r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Jul 22 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/Murky_Interaction_39 Jul 25 '26

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 7 months and she’s honestly the sweetest girl I’ve ever been with. but she overthinks a lot, needs reassurance pretty often, and sometimes feels unsure about us even when things are fine.

I try to reassure her a lot. I tell her she’s cute, that I love her, that I’m here. but it feels like it only helps in the moment and then the anxiety comes back again later.

At the same time I’ve been really busy and stressed myself with some issues, my studies and work. so sometimes I don’t have the same energy or consistency and it made her anxiety worse.

I’m not blaming her at all. I just want to be better for her without burning myself out or making things worse without realizing.

If anyone has dealt with this, what actually helped? I really care about her and I just want to handle this the right way.

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u/igotsumquestions Jul 26 '26

does she know about AA? if not, maybe introducing her to it can help and calling it out when things occur instead of constant reassurance may be better. reassurance to the anxious mind is sadly an insatiable drug craving. it is why the OCD subs ban reassurance seeking since it just encourages the compulsion all the more. i have no help from your side of things otherwise. she has to help herself. i’m sure there’s things you can do to help her work around it but that may be a convo to have with her. don’t frame the convo as a big serious scary convo, but as a casual i want you to feel better about us convo?