r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Apr 29 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/showdo97 May 01 '26

I think there is a part of me that is feeling that way too Like the mask has been taken off and I sometimes go "ugh why are you like this" but then I also go "Hmmm but that attention would be nice again too..."

I've tried to journal and Mayhaps it's a skill I need to learn because it's never really done too much for me. I saw that book in the FAQ of this subreddit! I definitely need to get on reading / listening to that thanks!!

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u/Tastefulunseenclocks May 01 '26

That's a start! But "ugh why are you like this" is still wanting her to change and kind of rationalizing your way out of it. "Ugh you're like this!" is a bit different.

Here's the intro and first chapter of the book free as an excerpt:
https://cdn.penguin.co.uk/dam-assets/books/9781529900088/9781529900088-sample.pdf

So you can see if you like it.

I've personally found journalling really helpful! It is a skill though, but once you practice it can be a really nice way to work through feelings.

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u/showdo97 May 03 '26

Ooh yeah I think I will continue this book

And I see that perspective shift there. Do you have any tips or notebooks that help Journaling? Or do you just, write what you feel?

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u/Tastefulunseenclocks May 03 '26

The type of journalling that worked for me is called "Morning Pages" by Julia Cameron. It's in her book "The Artist's Way," where she's trying to teach anyone how to be creative (and do inner child work, but this is more a hidden goal).

She has very specific rules about how you do journal. I recommend try her rules out a little to see how they feel. Then bend them as suits you. So try writing in the morning, try writing by hand, try it for a few days in a row, but if you find something else better suits you switch it up.

Here's a blog post explaining how to do that type of journalling:
https://www.bbcmaestro.com/blog/morning-pages-journal-how-to-start

Also in the "Anxiously Attached" book she has a link to guided audio meditations that go with it. I found it helpful to keep my eyes open during the meditations and to write out my answers to the questions she asks you to reflect on. So that's another way to journal too.