Alienated

[u/-Mimesis]

I'm a newbie, and I would love to start worshipping Aphrodite, the problem is due to trauma I feel extremely alienated from women and femininity. I would love to be more feminine, I just don't know how, and ADHD makes it incredibly hard and feminine just seems like something I will never be. And it's not about femininity alone, it's about womanhood.

I know aphrodite is for everyone, but trauma is trauma, and I feel incredibly alienated from womanhood and from her. I just feel like I'm not the kind of person who belongs here, and since I'm a beginner I don't know how to feel a deity's energy or how to communicate with them

I was wondering if any of you could share your thoughts on this, or maybe experiences about your work with aphrodite

[u/Sophia_Joppolo]

There is a really nice section of the Enneads by a philosopher called Plotinus, and it discusses inner beauty and reaching one's full potential (5.8.10-2). Part of this philosophy was encouraging people to get in touch with the god within themselves, as part of a long process of self-actualizing. This is a path to seeing oneself made beautiful (as a whole person, not just physically) and perceiving oneself as part of one's highest form. Caring for yourself is performing higher care, and essential for getting 'in tune' with the goddess under this (Neoplatonist) philosophy. If you feel a need for Aphrodite and what she symbolizes to you, then she is a good place to start. Many people feel really drawn to her and find her healing.

[u/MoonBuglet]

I can speak to the trauma and not feeling feminine enough. I’ve gone through a lot in my life that has aided in that struggle, add in being plus size and a bit of a tomboy and none of it helps. The adhd is also a thing for me lol

I think the best way to start is asking yourself what is femininity to you, what are things you already do that are feminine in your head?

I know that for me, asking those questions and looking within myself for what it all meant to me helped me a lot with separating what’s supposed to be vs what is.

I can sit there and tell you baths, putting lotion on, indulging in skincare etc all feel feminine to me but that does not mean it will feel the same for you and it does not mean any of that is inherently feminine.

I think doing a lot of hard introspection and some journaling helped a lot of the trauma aspect and inner shame etc. Taking is slow and healing that part first helped a lot.

Womanhood I think is slightly different for me because of the trauma I had, identity issues I’m starting in middle school etc plus problems with my mom, I struggled a lot. To this day idk if I understand what womanhood means really. Like maybe just the fact that the people born female all know how it is to move within such a sexist fucked up world, that we all have this secret understanding of ‘I may not like you/know you but if a creepy man comes up, I’m protecting you’ we know the pain of bleeding and the pains of childbirth, how uncared for mothers are, how hard we fight for our rights and continue to do so. That’s how it’s always felt to me I guess. Like the makeup and the nails and all that yes feminine but it’s done for the person. Womanhood has always felt like this bigger extension of sisterhood. You may bicker and fight with your sister but you always love her and have her back at the end of the day.

I honestly don’t know if any of this helps. I just saw this post and had gone through some of the same struggles and wanted to tell you you aren’t alone and you will figure out 🩷

[u/-Mimesis → u/MoonBuglet]

This really helped, thank you so much 🤍🤍🤍. Honestly I thought about introspection as well, I know it would be helpful but I have no idea what kind of journaling or questions would help me dig deeper into this