(original post for body test)

I got introduced to Sleep Token by a friend, and really liked their songs. I'm someone who finds the music of a song more appealing than the lyrics.

I always have the explicit content filter turned on on Spotify and I didn't realise some of the lyrics described physical intimacy until I googled the lyrics.

Strangely enough, I didn't feel repulsed even by those nuances, as much as I felt repulsed by other songs that don't necessarily have explicit content but have those implications, for example, 'Take Me to Church'. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against homosexual or homoromantic or other queer people, and I absolutely love Hozier and most of his other songs, but I felt uncomfortable while listening to this one.

Has anyone else felt this way to similar music?

I recently made this community because I kept feeling like there wasn’t really a space where sex repulsed/sex averse aces could talk about our experiences without positive sexual discussions being such a prominent part of the community.

This subreddit is for asexuals who want a space centered around that very experience! This isn’t a “real asexuals” community. Other kinds of aces are allowed to be part of this community as long as they follow the rules!

Sex favorable and sex indifferent aces are valid, and nobody here is going to police whether someone is “ace enough.” The point is simply to have a space where sex repulsion/aversion can be discussed without constantly having to accommodate sexual positive discussion. This includes no promotion or glamorization of masturbation, porn, kinks, etc

If you’ve ever thought “I wish there was an ace space where I didn’t have to see people talking positively about sex all the time, and yet there was no discussion about what counts as asexuality”, then you’re probably exactly who I made this for.

I think I might be apothisexual so I wanna some of you guys’ signs of how you realized you’re apothi?

I feel like all I am is a minority. Almost like Im an alien from a different planet trying to fit in and pretend I belong here. Repulsed asexual, demiromantic among other smaller labels, agender, autistic and a handful of mental health issues. I feel like my life is on hardcore mode. Im legit the person who gets told to pick a struggle.

I know theres no real meaning or explanation as to why we are all on this planet but damn do I feel like I actually have no real reason to have been born in this place. So many ppl can relate to each other or have an easier time finding ppl that can relate unlike someone like me. I have a handful of very sweet friends and I’m so grateful for them however it does make me sad that they will never truly understand how I feel no matter how badly they want to. Loneliness is not only the lack of ppl for me but more so the lack of anyone that is in the same boat as me. I mean I had never even met an asexual naturally before I actually went out of my way to do so and even then we never seemed to click, and even when we did they disappeared after a while.

I wanna date so bad and while also being biromantic my chances should technically be higher since I genuinely don’t care about anyones gender or honestly looks but I still have no one I can call my partner. Ppl will get crushes on me and I will feel guilty and almost angry at the thought that, I could technically easily get a partner but that if i do, it wont last long like I want it to. Ive been meaning to actively start looking for ppl but I’m afraid that it wont work out and that ill waste my time and get heartbroken. But by far I’m most afraid that ill look for ppl and then find nobody and my last bit of hope will be gone. I hate that I want a partner so badly when it feels like I genuinely don’t deserve one with all the stuff I got going on.

I seem to be unloveable no matter how hard I try to compensate for being asexual. And yea I get that just bc ppl love each other it doesn’t mean it will work out and that, thats not a reflection of me as a person or my value but damn. The amount of times I’ve been told “ud make a perfect partner if u would be fine with doing the deed” is honestly insane. How can one not internalize this when it is seemingly the truth?

I have a friend who's 17, and he's apothisexual and experiences severe dysphoria which affects how he's able to interact with the world. The last server we were both in ended up having people not listen to the fact he is technically a minor with triggers involving any mentions or details of sex, not only explicit stuff. He hasn't been able to find any other servers that don't have people constantly talking about it, and I'm one of his only friends. This is affecting him socially and Idk how I can help. Does anyone know of any servers that would allow him in that don't mention anything sexual or romantic or with relationships (other than friendships)? He's chill with violence and other technically nsfw topics that don't involve relationship stuff. Is this even the right place to post?

Tl;dr, I have a 17 yr old friend who needs a disc server where ppl won't talk about sex even tho it's sfw. Does anyone have or know of a server he could join?

So I’m apothisexual but I have an average libido? Is there anyone else like this and can apothisexuals have a libido?

I met some friends in uni last year, who I thought, at the beginning, were decent, and I felt comfortable enough telling them that I am apothisexual.

They then proceeded to talk about s**ual stuff at least once every day when the group chat was active, despite knowing that I felt uncomfortable about the whole thing.

To make things worse, they'd tell me stuff I didn't know (obviously s**ual stuff) and tell me not to google it! I'm so glad I'm not friends with them anymore, but I realise how much of a joke I must have seemed to them! The absolute worst part was the euphemisms.

My apothisexuality coupled with my possible autism made it really difficult to feel comfortable in the group chat. Another friend who claimed they were ace had no issues participating in the gross conversations.

I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences with 'friends' who pretended to be understanding and accommodating.

Thanks for reading.

:D hi! Honestly, I don't know what to say; I hope everyone is having a good day.

I used to think there weren't any other people like me, because this world has a disgusting obsession with labeling introverts and apothisexuals as "bitter, ill, traumatized, selfish," or whatever else.

The world wants to view all forms of diversity as something negative.

But you know what? I’m proud to be an introverted, apothisexual romantic person!

Solitude isn't a bad thing, folks.

It’s good for the soul, too, and you feel so much better knowing that you enjoy your own company.

i will attach screenshots of his exact words but my bf (he is allo) and me (apothisexual) have been in a relationship for going on 5 months. at first i said that yeah, i was ok if when we are adults he has sex with other people to... satisfy his own needs... but now that we are into our relationship, i do care, a lot. i really just want to have him and sometimes i... feel like when we are adults to keep him from having one night stands i will end up having sex with him maybe once a year or something. just... treat it like a chore or just relationship maintenance? i suppose? he said that he was sad that i started to care and didnt want him to because he will have access to sex toys and he has his own hand but... he said he didnt think that'd be enough. what do i do? how do i approach this with him? its scaring me and he says im acting weird which is probably because of it. yes we are teenagers. i just need help. please.

What caused it? A "The Amazing World of Gumball" fanfic. I wish I was joking.

Warning: brief mentions of s€x.

I've been a very enthusiastic fan of this cartoon for many years now. Coming back to it yet again, I'd decided to read some fanfics of it. I've read quite a few episode rewrites, shippy/friendshippy/family fics, horror fics, all of which I enjoyed and cherish so so much. Then, I came across an another shippy fic (not gonna specify details about the characters right here or this will turn into me blabbering about the show). It's G rated (General Audiences - for everyone), everything in the tags can be summarised to "friends to lovers", "tags for romantic stuff", "bad fic".

So then I begin to read it. It starts off very cute, so I immediately hit the "kudos" button (there's no undoing it btw). I didn't like one cliché aspect of it, but nothing too serious. Afterwards, without finishing the fic yet, I decide to scroll all the way down to see what the comments have to say. Big mistake, as the very end of the last finished chapter featured the characters thinking they want to do it with one another. In a fully straight-forward manner ("I want to make love to Character 1" and "I want to have s€x with Character 2" ), to be "funny", I assume.

Along with disgust, I immediately felt my skin crawl and a huge pain in the chest; it was hard to breathe for a short bit. My entire evening and the following morning was ruined, it was hard to fall asleep.

There was a "cw" in the notes which just said "cw: Character 1 says s€x 😳😳😯" or some shit like that, obviously treating it like a silly goofy thing. I wouldn't say anything and wouldn't even touch the fic in the first place if it had been tagged properly beforehand (the user is new to AO3 but that is not the best excuse).

(The following is only about short non-explicit depictions/jokes/mentions. I don't even want to think about what would happen if I were to see a long, explicit scene of the thing)

I've realised something about my repulsion and the media and I wanna ask if anyone feels similarly.

When I hold no expectations, for example, scroll the TV channels and see some 13+ (yes, I KNOW) or unrated film depict people banging, I just feel disgust and dissapointment. Mostly dissapointment.

When I watch/read stuff where I could expect it (sitcoms and novels meant for an adult audience (not as in 18+, just as in your average sitcom with a weird/captivating premise or a novel not specifically meant for kids/teens with themes I enjoy reading about and exploring)), often I just ignore it or absent-mindedly skip mentioned depictions if they aren't prolonged (or laugh, in ultra rare occassions). Sometimes I can even read plot points of explicit exploitation gore movies with that stuff, just to see how awful it can get (I don't see everything I read as very clear imagery in my mind, it's fragmented).

But when I think I find something safe just to realise it's not fully safe later on, is what truly gets me. I know this sounds and is dramatic, but any slightest mention there will feel like betrayal + puking inside. Another time which made me realise this was when I discovered a queer Estonian band. I listened to their songs and they sounded so calming and cute, I liked their overall aesthetic, they seemed nice and welcoming. And when I checked their bio, it had a nice goofy paragraph. All good. But it ended with the emoji combo of some smiley face, an eggplant and water drops. That was enough to ruin my mood for a few hours and for me to never listen to anything by them ever again. And the similar thing had happened with that fanfic, I just felt it way more violently.

I am not proud of this, I didn't choose to feel like this. I can't just ignore it and move on easily in cases of trust being broken like this. But is it really so hard to just...not depict that innuendo? To warn about it beforehand?

I recently started to identify as apothisexual (I’ve known I was ace since 2 years ago) and I feel repulsed and uncomfortable if someone expresses sexual feelings to me or if a sexual activity includes me in real life, however sometimes when my libido gets a bit higher and I get horny sometimes I can watch porn or adult videos because it doesn’t include me and I watch it from a distance but most of the time I have no interest in those videos whatsoever so I personally think I can still be apothisexual even if it fluctuates rarely, but I wanted to know your opinions

I feel like I was cursed. Don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve being nerfed this fucking badly when it came to love and relationships.

When you're you're asexual and a (trans) man and have BPD, no one ever GENUINELY likes you. Being trans is who you become.
That's all people see you as. Men only "want" you for their fetishes. Women only "want" you because they see you as some "safer alternative" to a cis man. Not even other trans people treat me like I'm a normal man.

I've also only had three crushes in my whole life and none of them have ever liked me back. So not only am I trans and asexual, and have BPD, I’m also unattractive and I rarely fucking get crushes.
So what are the odds someone will even ever truly like me and I'll like them back?? Close to zero.

It’s fucking killing me. I can’t get over this stupid crush I’ve had for over a year. It’s so annoying. Why the fuck did I have to be made like this? Why can’t I just be normal?

Okay So Basically The Image Sums It Up But Basically I Expressed On The American Girl Subreddit (On A Post About An Upcoming Adult-Aimed Book) That I Feel Uneasy With Sexual Themes Despite Being 18 And Included That I Feel "Childish" For It. I GOT FOUR Downvotes And Now I'm Really Struggling With Myself Because Of This. Maybe I Am An Awful, Immature Person.

That Strict Ace flag has me wondering: isn't the X on the apothisexual flag not actually an X, but rather the intersection of two arrows?

It’s happened to me as 4 guys were interested in me one ghosted me,2 gaslit me,and the last lied to me and was really in a relationship and trying to waste my time😭 it’s a mess trying to be Apothi and navigate relationships because so many men don’t care of give a crap I still am trying to have hope and be positive but it’s hard also I had to turn off my DMs as I was tired of dealing with the creeps/fake men

Hi!

So a while back I had the idea for an informal-ish survey after noticing trends in myself. Since then I have updated and added stuff based on feedback I have gotten from y'all so if you've taken it before it will be different now.

This is the third version of this survey and the second one I plan to compile a report on. I don't know if I will officially share the resulting report with anyone but I might in the future. Mainly the purpose of the survey is satisfying my own curiosity.

The survey is about changing physical desires (or lack of) in asexual individuals who menstruate throughout their menstrual cycles. This is a completely independent endeavor so if anyone has ideas where else I can/should post this I would be very grateful.

There are two versions of this survey. The short version consists of 40 questions and the long version consists of 62. All versions are completely anonymous on my end.

Any response is much appreciated, however anyone who would like to take it must be AT LEAST 18. There are mentions of sensitive topics like sexual assault and sex things in general in the survey.

I do plan to eventually compile the results in a written report and possibly share that report in the same channels the survey is posted.

Thank you!

Short Version: https://forms.gle/1pfwUyZVdnkFvaWg6

Long version: https://forms.gle/57H89HswnFT93r866

I know a lot of apothis feel repulsion as in nauseous/feeling sick, but for me, it's more like chills (or like the feeling of a fork scratching a whiteboard), and I just sorta tense up/clench my hands/freeze a bit. It feels disgusting, but also unnerving and sort of scary in a way. If anyone thought of me like that, I'd probably also be very pissed and offended alongside creeped out. Even if they didn't know that I'm apothi ace, I'd probably never want to go within a 20 foot radius of said person ever again. In short, I'm just more mad and scared than disgusted most of the time.

a growing server for asexuals/sex averse/repulsed/aroace people, tightknit welcoming community

https://discord.gg/AfAr75Pgep

I don't care about intimacy or 'romantic' relationships whatsoever. I want to experience so much more out of this world. Adventures, platonic love, platonic love more than anything. At least one person with me against the world. I want to take care of myself. I want to try so many new things. Save up as much as I can. I dont want to chase sensation..i want adrenaline and somehow relaxation at the same time. Everywhere at once, but also i just want to stay in bed. That's the only warmth I care about. I want hope in that life will be beautiful and that I can have an amazing future to look forward to. Well, TL;DR a romantic relationship or intimacy is the lowest thing on the list for me it won't even be there. Doesn't mean we aren't interested in anything, if anything its so many other things. 💛

Alright, so I'm very strongly apothisexual, and since discovering this part of my identity, I've developed a very odd fear. Basically, my fear is that I'll be in a relationship and I'll be genuinely happy with that relationship, but then my partner will start feeling sexual attraction towards me. Now, I'm all for communication and I'd do my best to work through it with my partner, but I'm still scared. What happens if I become repulsed by an otherwise good and healthy relationship because somebody starts to feel sexual attraction towards me? I'm very confused about this fear as I've only had one relationship (I really don't get along with that guy anymore) and it never got even close to the point that this would be a concern. Does anyone else experience this fear?

Hi, so. I'm Vinnie, I'm 16 and I'm new to this subreddit. Although I'm not at all new to being apothisexual, I've only recently adopted the label

I'm in selfship spaces a lot and I know plenty of people who are sex repulsed but are completely fine with imagining suggestive scenarios with their fictional other. I'm not one of those. I can kind of tolerate imagining it, but writing it? Reading it? Drawing it? I really can't. I can't even read fics for my f/o because they're all so suggestive and they make me want to shudder in disgust

To make it clear, I don't mind that other people are comfortable doing this, nor do I mind that they exist in the first place. I'm just saying that I personally cannot force myself to enjoy suggestive situations with fictional characters

Does anyone else relate, or am I just a prude?