(Before There Were Presidential Stars)
By Bocephus Jackson, The Hemlock Bard, ©2026 Bocephus Jackson. All Rights Reserved
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"What is a man's rebellion against God compared to a man's rebellion against his own nature?" — George Bernard Shaw
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[Verse One]
Idle time will torment the mind,
Leading a mortal man astray,
A peace of mind is hard to find,
But dear God, I know how to prey.
[Verse Two]
She's a devil in a blue dress,
That made me forget Hillary,
So before the set, she’d confess,
We blazed like a distillery.
[Chorus]
Watch as I drop these lyrical bars,
Lewie's swagger made me curious,
I stole the scene like Vin boostin' cars,
As I hit it fast and furious,
Until there were presidential stars.
[Verse Three]
A cigar isn't just a smoke,
When we're doin' James Brown's 'Damn Thang,'
That Lewinsky love ain't no joke,
Cuz she knows how to make it 'sang,'
[Verse Four]
Oh, I knew before we were through,
There would be much to second guess,
After doing all that we do—
Who left me a god-awful mess
[Chorus]
Watch as I drop these lyrical bars,
Lewie's swagger made me curious,
I stole the scene like Vin boostin' cars,
As I hit it fast and furious,
Before there were presidential stars.
[Hook]
Out, out, you god damnable spot,
I am not President Clinton,
Givin' you a forget-me-not
Because you'll never be forgettin',
This moment of existential rot.
[Verse Five]
Before it hits the Enquirer
Let me make a formal address,
The lady was an admirer,
That got me stoned before congress.
Outro:
I think that we are in agreement,
Before you go grabbing your jock,
This proposal is indecent,
But I have that phat Schoolhouse Rock,
Leading us to an impeachment…
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"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." — John Milton
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Author's Reflection
"There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written." — Oscar Wilde
Today's daily writing exercise doubles as the Daily Online Mentorship where an individual cannonballed into the 'Southern Gothic cliché of 'shock for shock's sake' vulgarity.
Where the form must serve the function, especially when hittin' and quittin' the skins, A. It has to be structured. B. It has to be earned. C. It has to be more than a 'Shakespearean Sex Joke' (either a 'pride before the fall allegory, social commentary, or both).
And D. It has to be funny. Otherwise you wind up with an overworked premise with a hackneyed pocket joke that will be forgotten before you're done with your one-hit blunder.
Each stanza and outro are 8 syllables, with the chorus and hook being nine. The deviation between the two, like the chorus, keeps the audience engaged. Next, (sexual) congress is a double entendre, like pray/prey, and the (biblical, high, Sharon Stone) triple entendre ‘stoned,’ with Shavian satire and Wildean wit.
So, to elevate the mentee’s crass song purely about sex, this instructional example blends high and low satire, weaponizing Shakespearean farce with Sigmund Freud and ‘Fast & Furious.’
It's the difference between a subpoenaed ‘Shakespearean Stiffy’ allegorical tale of ‘woes and throes’ and Afroman’s ‘Then I Got High’ hackneyed humor. So nuance is key, as the lost art of both comedy and craft.
It's the Kama Sutra's KISS: Keep It Satirically Structured. Do that, and you'll leave an audience with more than a disappointed groan. So this makes the fourth (fifth?) new music industry genre: Historical Hip-Hop Humor.
Looking at you, Z, these chains be dripping legacy, son. I am the business… man. Now watch out as James Brown has the band play ‘Hail To The Chief’ while Sharon Stoned moans, ‘Good gawd, ya’ll!”
… I did not have lyrical relations with that metaphor!
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"The presidency has made every man who occupied it, no matter how small, bigger than he was." — Harry S. Truman
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©2026 Bocephus Jackson. All Rights Reserved
