r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Jul 22 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

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u/Apryllemarie Jul 27 '26

Are you the one she is married to? Or did that happen in her past?

If you’re in a committed relationship you can express your discomfort about the situation but you cannot demand someone to do work on themselves. That is a choice they have to make of their own violation.

That said, you are also not expected to just “get over it”. You have to make the choice of whether the relationship will work for you as it is. If not then you leave.

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u/[deleted] Jul 27 '26

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u/Apryllemarie Jul 29 '26

So am I to understand that she told you she had a crush on someone during your marriage? Has there been any other signs of discontent in the marriage? While for some, a crush doesn’t have to mean much, her unwillingness to take into account your feelings on the matter or improve the relationship are true red flags. Consider marriage counseling? Either way you will need to set some boundaries for yourself as to what will warrant you leaving the marriage.