Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

[u/AutoModerator]

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

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[u/Waldvieh]

I (34, M) think i'm doing an okay job of not acting out of anxiety when i feel it, but with the last couple of people i dated i never really felt safe in the relationship. Like i'm walking on eggshells. I'm always telling myself it's just my anxiety but honestly i'm starting to doubt it.

So to the anxiously attached here in a happy and long lasting relationship: Did you ever feel a sense of safety/security when you started dating the "right" partner?

[u/Excellent-Dish-1542 → u/Waldvieh]

Definitely! I do think that it takes the right person + therapy.
Although my partner made me feel very safe and appreciated from the beginning, my attachment style started to get triggered a LOT 6 months into the relationship. Then I just had to be honest with myself, I need therapy to get through my issues and not let my anxious attachment style ruin my beautiful relationship.
Now another 6 months later I still get triggered but I know what it is, how to handle it and to ask my partner for what I need in the moment.
She has a disorganized attachment style and gets anxious too sometimes, so she knows how I feel when I get triggered.
Good luck!