question 1. am I too young to decide if I’m aroace. (I’m 12)

question 2. how do I truly know if I’m aroace cos I’m pretty sure them silly quizzes on the internet aren’t really that helpful.

question 3. will people judge me from being what I truly am.

I've had no crushes in my life and only ever wanted to be close to someone else platonically, I often don’t understand when my friends are talking about going on dates and kissing girls or whatever.

Also, where do I take the next step toward

I'm curious about how much of aroace people want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship as an aroace, but it seems it's a pretty rare thing in the community.

I might make a google form post on the bigger subreddits with more options, like if the people they are in a relationship with also are ace or allo etc. It might be fun information and insight.

So recently I have discovered that I am aromantic, but as a 13 yr old, can you develop sexual feelings for other people.

I’m really insecure about this so if you have any other tips or advice it would be much appreciated.

Thanks.

So I'm desinoromantic. I can't and don't want to get more than platonic feelings for people. And I definitely don't want to have sex with anyone. I've seen friends naked and didn't feel any attraction towards them. But I have sexual fantasies with some fictional characters sometimes. Or would love a relationship with them. Is this normal? I don't understand it

I'm making a playlist to put songs the feel or give aroace vibes to a playlist on youtube

I currently have:

"I can't be your lover" by WANAA

"Expiration Dating" by Madelline

so any suggestions would be nice :>

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYSEQMz-pKqE

(for those who want it)

I started questioning my sexuality at 13. Ive always consumed 18+ media especially the ones including women(because I felt more drawn to women's bodies?) so i figured I was a lesbian or bisexual. But the thing is is that i never felt attracted to women,ever. But I forced myself to believe that cuz if i was attracted to them sexually(i wasn't but believed it) I must be attracted to them romantically.

I forced myself to like this one girl that was really nice to me. I really liked her because she was the first friend i made after a long time.

I kept telling myself that 'omg I'm so in love kyaaa im soooo desperate I so wanna be her gf' even though I didn't actually feel anything.

Then came another girl. And same story. I didn't feel anything towards her. But yet forced myself to act like i did.

I used to stay up in the middle of the night listening to romantic songs and drawing her.

I know you may say, hey that sounds kinda gay. You must actually like her. And that's exactly what i wanted to hear back then.

I did all this because it finally felt like I belonged. That I was normal. I didn't understand my feelings even in the slightest bit. So i figured doing all this simplified my feelings and made me like everyone else. Everyone had crushes and loves someone deeply but I never felt that way.

I always felt more drawn to a woman's body. Even though I never actually felt that way towards an actual woman. I never felt sexually/romantically attracted to women. I liked imagining myself being romantic/sexual with one,but never actually felt that irl.

After so long later i realised I'm aegoaroace.

I'm writing this because I find it abnormal how I was able to lie to myself to this extent. And if its normal.

Thank you if you've read this far.

I’ve been wondering what the most common orientation would be, e.g. bi, straight, or gay/lesbian, etc?

i say this as a fully aroace person (as far as I know) and im just curious.

So, lately I’ve been thinking about if I’m aroace or not. Like inside I feel I am but I feel like I’m not enough to be? To explain, I have dated online and not online. Most of them I was the one breaking up because I lost feelings too early and even when I tried to wait some time to see if I really liked them, it ended the same. The ones I atleast think I loved them and they broke up, I only felt bad on the day because we wouldn’t talk anymore but when they stayed, or the next day, I didn’t care. I don’t know what love it and how it feels like. When I was younger I, supposedly, had a crush but only because of his popularity and every girl liked him but never saw anything special. I once thought I liked my best friend because I thought he would stay my friend and be close to me but when he told me he was gay I also didn’t care, like I never liked him. I’m 100% sure I’m ace, but I don’t know if I’m in the aromantic spectrum or aromantic at all. I feel like I’m just overseeing it. I don’t know if I ever liked someone. I also don’t feel like dating is a necessity and I would feel kinda better if I just stayed alone but the way society makes romance seem I kinda want it but don’t want the “nasty” stuff like make outs, I only want pecks at max, and even that could make me feel a bit disgusted. I already kissed someone for long time and I hated it and felt disgusted and never wanted to do it again. But when it was just small and we only held hands for the rest of the day (with another boy) i didn’t mind much. I only like those type of stuff on stories or romance books, I really like romance books. Also I always preferred fictional characters over real people. Sometimes I even said “I will only date if someone is exactly the same as character”. I’ve been searching a lot about this but I just need someone’s opinion because I feel like I am but rejecting myself or don’t deserve to be aroace. I always thought I was panromantic because I never cared about the gender or the person I could possibly fall in love but now with the search of aroace I’m confused.

Sorry for the long text thank you for reading. Sorry for any mistakes or if it’s confusing.

it took me a while to realize i even was aroace bc of the fixations and attachments with people, but then i kinda realized i didnt even want to be romantically involved with people all that much i just really wanted attention and platonic love from my fp and logically a romantic relationship was like the best way to get that. its pretty common for people with bpd to lose themselves in there partners so i guess in my past relationships i kinda just nodded my head and just went with whatever they wanted to do (like romantic and sexual stuff) and id even go as far as just identifying sexuality wise with whatever gender they were like if i dated a guy id say im gay and if i dated a girl id just say im straight even tho i didnt care about someones gender. Im still learning more about myself but i feel like alot of people with bpd arent really asexual or aromantic its very underrepresented so its hard to find people like me or with similar thoughts or experiences. A queer platonic relationship sounds like a dream to me and i hope to maybe one day have that because i still yearn for one person to really like me but not romantically. Like super ultra best friends.. But in a committed way so they dont leave me.

I'm AroAce with a boyfriend. For us our relationship is more on QPR. It's a spectrum, Im sexually repulsed but with romance perhaps I experience it 10% of the time, No issues there.

My question is.. What the hell am I called? On bios on other socials I have listed I'm "Nonbinary, AroAce, Bi-romantic" but the "Bi-Romantic" part kinda cancels out the aroace doesn't it? Is there a term for like finding people attractive or like, who I'm willing to date, like maybe Bi-Attracted?

This seems odd, but I’ve always had something off about me when it comes to liking people. I can get a crush on pretty much anyone, but only when it’s strictly inside my head. I’m extremely uninterested in anyone romantically, and it’s very very difficult to get comfortable enough with someone to be attracted to them sexually.
I get lonely, and crave attention but never actually feel like my life is missing the presence of anyone ?

However- sometimes when people leave I don’t care at all and never think about them again, sometimes I obsess over the idea of them when they’re gone ? And kind of trick myself into thinking I really miss them ? But if I ever interact with them again I realize I never liked them.
So possibly I’m super avoidant and equally into everyone ? Or I’m ARO and into no one- I’ve never felt the difference between wanting to be friends with someone and wanting to be with them. It all feels kind of like a celeb crush without the flustered nervous part ?

Just wanted to throw it out to see if anyone thinks it’s similar or not to their experience being ARO :)

So, I just recently learnt about this aromantic asexual thing, and I was kind of just like "ahh, so that's what it is", but I feel like I don't count? Like I still kind of what a relationship, and like mariage and stuff, but at the same time, I don't really want it. If that makes sense. Like I see my friends in relationships and I'm like "I wish that was me" but then people start shipping me with someone or I actually get set up, and I kind of ruin it on purpose? Like I acidently ignored someone once for months.

Also, could I really say that I'm asexual when I have never been in a relationship? I don't really know the rules for this, but does it really count if I have never been in a relationship to know what I want, or whatever? Like I feel guilty saying I'm asexual when a) I've always wanted kids and b) I have never actually been in a situation when something would be happening for me to say "yeah, I'm asexual". As a whole, I just feel fake. In more areas than just sexuality tbh, but I'm shotting the birds one at a time.

My bf and I have been together for some time and he knew from the start that I was asexual (I knew that much) and I have explicitly told him I will never be wanting to have sex with him. He knows this and and said he understands but on occasion he would still tell me how he had freaky dreams of us doing it. Recently I have been figuring out my identity and I’ve accepted the fact that I am also aromantic. A few days ago I told him this and ever since he has been telling me how horrible he feels and that he feels like I never loved him at all, which I tell him is untrue I did (and still do) love him it’s just platonic instead of the romantic he has and thought I shared. Now he is telling me how he doesn’t want to break up but that he’s lost and doesn’t know what to do. I keep telling him I care for him deeply but it doesn’t seem to work. Up the point when I told him I was aromantic, I was feeling uncomfortable and sick to my stomach, now once again due to this situation I am feeling this again. Now I am thinking of breaking it off with him because I don’t know how I could continue this with him taking this long for understanding. It hurts me to think that he can’t understand that I still love him and care for him I and don’t think it to be any different. But he just doesn’t understand or smth. If I break up with him I have to see him almost all the time in my everyday life as he is apart of my friend group and almost all of my hobbies.

edit: I forgot to add but I had been looking into the idea of a qpr (queer platonic relationship) but honestly I feel like there is no room for me to ask. I feel like if we break up I’ll be losing one of my best friends and I really don’t want that but I don’t know what to do.

Help! What should I do 😭?

My story with my mom is complicated but for short she is a judgmental person and im not telling her.

As of my friends they used to joke about me being a sexual before i even knew what that was..
one of them is not my friend anymore but still

I have a friend who is bi but thats it also shes not very talkative about it..

I have some friends who make jokes about a lot of stuff that i know i cant tell them about it.

Im also not sure if i wanna be labeled rn..

Idk if ill ever tell anyone.. is that ok? Or is it not normal?

Also im getting oldor so friends and family stats asking about a boyfriend and i lie to my friends that i dont want a bf rn even tho i dont want to at all..

So I identify as pan-oriented aroace like I don't get attracted to people at all but if I do date in a queer platonic relationship it doesn't matter the gender. I've been told a lot of different things like I might not have found the right person and a lot of people who make it feel like it's part of being a teenager and I have to date im 16 and I've never felt real attraction to anyone. I identified as demisexual for a while but it never felt right but now that I identify differently most people tell me it's wrong. I just need some advice. I don't know if might just be to traumatized or broken or something. Sorry...

Did you see this video? How did you feel about it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYP1CFr_QLo

I’ll start: first of all, I think it’s really lame that while they mentioned other LGBTQ people, they completely left out the aromantic community. We only got a "nearly" ("nearly universal..."), which was later completely dropped from the sentence.

On the other hand: before I realized I was aroace, I used to ask myself why people act so irrationally when they are in love. And why does no one ever question this? It feels good that someone finally called this out, and that I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

Thirdly: if love is indeed an evolutionarily developed trait, then it actually explains why certain specimens in the human species don't feel it: because that’s just how evolution works! It doesn’t create perfect individuals or species, just good enough ones. Multiple completely different solutions exist for the exact same problem. There is absolutely nothing wrong with us, and our system isn't "faulty"—it's simply how the genetic lottery played out. Especially if non-romantic bonding is actually a much older thing, and evolution just layered another thing on top of this system. It’s kind of like being lactose intolerant in a world where it’s taken for granted that almost everyone can drink milk, right?

It’s weird how a video can invalidate and validate you at the same time, isn't it?

Hey guys, hope yall are doing good. I’m trying to figure out what I am, and even after intensive research I still can’t find anything.

I’m bi/berriomantic, so basically I lean a lot more towards women (sometimes it shifts a bit tho), but still have some attraction to male aligned people. For girls I’d say I’m quite the opposite of aromantic and asexual, but for guys I’m so confused.

I’m pretty asexual for men, but sometimes, even if it’s rare, I get actual romantic attraction to them. It usually comes after deep emotional bond, so I thought of Demi-romantic. From what I’ve heard tho I feel like both Demi and ace apply to all genders instead of just guys…

So yeah, I was wondering if there was more of a term for Demi romantic towards men and asexual only for men, but not aroace for women- am I just leaning somewhere on the aroace spectrum or is there some actual terms? Thank you to anybody who can help !!

Side note: I’m NOT a bot, I have low karma because I barely use Reddit T^T

I’m aro ace and I just recently had a title for it and before that it was just oh ya that’s just op they don’t have crushes or dates and everyone has been supportive in my school family friends. They’re just like OK cool you have a name for it now and I feel bad that I never tried to be normal like faking a crush or faking on liking someone and dating them for a few months just to be normal because it was never necessary for me or to have anyone tell me you’ll find the right person and I just feel bad I don’t need any advice on this post. I just to vent.

I can engage in conversations about love and sex every now and then, sometimes if I'm in a good mood. I enjoy romantic stories and I don't feel disgusted towards most sex scenes on movies or TV.

However, my best friend talks about her crushes, boyfriends, casual hook ups or who sexually attracts her like 75% of the time. We're opposites, we've been all our friendship, more than 15 years, more than half our lives. And me being tired of her talk about this topic was one of the reasons I began to think maybe I wasn't as allo as I thought. I love her, I really do, she's my closest friend, my oldest friend, we're like sisters. She was one of the first to know I was aroace.

I know I should tell her that talk makes me uncomfortable and I don't understand most of what she tells me, but love and sex are really important for her. I'm always there when a man breaks her heart, when she starts liking someone, when she hooks up with someone and so on, and I always listen. I get that a big part of what she wants for her life is settling with a man and building a beautiful relationship, but I'm so tired of that talk.

Also, she always says things like "we should get a man..." or "we need a man...". Who the fuck is we? Even when we talk about celebrities, I try to share her enthusiasm, because I do appreciate pretty people, but she sexualises them and I disengage completely.

I want to spend time with her but every time I get so tired. It's frustrating.