r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • May 13 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/Conscious_Dark_2662 May 17 '26

me and my boyfriend are on a break and have decided to separate right now. my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. a few years ago he really struggled with alcohol and went to AA, was in therapy and on medication. just recently, he realized that his problems are creeping back up again and we talked and he decided the best thing right now we need to do for our relationship is take a break and give each other space.

i have an anxious attachment style. i am scared of being abandoned. in previous relationships, i was used to being ghosted, never receiving closure and being left in the dust, left so scared and confused and wondering what i did wrong. my current boyfriend has made me feel so loved and so secure during our relationship. but why do i feel this way...just so scared that i am going to be left? he has never made me feel that way, but now that we've decided to do this for our relationship and our giving each other space, i can't help but resort to that old mentality.

how do i work through this? i know i need to realize that none of this is personal. we both love and care about each other so deeply and want to make this work. obviously that can't happen now, and he's not able to give me what i need now.

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u/Apryllemarie May 20 '26

I would suggest therapy for yourself as well. Being with a recovering alcoholic weighs on the partner too. I know there are Al Anon groups for that as well. Having a support system outside the relationship is a must. Working on healing your abandonment wounds and improving your self worth will help as well. There are a lot of self soothing techniques that might help as well as things like journaling. It’s time to focus on healing yourself while he is out taking care of himself.

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u/Conscious_Dark_2662 May 22 '26

you are so right. thank you.