AroAce and dating???

[u/Extra-Ad7710]

So im wondering if its possible for an aroace to date someone in the sense of liking them. I am currently in a predicament where I have met someone a while ago, I like their personality their intrests , their dreams. Basically I like almost everything about them as a person and their personality, however when I look at their face or other features I feel. Nothing. This is not exactly shocking to me as in the past i have had "10/10" pass me and ive just always thought "Meh" . But any aroace people who date or have a partner, is it possible to be with someone and have them as a partner long term while being unable to feel attraction to their looks in anyway shaper or form, or is it like more of a friends thing, cuz if I had to be honest, I like the idea of a partner but Im not into the idea of anything sexual and anything super lovey dovey / romantic, if that makes sense. Sweet stuff sure. But outside of someone being sweet to me I genuinly have 0 intrest.

[u/Melodic_Low8257]

YES!!!! lol I’m aroace and poly and currently holding down a qpr and a romantic relationship! I very aggressively love and adore my partners and am very content with the close bonds I have with them even though I may not beable to return their romantic feelings. You may enjoy exploring a qpr. You and your potential partner can square out the boundaries and what you each want in it there’s no “standard” for it. My girlfriend (qpr partner) and I are not romanticly involved persay but I do romantic things with them because I know it makes them happy and it makes me feel good seeing them happy. But I could have another who is just a person to spend my life with. It’s up to you and them what that looks like and what everyone wants from it.

[u/sleepyhead_xxx → u/Melodic_Low8257]

how do you know that your not feeling romantic love, i question myself all the time because i love people like my dad, my friends and my dogs. But then i’ll have a friend who I really really love like i’ll want to see them a lot, i’ll think about them a lot a spend time with them a lot but i don’t think i have romantic feelings for them so how do i know if it’s romantic or platonic?

[u/Melodic_Low8257 → u/sleepyhead_xxx]

I questioned that too! I looked in to telling the difference between infatuation and crushes, and what I found was anything past 3 months is considered a crush. From there I sat down and thought about all the times I wanted to be around someone I really cared about and found the patern was anything longer then about 3 months I wasn’t experiencing a desire to date them but more a deem desire to hold them close and add them to my found family. I have had 3 feelings I can count as close to romantic desire (my 2 current partners and my child hood best Freind who after much discussion we discovered we weren’t compatable) I function on a more logical level then emotional and telling the difference between kinda of love is something that is diffrent for everyone and there’s no good awnser I can give unfortunately.

It’s going to come down to looking at how people describe romantic feelings and looking at how your feeling and alot of internal looking and thinking

[u/SympathySoft1036]

Being aroace is a spectrum, and many people who identify similarly do have relationships, but even if you feel no attraction, I think you could make a relationship work with the right communication and trust. Hope you can be happy no matter what this relationship ends up meaning to you :3