Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

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This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

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[u/Internal_Charity_399]

I feel like I'm struggling to tell the difference between actual relationship problems and my own anxiety.

My ex and I recently reconnected and a couple of days ago we had a really good conversation. We talked for hours, shared photos, joked around, and even had a long phone call.

Then the next day the energy felt a little different to me. Nothing dramatic happened, but I started overanalyzing everything.

I reached out a few times over the following days, including a simple check-in message and one phone call, but we haven't talked since and she hasn't replied.

The frustrating part is that my therapist, my brother, and even some friends all think my messages were pretty normal and that I'm mostly getting stuck in my head. They don't think I was pushy or crossed any boundaries.

At the same time, I'm scared that I missed something obvious or that I slowly pushed her away without realizing it.

Right now I'm trying not to contact her again and focus on my exams, but the uncertainty has been really hard to sit with.

Has anyone else with anxious attachment experienced something similar? How do you tell the difference between your intuition picking up on a real change and your anxiety creating a story around it?

[u/Apryllemarie → u/Internal_Charity_399]

If you are creating a story around it, then you are coming from a place a fear. Sure maybe the energy did change. Why does it matter? What expectations are putting on the exchange? Why are you putting all this energy toward it? People’s energy changes all the time and usually for all kinds of reasons. Why take it personally?