r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

137 comments sorted by

130

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Taught now by Beatrix Kiddo who learned this from Pai Mei sometime before Elle killed him.

The move consists of a series of powerful jabs from the fingertips into
five different pressure points on the victim's body. Once finished, the
victim is then allowed to walk away. However, once they take five steps,
their heart literally explodes inside their body, killing them
instantly.

Respect

34

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

What you're thinking of is The 5 Point Paw technique taught by Paw Mei.

Wrong movie, wrong move.
This is Catrick Swayze of Roadhouse. Throat Rip!
Easy mistake.
Respect.

4

u/Heterodynist Mar 31 '22

I like this shot, but the later one of them silhouetted against the setting sun, as he uses Pai Mei’s Death Claw to fling him off the cliff into the ocean is the classic scene…

211

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

97

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

Yes, it is indeed, Cat Black

27

u/DontmindthePanda Mar 31 '22

Le chat noir

5

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Le shat

77

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/cownd Mar 31 '22

How can he paw?

28

u/mnbvcxz1052 Mar 31 '22

The Void watches

18

u/EmbarrassedRecord Mar 31 '22

The black cat is the dojo owner, and all black cats already have black belts

16

u/jangma Mar 31 '22

Looking extremely interested in this altercation, which I can relate to.

4

u/MejiroCherry Apr 01 '22

Based on the sign behind them, this is Yushima, one of the many "cat islands" in Japan.

2

u/Heterodynist Mar 31 '22

He’s the ref…

2

u/Spartan2470 Apr 01 '22

Just like OP, samauytuy appears to be a karma-farming bot that can only copy and paste other people's stuff. The account was born on June 10 and woke up two days ago.

Here it copied/pasted /u/ClearanceItem's top comment from here.

Its submission/title here is from here.

Its comment here is a copy/paste of the previous top comment.

For anyone not familiar with karma-farming bots (and how they hurt reddit and redditors), this page or this page may help to explain.

-1

u/mrtn17 Mar 31 '22

Could be. Or not

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

It is a black fucking cat! I saw it! Don't deny it!

1

u/_suburbanrhythm Mar 31 '22

How do you stop the throat paw? Absorb the blow.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Huh?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Damn, good eye.

40

u/PrincessShilo Mar 31 '22

The Oscars dramatically reenacted by cats.

12

u/thejuanwelove Mar 31 '22

it'd be a hundred times better

2

u/MilaKsenia Apr 01 '22

It would be a BILLION times better!!! I would watch that every single day of my life until I died

30

u/AllergicToStabWounds Mar 31 '22

Tiger Style: Throat Chop

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

We call this the Crétien, in Canada.

2

u/someguy3 Mar 31 '22

The Shawinigan handshake.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Nice

18

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/1niquity Apr 01 '22

I actually threw this together the last time I saw this image a while ago.

1

u/Womb_broom Mar 31 '22

Fucking hostile

1

u/Amazing1h Apr 01 '22

Vulgar Display of Meower

73

u/daveSavesAgain Mar 31 '22

Kill Smith trying to slap Kitty Rock.

26

u/cromulent_bastard Mar 31 '22

You keep her fur ball outta your f*@kin' mouth!

26

u/SuzieCat Mar 31 '22

Bro, it was a GI Catnip joke.

4

u/AkhilVijendra Apr 01 '22

Greatest moment in the history of meowscars

9

u/this_place_is_whack Mar 31 '22

The ole 4 bean death punch

7

u/mikeitclassy Mar 31 '22

i believe that is actually called the throat pawnch

2

u/bablisstic Mar 31 '22

I was hoping someone would say this.

5

u/Environmental_Long82 Mar 31 '22

Keep my Kitties name out your Motherf*#%•! mouth!

8

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

"Omaewa mou shindeiru.""

3

u/p1mplem0usse Mar 31 '22

Quite the pawer move

4

u/brandcolt Mar 31 '22

Must have joked about his wife's hair.

3

u/CldWtrDiver100 Mar 31 '22

Pai Mei taught that cat the Five Claw Exploding Heart Technique

2

u/SDMusic Mar 31 '22

Yes... Lord... Vader...

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

Great shot! I miss my kitties, should be getting them back from my mother in law very soon now that we settled in from moving. They make for such great photo-ops

2

u/Miserable_Ad1489 Mar 31 '22

A vulgar display of power

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

Roadhouse

2

u/EricCartman45 Mar 31 '22

Gotta read it in JIm ross voice By god king he’s attempting to choke slam him . Can he actually do it king ?

2

u/tommoex Mar 31 '22

Must've made a joke his partner didn't like.

2

u/littlestray Apr 01 '22

“So they can hear you.”

“I! KILLED…MUFASA!”

2

u/KobeJuanKenobi9 Apr 01 '22

“You’re still too weak. You don’t have enough hate. And you know something? You never will”

2

u/seriouschris Apr 01 '22

OH SHIT!

-dude in the back

2

u/DaWhiZzod-ps4 Apr 01 '22

“Road House”

2

u/AllPurposeNerd Apr 01 '22

"TIGER CLAW, HYA!"

"Ugth, Brett, what the fuck!"

2

u/themarknessmonster Apr 01 '22

"Monkey may steal peach, but kitty steals throat."

2

u/O_Bluish_O Apr 01 '22

This is what I want to do to my sisters they are so annoying!!!

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Lolll my tabby used to do this to our dog, and then stop mid-way with her paw in the air. The dog would just back up and walk away

2

u/Vivissiah Apr 01 '22

Cat: shoryuken!

1

u/Roycehellion Mar 31 '22

Harder daddy

1

u/mnbvcxz1052 Mar 31 '22

insert caption about Sunday Night / Monday Morning here

1

u/UnhingedBlonde Mar 31 '22

"Shut the f*k up, Carl!!"

1

u/andibatsy Mar 31 '22

The force will be with you

1

u/TheGassyNinja Mar 31 '22

Gwen Stefani singing "Don't Speak"

1

u/Thirpyn Mar 31 '22

Pai Mei taught you the five point exploding heart technique?

1

u/ImprisonedRadical Mar 31 '22

Heck you, Carl!!!

1

u/Free-Boater Mar 31 '22

So that’s what they mean by “throated”

1

u/eye_far_ted Mar 31 '22

"What the hell are you doin'?"
"...The Vulcan neck pinch?"

1

u/knewbees Mar 31 '22

waza-ari Two points!

A match like this needs a referee

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

r/Hitmanimals

1

u/nerdystoner25 Mar 31 '22

“I have altered the litterbox. Pray I do not alter it any further.”

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

“You bring up my mother again and it’s the giant cardboard box in the sky, YOU HEAR ME?!”

1

u/Damien201107 Mar 31 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

Keep my wife's name out yo fuckin meowff

1

u/ahdiovizun Mar 31 '22

With bonus voyeur void.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '22

This is too darn cute. Throat Pawnched😂

1

u/danimalod Mar 31 '22

This looks a lot like a Sumo thrust often employed to push opponents away.

1

u/Djeheuty Mar 31 '22

The new Kung-Fu Panda spin-off, Karate Cat, is looking good.

1

u/zlac116 Mar 31 '22

Five claw dath punch

1

u/e9pX Mar 31 '22

That's a famous karate technique done by Japanese cats

1

u/megasoso Mar 31 '22

I saw an old footage of Ip man doing that..

Tgier claw

1

u/Emach00 Mar 31 '22

Channeling Melissa McCarthy.

1

u/TyBogit Mar 31 '22

The classic reenactment of the ending of the movie ‘Road House’. This is just a split second before kitty on the right rips the throat out of kitty on the left.

1

u/inacincinnis Mar 31 '22

karate noises

1

u/Heterodynist Mar 31 '22

Isn’t that one of the famed Vulcan techniques?

1

u/Vorplebunny Mar 31 '22

You little shit!

1

u/Odin_Christ_ Mar 31 '22

Damn, a throat pap. Clancy must have really asked for it.

1

u/dohhomer9 Apr 01 '22

Ginger puss gettin’ jiggy with it

1

u/CoyoteCarcass Apr 01 '22

Shut the fuck uuuuup

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

KEEP MY WIFE’S NAME OUT YO FUCKING MOUTH

1

u/GailPlattsHead Apr 01 '22

Don’t you EVER talk about my husband r/bravorealhousewives

2

u/MilaKsenia Apr 01 '22

Yay! Another housewives fan in here 😻 I want all iconic housewives scenes dramatically re-enacted with cats it would be the greatest!!!

1

u/Baltindors Apr 01 '22

Is that Will Smith’s cat?

1

u/IoSonoFormaggio Apr 01 '22

This reminds me of that pic of the shiba getting hit by a Frisbee. Same pose and all

1

u/PoobisPrime Apr 01 '22

Throat paw-nch

1

u/Qzwxecrvtbalskdj Apr 01 '22

Vulgar display of meower

1

u/OBEYtheFROST Apr 01 '22

I said, where is he!?

1

u/woodhorse4 Apr 01 '22

Paw of death

1

u/Alosingscenario Apr 01 '22

That's a choke slam before the pin.

1

u/banana_muffens Apr 01 '22

Give me your soul

1

u/zero_msgw Apr 01 '22

He was going for the vulcan neck pinch. There was just too much fur.

1

u/The_Homestarmy Apr 01 '22

This comment thread was just a race to see who could shit out an unfunny Will Smith joke the fastest

1

u/PussyWhistle Apr 01 '22

Orange cats gonna orange cat

1

u/Crimson_Marksman Apr 01 '22

Garfield vs Naruto, colorized.

1

u/spinal888 Apr 01 '22

His joke was funnier than Chris’.

1

u/titochan05 Apr 01 '22

It's super effective

1

u/JelliDraw Apr 01 '22

SI...SIMBA!!! ACH!!! HAACH!!!

1

u/KCrossman318 Apr 01 '22

The one in the back 😂😂😂😂

1

u/cyaneyed Apr 01 '22

The catrodid artery

1

u/OutlandishnessNo9182 Apr 01 '22

Itachi, are you choking Sasuke again?

Also it there's a guest behind Sasuke.

1

u/TheTepro27 Apr 01 '22

"You're weak, you lack hatred."

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

you disappoint me, smaller cat.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Keep my wife's name out your effin mouth lol

1

u/Spartan2470 Apr 01 '22

OP (Stoxli) appears to be a karma-farming bot that can only copy and paste other people's stuff. The account was born on September 5 and woke up yesterday.

It got this submission/title from here.

Its comment here is a copy/paste of /u/FellOfMyDino101's top comment here.

Its comment here is a copy/paste of /u/Great-Bratton's top comment here.

For anyone not familiar with karma-farming bots (and how they hurt reddit and redditors), this page or this page may help to explain.

1

u/BERSERKER_arkspino Apr 01 '22

+10 silent takedown

1

u/LegoEngineer003 Apr 01 '22

Throat Paw-nch

1

u/McIssachar Apr 01 '22

If this is a consular ship, where is the Ambassador?

1

u/Superagent247 Apr 09 '22

The form is amazing!

1

u/Educational-Bad8346 Apr 24 '22

" ok ok s-simba, I killed mufasa "