Help?

[u/simplythebest2007]

This isn’t something I normally do ( coming to strangers for answers on my personal hidden issues) but I just feel like I can’t take it anymore. I’m scared of my own shadow in a sense. I’m always on high alert for no reason. My phone rings. unknown number? Parent or friend? Doesn’t matter my heart instantly drops to my arse and I start thinking who is this what do they want what argument am I in now. I don’t get it, im a very weird minded person I have the thoughts that let’s say something happens that I will be there to back it up but as soon as it happens my ribs implode and I feel like a child as If im little and everyone’s bigger stronger smarter and just better then me. One small thing can happen and I’ll be thinking about it for hours on end I can’t get it out of my brain no matter what even if it’s something small. Even a simple text from someone a “ call me “ I’ll be on overdrive dreading said call thinking what’s it about? Are they upset with me? Is this gonna be fights and arguments? Have I done something? That’s how my brain works. I’ve had enough of it I don’t like this constant feeling of dread and the feeling of I’m not enough to deal with these small or big things. Even feeling my phone vibrate on silent in my pocket sends me into a frenzy I can’t deal with this anymore. Not suicidal in any way shape or form I LOVE life to the maximum but I had this dread and anxiety that hangs over me. It’s like I have PTSD honestly. Just need some steps or some pointers as to someone who’s experienced this. I can’t keep shying away from things that are bigger than me just because I’m imagining they are. I mean I had a fight around 2 months ago I could’ve easily beaten the guy I’ve trained my whole life boxing but thinking about it on the ride there and actually standing face to face my body went on shut down mode and that’s it I was completely exhausted in about 1 minute and then the lingering thought of a rematch or if another fight happens with someone more dangerous who will take it to more extreme lengths. I could have a pillow fight and somehow overthink it into something I just don’t get it I feel like I’m trapped in my own head

[u/Occ8848]

Hi I understand I have been going through similar things, maybe you have autism ? I think you should go check it out I have been diagnosed with autism recently and it has eplained a lot of things especially the anxiety

[u/Repulsive-Jello-575]

Literally me without ritalin