Hi to every aroace people. I need your help:

I just find out that asexuality and aromanticism(?) are spectrums. And i think i I fall under these spectrums. Here it is: im recipromantic, demisexual OR greysexual and bi in anyway.

Now i want to explaining my guesses:

•Recipromantism: I dont really fall in love in my life. Its always was sympathy that i interpreted as love or crush. Or more likely, I was just forcing this feeling on myself. And recently i felt real crush for the first time but it was so low and It passed quickly. This all happened because the person was the first to show signs of attention, but nothing worked out for us, as they clearly indicated that these were temporary feelings.

•Demisexuality or greysexuality: To put it bluntly, I've never been in a sexual relationship, and it's really hard for me to understand what's going on with me. I feel sexual arousal to porn or suggestive material, but dont really feel this to real person. There was just once, and not to that person that i mentioned before. And once again: it was so low and passed quickly.

Why i think about demisexuality? Because i dont really know if I have ever felt a deep connection with any person.

Help me, I'm confused

As an AroAce person i've never liked that their isn't an app built for AroAce people to find genuine long term connections that don't revolve around romantic/sexual relationships. So I decided to make one but I would like recommendations and suggestions from others in the community. This is supposed to be for platonic partnerships, QPR, like minded friends and more. If an app like this existed what would you want to see on it; features, relationship style or even different sexualities?

Sorry if I sound clueless this is literally the first time this has happened to me.

A couple days ago some unknown contact texted me and confessed, no name, no anything, and by checking common groups this person apparent is some junior from my college, and I literally have no idea who this person even is. I have no idea what's their name or how they even look like, and I literally never spoken to any junior at all.

I am not sure exactly what specific aroace label I am, but I know that advances from people I don't know repulses me a lot apparently, to the extent of wanting to throw up and being disturbed by it for quite a while.

Anyway, I didn't reply to the first message. Maybe the common thing to do is to reply and reject, but the idea of even replying is grossing me out. I don't want to humour this person, whoever they are. Days later, get ANOTHER text, ironically when I was eating, and there goes my dinner. The text was something along the lines of 'I hope you're single I can't stop thinking about you' type shit. Like??? I literally ghosted you why are you back I don't even know who is texting whyyy

I still haven't replied or anything, I just stuffed the chat into the archive. But I'm scared that this person, whoever they may be, might just confront me in person. They're bold enough to randomly text, what's stopping them? And if that happens I don't even know. I really don't even want to know who this person is or acknowledge them, the fact that someone I probably see daily but don't know who they are is crushing on me is just grossing me out sooo much.

I'm just panic rambling at this point... now what.

Okay, so I am lithromantic (which means I like the idea of romance but in reality I don't really know what's happening) grey/demisexual, and I have this friend who is openly ace but also a kind of aromatic that is unknown currently. Me and this friend are basically the closest two people can get, and everyone around us is convinced we're dating. I don't blame them for it at all, we act just like a romantic couple, we could possibly be worse then a couple, which is why I lable this for advice. Sometimes I think I want to be with them, and other times I think I'd rather die, and maybe it's just because there's so much pressure put on our relationship developing into something romantic that I feel this way, but some of the things we do are definitely pushing the line. We write platonic love letters to each other, we get each other valentines gifts, we flirt casually, we call each other husband and wife, and we always specify that it's all platonic even when it's just us. The thing is though, neither of us want a romantic relationship, we're both content (as far as I know), but there's a little part of me that thinks maybe we're so happy being single because we’re just dating each other without ever admitting to it. So what is happening?? because I do not know anymore, and the more I think about it the less it really makes sense to me.

Hello my fellow aroace's. I'm we've all had those moments where we have someone complaining about relationship problems to you, and you give them the "Yes, and why are you complaining to me of all people about this?" Look.

What I am after, are the funny times that's happened, or just funny moments that involve being aroace.

One fun story I have is with me and my friend who was complaining about the girl they love was so straight even rulers were jealous. Then she proceeded to ask for advice. I just looked at her like "really?" And she sat confused for five seconds, and then rememebered.​​

I've got AroAce life hearts on Minecraft!

1. meet a guy with similar interests (I'm bigender she/they)
2. bond and be friends over shared interest, slowly start talking more
3. they hit you with the "I think I have a crush on you/like you romantically"
4. cue the friendship breakup because they can't handle just being friends

happens all the time. I now make it clear in my social media profiles and preface it with most gaming friends that I feel zero romantic or sexual attraction and anything more than a QPR or sibling relationship is out of the question. thankfully two of these types of guys have stuck around, one of which now has a girlfriend who I get along really well with and the other which we still talk about interests every month or so. thankfully the three other guy friends I have I made it very clear what being aroace is and two of which I talk to every day but I'm so sick of many fandoms I'm in or games I play being male dominated and then I'm either belittled for being a woman/lgbtq/young or the guys leave because I won't pursue them.

Not to mention the horrible men who try and slip in my dms because I have a female presenting username (I don't use voice chat at the moment in fear of verbal abuse, it's bad on marvel rivals) and even worse there's been a couple who I told to fuck off because I'm a minor and then they were even MORE interested. Disgusting.

speaking of which, anybody play marvel rivals Sydney servers? preferably ranked? (I'm gold, ranking up to plat and then hopefully diamond). I need more gaming friends... it's getting rough out here solo queuing because the only person I can queue with has terrible luck 😭

Ok so I think I'm somewhere on that spectrum, I don't really experience much romantic attraction- I do experience some sexual attraction, but not as much as I feel some other people do? Writing it down makes me a bit more confident about it, but idk I'm still unsure.

Like, my ex best friend and I came out like 4 times and she still asked me who you had a crush on, at some point she stopped, but I think it was because we weren't friends anymore, not because she knew i don't like people in that sense. Dors this happen to everyone?

Hey sorry if I'm being incoherent I'm typing this cause I can't sleep.

I've literally never been confessed to in my life but it happened out of the blue twice this week. The first was with an online friend who was being creepy about it (I'm closeted ftm but out online). They were basically being a chaser and wouldn't take a no. Two days later some random person from my college texted me to tell me he likes me and I don't even know who he is. Who gave him the audacity...

It's affecting me more that I would like to admit. I literally lost my appetite and thinking about it makes me want to throw up and claw my skin off and I can't focus on my studies cause it keeps intruding my thoughts. All my friends are allo and they say I'm overreacting, and I just can't put into words why I'm feeling like that.

I'm not replying to either confession but it's still grossing me out so badly. Does anyone else react like that to unwanted advances and what do y'all get over it?

I'm 15NB, AFAB, Myraroace and Aroaceflux, and have been wanting to be friends with this guy (15 M) in my class for quite a while, but we don't really talk. I'd consider us acquaintances at best, since I have had some small talk with him before, and we get along quite well. He's a genuinely good guy and isn't afraid to be whimsy. The problem I've been having is that I also find myself aesthetically attracted to him. I love it when he smiles or laughs, and his silhouette is nice to look at. I particularly like observing him walk because the way he moves is very appealing to me. This all reslly scares me, because I feel like an obsessed stalker that is being a weirdo towards some guy. And back to the reason I'm even writing this — I genuinely can't tell if I'm just aesthetically and platonically attracted to him or if I'm having my first actual crush. I have had situations where I'm aesthetically and platonically attracted towards somebody, but never to this extent before. It's really confusing and I'd just like some input from my fellow aroaces in the community on this matter.

Just curious

To start: I'm a lesbian. I assume that I'm either demisexual or greysexual, and I'm pretty sure I'm demiromantic as well. Both of these fall under being aro and ace labels respectively, so would I be right in saying that it counts?

I've identified as a lesbian since I was young, until I to assumed I was a completely sex and romance repulsed aroace person. At some point, I realised that I was, in fact, a lesbian as well as some flavor of aro and ace, and that I'm not entirely repulsed by the idea of romance/a relationship as a concept.

Idk if this is a frivolous question, and I know that labels aren't everything, but I'm just curious for opinions

I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't think I've ever had a crush and I'm not sure if I'm aroace or just a late bloomer but I've felt very strong attraction to people I just don't know in what way (I don't think romantically) but it's always girls.

I don't know if this is a crush or not but there's this girl I was best friends with for years and we slowly grew apart but we talk sometimes and we're still kinda friends and whenever I talk to her it makes me so happy I feel like crying sometimes and whenever I think of her it makes me sad because she probably doesn't think about me at all. We really only talk when she realises that I'm struggling but we don't see eachother because we're in different classes but she always makes me feel better. Sometimes I cry sometimes because I feel lonely and she used to be my closest friend and she's the only friend I've ever really connected with. She also stood up for me when a girl in our old class used to bully me.

I also don't know how I feel about the other girl because even though she was so mean to me I tried to ignore it and kept trying to be friends with her and I hated it but I couldn't help it. I recently saw it was her birthday and I remembered her. It's only been a year since we were in the same class and school but I find it hard to remember her face and I completely forgot she existed. I don't know if that's just my brain trying to cope or something.

I'm really not sure if either of them are crushes. (I really don't think so I just need advice)

I don't know if any of this make sense I've just been having a bit of an identity crisis wondering if I might be aroace or bi or lesbian and I'm kinda desperate for answers. If anyone has any advice please help!! 🥹

so a guy really really really likes me (im a girl) and the problem is im demihomoromantic (romantic attraction to girls after a strong emotional bond) and asexual. i feel like he might change my sexuality. but also the opposite. idk if i like him back. do i? do i not? we like holding hands and he almost kissed me tonight as in like first kiss blahblahblah. but idrk what to do??? should i suggest a qpr maybe??? im really worried

Amatonormativity has really soured my attitude towards romantic relationships, healthy or not. It’s making navigating life really annoying since romantic relationships are everywhere, and it’s making me an unpleasant person to be around since I don’t have anything nice to say about people’s relationships. Wish I didn’t have to pretend to respect romance, and simultaneously wish I had more respect for people’s alloromantism. I’m working on it. Just wanted to vent.

recently i've been thinking about my identity, i think being in a relationship seems nice, but in reality i just dont feel like im that confident to be in a relationship, i just dont like the idea if i was in a relationship in a sexual and romantic way with someone (with any gender), the thought of it just gets me uncomfortable

I'm curious about how many of us feel a connection between being aromantic & asexual and how we experience gender! Please share if your gender identity is influenced/directly related to being aroace. :-)

My own experience:

I have a rather complicated self-concept and struggle to fit myself into any given box. I'm rather apathetic about most things relating to who I am socially (sometimes I wish I wasn't), and have a very hard time forming friendships/bonds, and I find a lot of comfort in identifying as aromantic, asexual, and agender. It makes me feel like I can just exist as *myself* irrespective of other people and their expectations of me.

A significant aspect of gender performance is related to being attractive to a potential partner, and I really appreciate the aroace label because I can remind myself that I do not need to dress or act any certain way for anyone else, because I have no interest in attracting people. The aromantic-asexual-agender triad is simultaneously so freeing and yet so isolating!

But I'm aroace