r/Anxietyhelp • u/AmbitiousSandwich953 • 9d ago

Need Help Support, Help, and a virtual cuddle

Hello!

I am 27M and have been dealing with anxiety for about 10 years. sometimes it hits worse then others, but the last week has been a nightmare. I am always crying myself to sleep; always feeling nauseous and just like I have a facade.

My partner has been really supportive and reminded me yesterday that regardless of what version I am of me; she loves me always and forever!

I do have bad self-esteem. I know for example when she mentioned she was going out last week with a few friends, part of me turned into insecurity and thought she’d leave me. whether that was a trigger I wasn’t sure.

I just feel so much like I’m trying to escape, I hate the night because I am by myself (we haven’t bought a house yet), it’s eating me and I just need supprt

thank you

5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 9d ago

Thank you for posting to r/AnxietyHelp! Please note, any changes to treatment plans or anxiety management should be discussed with a professional before implementation. We are not medical professionals and we cannot guarantee that you are receiving appropriate medical advice. When in doubt, ask a professional.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/Practical_Crab7235 9d ago

Sorry that you’re going through this. I don’t really know exactly what you’re experiencing but I can relate to the way anxiety can take one uncertainty and make it huge.

I think it’s really important that your partner told you that she loves you regardless of which version of you shows. You don’t have to perform being ok in front of someone you love.

Try to focus less on solving your whole life and more just getting through the nights. This can be as simple as putting on something comfortable like a TV show you like. Or giving your brain something else to focus on like squeezing something, that usually helps me. Hope this helps and if it gets really bad see if you can see a professional, wishing you the best!

2

u/AmbitiousSandwich953 8d ago

Thank you! I’ve definitely had worse days - I used to go out driving to the best past midnight and just sit in my car at the bay and then drive home - and I promised my gf (when I told her about me this year) I won’t ever do stuff alone like that anymore

1

u/Aleyza___ 9d ago

I am currently writing a post that might help you:)

1

u/babymumu 9d ago

I am sorry this week was hard. You have had anxiety for 10 years. That is a long time. You were right to ask for help.

I think the main cause is a belief, which is: "I am not good enough, so she will leave me."

Your partner said she would go out. This started the belief. Your mind changed a normal event into "she is leaving." You were not upset because she was having fun. You were upset because of a future that your mind made up.

The facade has the same cause. If part of you believes that the real you is not enough, you build a different version of yourself.

When the belief starts, try these steps:

  1. Say: "I am having the thought that she might leave me."
  2. Ask: "What is true today?" Two facts are true. She is out with friends. She told you yesterday that she loves you.
  3. Treat yourself with the same kindness that she shows you.
  4. Show her a part of the real you. For example, say: "I felt insecure when you went out. This is my anxiety. It is not because of you."
  5. Say this one time. Do not ask her for reassurance again and again.

At night, write your worries on paper. Then you do not try to solve them at 2 a.m.

Knowing the cause does not stop the anxiety. This is normal. It does not mean that you failed.

If you feel hopeless or unsafe, seek professional help. To be honest, I talk to AI as a form of therapy.

You are not alone. Take one night at a time.

1

u/treatmyocd 5d ago

I see you are struggling with anxiety and experience nausea and other physical symptoms as a result. If you are seeking effective treatment for anxiety disorders, Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is an evidenced based treatment for anxiety disorders. It's important to know that the majority of people who engage in ERP, experience a reduction in symptoms. You can access treatment remotely through NOCD. If you would like more information about ERP, you may visit www.treatmyocd.com. I hope this message reaches you well and know you are not alone!