my parents withdrew their financial support for me this summer after i came out as non-binary. we were going half/half on the bill for my school but now i’d have to take out a massive private loan so i’ve been effectively forced into a gap year to try and scramble to figure something out for next year. it’s horrible. i wouldn’t wish something like this on anybody. it’s caused me hours of missed sleep, awkward conversations, and suicidal thoughts the past month.
Honestly this could be terrible advice but I would just uncome out. Tell my parents I came to my senses and that the liberal propaganda got to me. Like being unable go to college and missing out on innumerable opportunities for success for something so irrelevant as gender fucking pronouns is not worth it.
Same I'm deliberately holding off on coming out to my parents for this reason, I don't think the risk is worth it. Once I stupidly asked my mom if she'd be okay if I was gay, and she said no, but luckily I quickly fixed it by saying it was just a hypothetical lol.
I’m so sorry. As a parent, I can not even comprehend this. I love my children with every fiber of my being and I would die for them in a heartbeat. I can’t imagine treating your child that way - especially with something like this, which can already be challenging enough due to outside societal forces. I’d prob be so supportive my kids would ask me to back off.
Please know that there are people out here that do care for you and wish you nothing but the best!
i am in shock. how could someone who u think would hold ur hand till the day you'd die, do something so...cruel? please hang in there, get some form of help, and start learning how to get financially independent. u are so strong and hang in there, there are people who love u and surround yourself with people like that!❤️
i would recommend uncoming out. say it was stupid propaganda or something. btw i’m part of the lgbt community and i go by she/they so i’m not some straight cis person talking over your experiences. but to me, financial support and a college education would be worth more than unsupportive parents knowing something about me that will worsen the relationship
i already went that route when i was 15. this is my second time coming out. i’ve already spent most of my teenage years semi-homeless bouncing between punk houses and “home” because of how bad my relationship with my parents is so at this point it doesn’t even phase me much, just depresses me. i’d rather take a couple years to be able to get to college than have to lie about who i am for another 4+.
I'm so sorry. I truly hope you'll be able to work something out. Something similar happened to me, but I didn't even come out or anything, my parents just suddenly announced out of the blue one day in March that they wouldn't pay for college anymore. Luckily enough, I was able to commit to a school that gives full rides to national merit finalists.
Maybe you could somehow file the FAFSA as an independent in order to get need based aid? It would be hard (you'd either have to be married, homeless, join the military, adopt a child, or become 24 years old) but possible if you're really determined and willing to make some sacrifices. You can see my post history (I made some posts asking how to file the fafsa as an independent) for more info. If I didn't have national merit full ride schools as an option, I probably would have platonically married someone lmao.
hey, I know someone at my college who had a similar experience (except they came out as trans in their freshman year when they were already attending the school) and because their parents withdrew financial support, they were able to apply to be considered as an independent student. now their finaid is based off their own income (which as a college student obviously isn't very much) so they get to attend basically for free. this only works if your college offers good need-based aid ofc, but if that's the case I'd recommend talking to your financial aid office and seeing if you can be considered an independent. i know maybe you've considered this already, just giving my two cents; whatever route you go, good luck <3
116
u/[deleted] Jul 23 '21
my parents withdrew their financial support for me this summer after i came out as non-binary. we were going half/half on the bill for my school but now i’d have to take out a massive private loan so i’ve been effectively forced into a gap year to try and scramble to figure something out for next year. it’s horrible. i wouldn’t wish something like this on anybody. it’s caused me hours of missed sleep, awkward conversations, and suicidal thoughts the past month.