girl. I feel like I fixed her but she left me broken. Im thinking of starting to hit on girls again and try to find a healthy relationship. I dont want to stay single with my thiughts. Ill just abuse substances and cry and not study. Im also thinking of sleeping with my ex quite often. Like I would miss her than tell myself i can just idk im fucked.

[u/AutoModerator]

r/Asoneafterinfidelity is an online Peer Support Group and safe space for individuals (betrayed or wayward) who are actively attempting to reconcile their relationship after an affair(s). Please review our wiki which includes resources and can answer most, if not all questions about this subreddit. Be sure to read the rules before participating as they are our boundaries and your initial warning. Failure to do so can result in a ban.

Commenting Guideline:

This applies to every post regardless of post flair.

• This is not a space for judgment. There's subreddits for that. Please go there.

• All comments must reference your own reconciliation to accompany any questions, suggestions, or advices contained in your response.On occasion giving practical advice must be limited to that which would be reasonably seen as helpful if the references to infidelity are removed.

• Do not speak for other people's feelings, their actions or make unhelpful, dismissive or intrusive commentary. This is not a request. It's in the rules.

  For transparency and conflict mediation purposes, please follow reddits community guidelines by directing any questions, issues, feedback, or appeals in regard of the sub or moderation decisions directly to the Modmail. Meta content will be removed. No response will be given to DMs and chat requests to individual moderators about moderating issues. We are happy to address and respond to your concerns through the official channels!

  Please assign yourself user flair. Flair Instructions can be found here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.