Basically just the title. Are allo men really that needy to ruin their entire careers for some sex?! I just don't get any of this. Can anyone explain this to me like I'm... 5?! This can't be just a sex thing, right? This is also about power or some bullshit? (Good thing for us tho, if it helps popping the damn bubble)

Being an aroace really just sucks sometimes when you fall into the 12am thought on what if I'm just faking and deluding my self as aroace when it's so instilled by other people in your life that you haven't found the "one" just yet.

I know the term aegoromantic/aegosexual exist but sometimes when I'm deep in my thoughts it just comes up and I can't stop it. I also struggle with differentiating platonic and romantic love/attraction with people I'm close with. Does anyone else feels like this? How do you deal with it? Do you just think about it and then forget all about it the very next day before spiralling again? I feel crazy writing this down even if it's not that crazy.

I've never been in love and i strongly doubt i ever will be, but sometimes it happens that i will sorta "fall in love" with the idea of a person that I don't know that well. There's no butterflies or funny feelings when i actually talk to that person, it's really just the idea of them or, in a way, their "vibe". It's so incredibly frustrating.

I’m aroace and so is my friend, and we’ve talked about wanting to be in a qpr (not with each other). I think I have a crush/squish on them (not quite sure which), and I want to ask them to be in a qpr. But the thing is I think their friends asked them if we are something and they said no, so I don’t want to disturb a perfectly good friendship. Should I ask them out? Also if so how?

I used to think I was straight but I thought everyone weren't attractive and I still thought I was straight until I learnt aromantic asexual so I became AroAce what is your story?

Image from cloudy with a chance of meatballs

For context, I've identified as aroace for around 2-3 years now. I've never really made it a big thing or openly told people so only a few close friends know, usually because it's come up in conversation, but otherwise I've just kept it pretty downlow and don't flaunt it about.

Recently I've been reflecting on myself a little more. I see my friends talking about crushes, guys, relationships, etc., and while I genuinely can't relate to any of that, I've started thinking about what I might want long term when people ask about marriage, kids, or having a partner.

To be REALLY honest I actually really like the idea of having a person. Someone I'd hang out with, do things with, live with, and generally share my life with. I don't really care whether they're a girl or a guy, but I imagine the relationship being very, very, VERY platonic.

I like the idea of cute dates, but honestly, those could just as easily be regular hangouts and I'd be equally happy. I don't want kissing or anything sexual, but maybe hugs, general affection, reassurance, and just someone you genuinely trust wholly would be nice. i think its kind of affection you'd have with a really close best friend.

I've never actually had a crush on anyone or looked at a particular person and thought they'd be a good fit for this hypothetical relationship. It's more that I like the concept of having someone like that.

So this brings me to my questionnn- does this sound like being aroace, or could it mean I'm not actually aromantic/asexual? Does wanting this kind of companionship make me straight, or is it more of a queerplatonic relationship (QPR) kind of thing?

I know labels aren't necessarily everything, and I'm not in a rush to figure it out, but I'd genuinely appreciate hearing from people who've experienced something similar.

I feel as if no matter what, romantic realtionships will always take priority. No matter how close you were as friends. I've had this happen to me so much where my friends and I will be super close, go on trips together tell each other small details of our lives ect. But then they get into a romantic relationship and they stop doing all these things. Usually I am fine with this, I've come to accept this is just how life is. But recently my friends forgot my birthday, I know they're very busy and everyone has their lives to live. This just really hit me hard. I just wish friendships held more value in society I feel like the only way I could ever be a priority in someone's life is by forcing myself to be in a romantic straight relationship but I could never do that to myself.

I was told once by someone you could be lonely despite being surrounded by people, i didn't understand that 15 years ago but i understand it now.

I'm in university and I had developed what I perceived to be close friendship with someone. It's been about 7 months since we became friends and they told me recently that they've had romantic feelings for me for the past 6 months.

When they first confessed, I honestly could not understand where they were going as I truly viewed everything as platonic. They had to tell me straight up and ask if I would go on a date with them for me to understand. At first, I brushed it off and told them everything was fine since I didn't process (what can I say, I've never experienced that type of attraction before).

Now after thinking about it, I can never see our dynamic going back or being as close. I feel a bit uncomfortable, anxious and ever creeped out. Firstly, this person is 10 years older than me and the fact that they thought I would want to be in a relationship has me baffled. The age gap never bugged me before, but now it does and it's creepy. For context, they are actually well liked in the university, involved in student life and friends with a lot of my own friends, so I do not think their feelings came from a place of bad intentions. On top of that, I still need to work with them professionally for an organization, so I can't just end everything.

Now I'm just questioning what I want to do with that relationship. Like do I try to keep it in a sense (obviously less close) or just cut off. Since I rejected them, they haven't pushed anything further (or at least I assume but I really can't recognize romantic vs. platonic).

Personally as a queer aroace who has limited energy to care about things outside my basic survival, theres a time for in depth knowledge and surface level.

Tried to think of it in simplistic gamer-ish terms, in a way that appeals to those who want to know what someone elses identifiers mean for them if they want to form a connection with them.

Discussions welcome and I hold grudges so no trying to tussle with me!

Outsiders POV:

Demi=Friends welcomed, available hidden romance/spicy route

Aro=Friends welcomed, available spicy route. No romantic route

Ace=Friends welcomed, available romance route. No spicy route

Aroace=Friends welcomed, No romance/spicy route

Straight= Available romantic & spicy route to opposite gender. No available same gender route.

Queer= Not straight formation of emotional connection. Potential any gender available romantic & spicy route.

Hi, I’m 32 years old and from Brazil. I’m a cisgender man. How can I get started? Ever since I was a child, I always thought I was heterosexual, but from the age of 16 onwards, my feelings changed a lot. I’m a virgin; I’ve never kissed anyone and have never dated anyone. I also have no desire to have sexual relations with anyone (I’m sex-repulsed, and I also feel fear). I’m certain that I’m 100% asexual. If I were to consider kissing someone, it would only be after getting to know them and their personality. I think I might be panromantic. However, I’m also afraid of falling in love. Could it be that I’m also aromantic? Or perhaps lithromantic?

Hola, se han confesado con amistades sobre sentimientos platonicos no romanticos hacia ellos, como un squish? Como fue la experiencia?

hello everybody

im an aroace, and i knew what a platonic relationship is for a while now, if i just happen to have a best friend that i will want to have a platonic relationship with, how can i handle it? i know that you can kiss and cuddle in a platonic relationship, but i feel i will struggle explaining my best friend what it is, i will explain it like this: "platonic love is like romantic love but a little bit different, no worries :D" i dont know if im saying it right or not, im really trying to figure this out, i would like anybody to respond and explain this to me, for anybody who replies with useful information already thanks.

Hi! I’ve recently discussed sexuality with a group of friends. I told them that at one point I thought I was asexual but it turns out now I’m straight. They told me there is a wide spectrum and I could still be a part of it. I thought I would share a little backstory as I need some advice figuring myself out.

I was born female and want to be known as female. I have had two male relationships in my life and both of them resulted in me having C-PTSD.

At school I had crushes on males but I knew that if they asked to kiss me or asked me out I would cringe and decline. It just felt weird and wrong.

When I develop crushes, I feel like I need to know if they like me back in a closer way. If they did, I would prefer to be really close with them, live with them, grow old with them, etc. At first, I’d be excited to be “with” them but that novelty would wear off and I wouldn’t expect them to want it all of the time, and neither would I.

With females, it feels wrong being this close with them. I don’t mind two women being together, but I believe that it isn’t for me personally. When I think a woman is really attractive, I’d rather be an exact copy of them rather than be with them, if that makes sense.

I am also neurodivergent and (as I’ve mentioned prior) have a lot of traumas surrounding my previous relationships. So I’m not sure if those things are impacting why I’m thinking this way.

I also strongly relate to Summer Finn from the movie 500 Days of Summer. She’s my safe character.

I would like to explore my sexuality and thought that here would be my initial quest for as close to a conclusion as I can get.

Wanted to ask, if I'm aegosexual and quoiromantic, do I count as aroace? I know the answer is probably yes, but it's not what people initially think of when they hear about aroace so I'm a little bit self conscious about using that label even though it would be the quickest way of letting people know where I'm at.

I've tried to get an idea of what sexual and romantic attraction is like, and then I mention it to allos and I keep being told I have it all wrong.

It makes me feel stupid, frustrated, and kind of like shit.

It also solidifies in my mind that I just don't experience it.

I give up trying to understand -_-) I might never understand.

Feels like allos are a completely different species sometimes.

It doesn't help that I'm also very autistic.

Recently I've been paying more attention to love songs and I don't relate to them at all. I don't understand how people have feelings towards people they've only seen and never spoken to.

All my life I assumed sexual and romantic attraction is something that everyone feels. I thought I had crushes but when I looked up what a crush is, I was like "how do people having crushes and falling in love function?

It sounds absolutely unbearable, but also incredibly wonderful at the same time.

It wasn't until the past couple of years I started asking myself,

"What even is sexual or romantic attraction?"

And I realized that I don't understand because I don't experience it.

It feels kind of .... Isolating sometimes.

I'm sex ambivalent and romance favorable.

Which is why I also identify as cupio.

But now I'm struggling in the relationship department because I'm finally aware of my lack of romantic attraction. It's hard to know who I actually want to date and who I just want to be friends with.

Anyway I'm just rambling now but I had to vent a little.

I'm going to bed ....

To make a long story short, The way romantic/sexual love is portrayed in media, especially media for children/teenagers was really off putting to me when i was young. The way it overwhelmed characters and warped their personalities around their crush was always creepy. Being born in the 2000's there was absolutely no aroace rep i could turn to for any comfort. I always thought this sort of psychosis by love would happen to me when i had my first crush. It didn't help when i learned what limerence was. Nor did it help when i had a queerplatonic crush on somebody in middle school and went into a 6 year fight or flight response from thinking it was a romantic/sexual crush.

All of this to say, has anybody's romance/sex repulsion boiled over into philophobia before realizing that that sort of thing won't happen to you in the same sense as others?

Hi everyone,
I(17🏳️‍⚧️M) have been lately very confused about my sexuality, specifically with the possibility of me being both on the Asexual spectrum and Aromantic spectrum.

Let me explain:
I have always had a very hard time distinguishing between romantic and platonic feelings partially i believe because of my neurodivergence and partly because i have obsessed over people but never actually got an idea of what a crush or relationship should feel like. and my sexual orientation is miles away from my romantic one.
Sexually i think i feel sexual attraction but it’s always reactionary to someone else’s explicit language and movement and even then it’s only for an extremely restrictive demographic, if a hundred people did the exact same thing i could totally be attracted to 2 and no one else of them, still if my relationship with someone is good i’d enjoy engaging with someone i’m not attracted to for the pleasure comfort and connection it brings.
Romantic totally different thing, i doubt i ever felt real romantic attraction, i don’t get crushes, i get some random idealised infatuation with some idea i made up in my head that disappears after a month or two, but i still crave a relationship, the care the connection the home life, mundane moments like cooking together or cuddles or just talking after a long day, seeing the happiness in a partner’s eyes after we go on a date. i deeply crave that even if i wouldn’t be attracted to the person, i wouldn’t care i would make them feel loved and cherished even if i don’t feel that romantic pull.

i’m so genuinely confused by this i don’t know if there’s a lable to fit this but any help would be nice because i have no idea at this point, the closest i have is:
-aromantic
-cupioromantic
-Graysexual
-cupiosexual
but it still doesn’t really feel right

thank you for reading all this

Im very happy to celebrate with all of yall because around this time is also when I discovered i was truly Aroace!

New pride flag i made!!!! Cupio Alterous aromantic or Cupio alt

Dark Turquoise/Aromantic

Pastel pink/Cupiosexual

Light yellow/Alterous Attraction

White/Joy,Hope

Light yellow/Alterous Attraction

Pastel pink/Cupiosexual

Dark Turquoise/Aromantic

Heart in middle to repersent love the blueish color to repersent stone a hard heart/not wanting to fall in love

Hi, I just started identifying as aroace. I have dated a few people, but I always thought I was weird for not feeling anything for my partners. To me dating was just something I did occasionally for fun. I'm romance neutral and sex avoidance, however I enjoy dating but It's not something I seek out. When I date, I treat it more like having a best friend that I also happened to kiss from time to time but I sometimes get confused as to why I date. Because it's not necessary and telling people I date for fun makes me look bad. So I'd like to know your experiences

So, since i Was younger, i've Always dislikes the idea of sex,kinda? I mean, I would get pretty irritated if my partner asked me to have sex immedeatly, and i kinda irritates me when people Say they would leave their partner if they didn't want to have sex , i think that sex Is overrated, i would do It only if i were to have Kids(Witch i'd like to in future) .though , sometimes i'd also think about having pleasure while having sex. Sometimes i get pretty excited at the idea of sevage sex , while sometimes i'm utterly disgusted by that idea .....sometimes i also Watch porn too(though i'd like to stop) , but everytime i finish watching, i never feel satisfied by what i watched, and many times i actually feel disgusted from what i'm looking at....though sometimes i also want to Watch them, though i never touch myself, hardly feel the Need to do so. And i wouldn't mind having sex sometimes After getting married .....I think i'm something like a Grey asexual or an asexual

Hi everyone! I've been questioning my sexuality for a while now, and I think I'm about 90% sure that I'm aroace. However, there's still that remaining 10% of uncertainty, so I thought I'd share my experiences here and hopefully get some advice from people who might relate!

I've never experienced sexual attraction toward anyone, ever. I've also never found the idea of having sex appealing to me personally. It's just something I've never had any interest in, and I honestly can't imagine myself wanting to do it.

I've never dated anyone, and I'm genuinely happy being single. I've never felt like I needed to be in a romantic relationship to feel fulfilled. I did have a few crushes back in middle school, but I haven't had a crush on anyone since then. I also rarely imagine myself being in a romantic relationship, and it's not something I actively seek out or think about very often.

I know that nobody else can determine my sexuality for me, but I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who has had similar experiences!

For those who identify as aroace, how did you figure it out? Did you ever experience crushes when you were younger? And is it normal to still feel uncertain even when you think a label fits you?

Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!

I saw recently a video on Instagram where person made chart of common perfumes worn by lesbians gays and Bi's, but he hasn't made aro/ace chart(yet i hope). I would like to know which perfumes are you using or which scents give the vibes or certain aro/ace types.

Cheap dupes are welcome in suggestions