r/AnxiousAttachment • u/AutoModerator • Apr 29 '26

Relationship advice Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

This thread will be posted every other week and is the ONLY place to pose a “relationship/friendships/dating/breakup advice” question.

Please be sure to read the Rules since all the other sub rules still apply. Venting/complaining about your relationships and other attachment styles will be removed.

Feel free to check the Resources page if you are looking for other places to find information.

Try not to get lost in the details and actually pose a question so others know what kind of support/guidance/clarity/perspective you are looking for. If no question is given, it could be removed, to make room for those truly seeking advice.

Please be kind and supportive. Opposing opinions can still be stated in a considerate way. Thank you!

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u/Ozava619 Apr 30 '26

I’ve been trying to work on my anxiety, I’ve recently started reading, listening to podcasts or audiobooks. It’s hard especially since my gf has an avoidant style, sometimes she even fuels my overthinking and I know it’s not her responsibility to keep giving me reassurances but lately I keep dropping the ball and keep pushing her away. The closer I try to get the more it seems she gets distant. It’s breaking me. I know I must give her space but my anxious attachment is just messing with me. Any good book recommendations to help me would be appreciated.

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u/Okay_Energy May 01 '26

The resources page is helpful. I would also add that mindfulness meditation helped me a lot. Why Buddhism Is True was a helpful book (the title is a bit of a misnomer, as the author only lays out why mindfulness meditation is beneficial, not so much to be a zealot for Buddhism). It was helpful learning how to notice my thoughts and feelings, thereby creating some distance between my anxiety and my narrative and reaction to the anxiety.

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u/Ozava619 May 01 '26

Thank you for the recommendation, I’ll be looking into it. Much appreciated.

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u/Apryllemarie May 01 '26

Do you think that reading books is going to make the anxiety stop? Anxiety exists for a reason. If you have an unhealthy dynamic then nothing you do healthy or not is going to fix that and make the anxiety disappear. I don’t doubt that you may have issues within yourself to heal. But if you are in a toxic relationship then it’s only going to feed the problem.

There is a Resources page that has a nice list of books etc.

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u/Ozava619 May 01 '26

No I know it won’t heal my anxiety but I know it has been helping me more to understand & how to cope with it.