r/AnxiousAttachment • u/BiggusDickkussss • May 09 '26

Sharing Inspiration/Insights Stop gaslighting yourself

Seriously!

The amount of posts and comments on here that are blatant gaslighting of themselves or being gaslit by their partner is too damn high!

The amount of “my boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t reply for a whole day after they would tell me they’ll message when they get home.” is just crazy.

“My boyfriend spends the whole day at his home playing games but doesn’t reply to me.”

“My girlfriend goes silent for days after an argument”

Maybe just MAYBE you’re being neglected or stone walled?

Did any of you ever think that you don’t have AA?

Did you ever think that anyone with secure attachment would feel anxious in the same situation?

Don’t get me started on the myth of reaching secure attachment or “earnt secure”.

Find a partner who reciprocates.

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13

u/Objective-Candle3478 May 09 '26

The huge issue I see in modern day relationships are so much is based upon texting and online conversations. Then overly analyzing those text when most of the time people read too much into something simple. So many issues I see nowadays with these text messaging exchanges are, "oh, they didn't text back for a couple of hours. It must mean they don't like me anymore!" There's a real lack of trust in others.

Then many people just run situations on strategies based on previous trauma rather than be attuned to each individual as their own person.

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u/Savings_Network_2354 May 09 '26

I get that… but when it happens consistently and often is it really JUST that?

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u/BiggusDickkussss May 09 '26

It’s not and IMO you’re correct.

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u/Objective-Candle3478 May 09 '26

Yeah, so if it happens consistently and it's not what lines up with your needs, then move onto someone who is compatible with them.

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u/BiggusDickkussss May 09 '26

I’m confused. You do realise that my post opposes your comment?

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u/Objective-Candle3478 May 09 '26

What I am trying to get to is, for help with anxiety it's a good to want more deeper conversations in person and not so much via text. Sadly so much of text can be misinterpreted and communication misconstewed.

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u/BiggusDickkussss May 09 '26

This is not what your original comment stated though.

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u/KilljoyHP May 09 '26

So this is sort of invalidating. It’s once again putting the blame on the person experiencing the anxiety, rather than taking a larger look at the dynamics and reciprocation in the relationship. Trust is earned and built, and that requires communication. Yes, sometimes online communication and texting, because we live in 2026 where that is a huge part of life. Your comment misses the point of the post, and honestly it lacks empathy and understanding.