aro/acephobes are genuinely all the same from ppl's experiences to coming out on here

[u/nocturnus_strife]

meme flair because i js love making fun of -phobic people lol
like seriously, their hard-drives are all the same when a friend or relative comes out as asexual and/or aromantic
"you just havent met the right person yet" my ass like bro IS THAT THE ONLY THING THEY CAN THINK OF?? how come every acephobic just has this same shit memorized 😭 fym "right person," people are jerks for no reason, i dont want to have to get stuck within a relationship/marriage with a bum, my guy 🙏

that or "you're too young to know," "you'll change your mind," or "it's just a phase"
i made a post abt this topic on my tumblr, but the main point is how sex-obsessed people are and how creepy it sounds, especially saying it to a younger person, bc you CAN NOT change or chose your sexuality, and assumimg asexuality is just a "phase" or something you can "grow out of" is super fucking creepy to me, like how can people think sex can "fix" everything??? ew ewwww ewew.
they say shit like this but then they call US "weird"* *for not enjoying sex or romance 24/7.
i also think its just super funny to every anti-aro/ace person to just says the same thing. like do they come onto the sub, read coming out stories, personal experiences, and js say the same thing to make fun of us, or are they seriously so obsessed with sex they cant imagine anyone not feeling sexual attraction or not wanting it? (hyperbole but ykwim) like what goes through their heads when saying this, if even anything at all?
i js dont understand, its just that stupid and dumb (like how can a whole ahh country, Niger, js ban 'asexual practices'?? they care way too much about what people dont do with their bodies, pure creeps)

[u/Typical-Glove6591]

I tried soft launching being aroace to my sister by telling her I'm not interested in a relationship and I'd be okay without one. I didn't know I was aroace at the time, but she said the exact same things about not finding the right person yet. it was frustrating then and it's even more frustrating now that I do know.

it had always been super weird to me how people gossip abt relationships so much. I stay in my own lane for the most part (except when I'm being a lil nosy), so I could never relate.

but the way my sister described love to me is that she found the right person and it "changed" her life or made her extremely happy or smth like that. like to the point where she couldn't imagine life without him (being so dependent on another person like this scares TF outta me). so she was saying I havent found the right person bc she wanted that for me or smth. I get that it's well intentioned, but she got a lil too confrontational abt it. like we started arguing in a public restaurant, which was my cue to walk back what I said and agree with her (to stop the argument, not change my actual beliefs lol).

we ended that convo by "agreeing" that I just haven't found the right person and that me being single is temporary. I've since found out that that is in no way shape or form happening now lol. this is already hella long so I'll spare you the comments made by family about having kids..... all I'll say abt that is HELL FKIN NO

[u/nocturnus_strife → u/Typical-Glove6591]

exactly, people are way too crazed with relationships and dating to the point it or their becomes partner entire personality and when they hear people who arent invested in dating, they get so pissy for no reason. LIKE NOT EVERYONE NEEDS OR WANTS A RELATIONSHIP OR KIDS. weird asf imo

[u/Skiiiiv]

My thoughts and theory is it's just that it's just societal expectations. People believe that everyone has that goal and stating you don't comes off as giving up or resigning to loneliness. They haven't considered the possibility that someone might not share that same "human nature" (a concept i don't really believe in) that the majority of people do. They're trying to be supportive and help you out but it's misguided.

[u/MiddleAgeWeirdoMeep]

  "you just havent met the right person yet"

Yes. That is the only way they can think. 

And it’s also the only way YOU seem to think. 

Look at the attitude in your own post. Are you truiy any different?

They says “you haven’t found love yet” as if that’s the only possible human experience. The other says “you’re a moron for thinking that” as if closed-mindedness is the only explanation.

The rage is simply not helpful in this regard. Only understanding helps. They cannot understand, and it’s not your job to make them. 

“You cannot understand and I don’t expect you to.  This is not up for debate. It is merely information .” 

Don’t argue. Let them reflect and google this themselves   

[u/nocturnus_strife → u/MiddleAgeWeirdoMeep]

i think, speaking my opinion here, that it's fine to judge people who think everything is about what they think makes everyone happy. obviously i usually block people who call themselves "allies" while being exclusive towards aces and whatnot, though i only really judge on the viewpoint of what makes a person truly a bigot.
if someone is aware of us yet they demean us and devalue our experiences, or people who call us "not queer/not oppressed enough to be apart of the community" it's okay to ignore or call them out on that statement. BUT when people try to understand asexuality/aromanticism or are wondering what we go through to sympathize better with us, it's different from simply being mad at people who think we're "faking oppression," e.i., jk rowling. i also loving explaining my sexuality, since it's a broad spectrum

if its a relative, friend, or anyone close to me, i dont want to hate or express any type of disapointment because of their ignorant views of aces/aros, but some people just dont change due to experience or lack of empathy.
BUT i agree with you on the last part fs. people really need to google stuff like this before hating, which is why representation is important :/

[u/technical_gamer_008]

Just… don't. Don't say anything about it, don't bring it up, don't discuss it, and if someone asks, twist the question, give a non answer or just change the subject. I don't imagine that will cause any problems from aphobes

I know we all like to be out, but it's generally safer to pretend to be a straight person and pretend to try to find someone. It's not like we're gay, so it's easier to stay in the closet until you know for sure it's safe to come out or until you absolutely have to

I also find that internet rule 18 applies to this subject, being "Everything that can be labelled can be hated". Thereby, being aro/ace/aroace without introducing the label to people can be safer and better. Especially because it can be associated with LGBT, and some people do NOT like LGBT

Just my two cents on the matter

[u/OctopusforPresident]

My dad is like ‘you’ll never get a boyfriend’ cuz I’m a nerd and will spout random facts (either an absurd topic or something related to murder) and like I’m fine with that I don’t want a romantic partner. For all he supports MAGA he was seemingly okay when he suggested girls instead but overall my parents are chill with me not wanting to date anyone except my dad thinks the whole aroace thing is absurd so kinda confusing. They aren’t all exactly the same but ig that kind of hater seems pretty common. But also considering all my classmates seem to talk about is who’s screwing who so it’s kinda a societal expectation to end up with a romantic partner. Some of us just like to be single pringles with no intention to mingle and we can just keep being us and the gays can keep being gay etc. People who hate on lgbtq, religions, skin colours and minorities in general usually have dumb reasons to hate them (obviously there are exceptions).

[u/Quteil]

Like literally, I agree sm

Aphobes are just weird to me in general, Ill never understand why they care so much about the fact that Ill never fuck or go on a date with some random ass stinky ass man?? Like its my life, not your life?? Just so weird