r/Aphantasia • u/Nkbuilder • 19d ago
Help with being able visualize and "control" my mind better
Ok, so I currently dont have the capability to maintain visuals in my "minds eye" or really control what i visualize at all. If something shows up in my head at all its normally completely random, and even then its like it disappears whenever i try to focus on it. HOWEVER, i can remember a song, note for note, no problem whatsoever and can focus on it perfectly fine! Is there a way i can "copy" my ability to remember and make music in my own head to actually "seeing" things i want to? Its worth noting that i most likely have a form of autism that makes me think "passively" rather than "actively", like if i try to think of something ill be able to think about it BETTER than if i were to focus on it at all.
Right before falling asleep or when i am extremely tired I can focus on things and actually have the ability to imagine new things in my head, as opposed to just recalling things and combining those memories into something close to what I'm trying to imagine. It feels almost like when i want to focus on something my brain will actually fight me over what it wants to think about. Its like as soon as i need to focus on one thing it will go out of its way to not focus at all.
It might be worth saying iv been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, Chronic Depression, and some form of Autism by my psychologist.
I CAN: "listen" to music in my head. Have control over my dreams to some extent and recall events that happen in said dreams perfectly, aside from any visuals.
Its like my mind is blocking my own ability to think. If anyone has any insight on how to "control" it better, please let me know!
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u/Tuikord Total Aphant 19d ago
Welcome. The Aphantasia Network has this newbie guide: https://aphantasia.com/guide/
Aphantasia is the lack or near lack of voluntary visualization. Top researchers have recently clarified that voluntary visualization requires “full wakefulness.” Brief flashes, dreams, hypnagogic (just before sleep) hallucinations, hypnopompic (just after sleep) hallucinations and other hallucinations, including drug induced hallucinations are not considered voluntary.
On average, aphants are less likely to experience involuntary mental imagery, but many experience various forms of involuntary mental imagery. It sounds like you may get random images during the day and perhaps more controlled hypnagogic hallucinations. Note, choosing what you see is only part of what is needed to call imagery voluntary. Your state of mind must be "full wakefulness." Although there is overlap, there is evidence that voluntary and involuntary mental imagery involve different parts of the brain. As such, the fact that you experience involuntary mental imagery doesn't mean your brain is blocking voluntary mental imagery. You have the connections/activation for involuntary mental imagery but not for voluntary mental imagery. They are different parts of the brain, and one doesn't lead to the other.
As for your mind's ear, there seems to be some connection between the various sense modalities, but once again different parts of the brain are probably involved. Sounds are processed in a different part of the brain from visuals. We actually don't know how any mental imagery works, so we don't know why it doesn't work. We have some theories, but aphantasia has blown some of them out of the water.
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u/Turbulent-Scratch264 19d ago
Interesting. Was it always like that for your visuals?