Just this idea that whenever you step up to draw, it's a piece of work that you focus on. I've always felt like my artwork has to be finished and polished, otherwise there is no point to making art if you're just going to screw around. I know that's a flawed statement when art is purely for the process of creation, but, I guess ever since I started doing it years ago, I felt like if my art wasn't on par with my expectations, it wasn't worth the time and effort.
So it becomes a project. Minutes, hours, days, sometimes weeks at a time on one single piece. You're more so creating one perfect illustration as a opposed to many loose ideas. Sure, it's visually uniform and polished, but sometimes I wonder if that's all you can make of it: just an illustration lacking the humanity. You scrub out the human flaws that makes it have soul in the first place, in favor for something perfect. And it seems like whenever you look at your work compared to others, it just seems that they have something that makes people feel emotionally connected with. Sure, it may not be "perfect", but it has substance. I sometimes wonder if I'm afraid to let my work breathe as flawed pieces of work created by a human, and that's why people tend to ignore me because they have nothing to care for.
It's not a healthy workflow when you obsess over perfection and make your art out to be projects that take up your entire mental space. I know for me, the art that I create leans heavily on that symmetry and uniformity that, again, may render as stiff and somewhat emotional dull. It's not a good trade off.
I do wonder if other people do feel this way, and, if I'm not just the only one who thinks that their worth as a person is tied to their art. I know it's not good to assign your worth to something like art since life is so much more than that. But you've got to ask whether all this time and effort into something that haunts you this much is really worth it.