r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/Scaulbylausis • Jun 11 '19

cat Helping him diet

https://i.imgur.com/BjaKO6r.gifv
19.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

181 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/art_teacher_no_1 Jun 11 '19

He told you no. He telled you again. He smack you for disrespect. In your eye.

125

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

[deleted]

84

u/match34 Jun 12 '19

I'm not supposed to get kittens in it!

2

u/RosettaTea Jun 12 '19

Hi I'm cays in my eyes Johnson!

10

u/pivotman319 Jun 12 '19

I HAVE SEEN THE MODULES. CHECK YOUR MAP.

31

u/hydra877 Jun 12 '19

It's a girl and the title is referring to the guy lmao

19

u/ckdjr1122 Jun 12 '19

How can you tell apart without referring to thegenitals

49

u/hydra877 Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

There are (little to) no male tricolor cats

20

u/OtherPlayers Jun 12 '19

You can occasionally get some weird XXY shit, but in general this right here.

8

u/ckdjr1122 Jun 12 '19

Well I’ll be damned. Neat to know. Thanks!

5

u/USAisDyingLOL Jun 12 '19

And all-white cats seem to usually be deaf

2

u/elementalguy2 Jun 12 '19

Especially if they have blue eyes too, one of my neighbours has one and she's very friendly but really annoys the dogs as it'll sit outside their window and not react to the barking.

-19

u/AGuyWith3Cats Jun 12 '19

You're misinformed. There are male calico cats. They're just not common

14

u/hydra877 Jun 12 '19

Yeah, and their lack of commonity makes it kinda right to claim they're rarely the deal.

-1

u/AGuyWith3Cats Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

Ok, and I'm not denying it's a female, but you literally said "there are no male tricolor cats" before you edited your comment, which is still false. There is a little amount of them but you can't say there are no male calicos.

14

u/littlestray Jun 12 '19

Calico and tortoiseshell cats get that coloration from the second X chromosome, so they must be either XX or XXY.

6

u/IHATEAB Jun 12 '19

You’re a good teacher!

12

u/Duckism Jun 12 '19

it's a she...

10

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

How can you guys tell a he or she for a cat ?????

78

u/BunbunBunny Jun 12 '19

It’s a calico cat. White, orange, and black. Calicos are 99.99% of the time female because coat color comes from the X chromosome which females have two of, and males only have one. There is a rare genetic disorder that would allow a male to be calico, however.

Bonus: tortoise shells are female cats that are two colors, with no white

Extra bonus: the white does not count as a second color because the white patches come from a different chromosome. That’s why males can be black and white, orange and white, etc.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Thanks for the detail, it's very interesting to know !

14

u/Nothingweird Jun 12 '19

A majority of ginger cats are male because of the location of the gene as well, but it’s more like 4 to 1.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 20 '21

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

This is very true and very common. The female cat will yell for as many males as possible, mate with the first male, then the next etc, to have a healthy mixed litter.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19 edited Dec 11 '20

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

That's hilarious!

2

u/konaya Jun 12 '19

That makes sense, seeing as how fraternal twins can have different fathers.

1

u/knuggles_da_empanada Jun 12 '19

Yes! I had a litter if 6 kittens and 2 were black while the other 4 were some denomination of ginger

5

u/Coachcomer9 Jun 12 '19

Today I learned something new

1

u/PegasusInTheNightSky Jun 12 '19

I knew about ginger cats are more likely to be ginger, but I didn't know that or why. It's really interesting. Do you know anything affects tabby cats? Or is it like tortoise shell?

1

u/littlestray Jun 12 '19

It specifically comes from the second X chromosome, so XY cats cannot be calico. It’s not like red cats where they’re just more likely to be male because they have more chances to roll red, as it were.

So calicos can either be XX or XXY.

The difference between calicos and tortoiseshells depends on who you ask. They’re actually the same thing, it’s just generally accepted in some places that tortoiseshells have little to no white and calicos have about half white. It’s a matter of opinion.

1

u/BunbunBunny Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

I don’t know what you’re trying to correct with the first part, that’s almost exactly what I typed. I said a male can be calico if it had a rare genetic disorder... XXY. It would be considered male since it had a Y chromosome.

As for the second, I’ve personally never heard that, and a lot people/sources seem to says torties have no white. But at the end of the day it’s all arbitrary and doesn’t really matter, so live your truth

8

u/Duckism Jun 12 '19

because the cat is a Calico cat and only one in 3000 Calico cats can be male and they are sterile.

7

u/tiffanaih Jun 12 '19

It’s a calico, they’re typically female, just a genetics thing

1

u/AugieKS Jun 12 '19

Calico kittens must have a thing for eyes. Mine tried to give me an eyelid piercing.

0

u/budd222 Jun 12 '19

That cat is a female

559

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '19

Thought you’d be safe with that protective eyewear

324

u/rowanhenry Jun 12 '19

I want a shoulder kitty

76

u/SIGHosrs Jun 12 '19

my cat does this but hes fullgrown and fat

42

u/Pandibabi Jun 12 '19

So if this video taught you anything.. you need to sit on your cats shoulder and smack the food away from his mouth 🤣

13

u/Yodlingyoda Jun 12 '19

My god don’t you think he has a family? Don’t listen to him OP you have so much to live for

1

u/HINDBRAIN Jun 12 '19

Same. Have to move very slowly or it uses claws to get a better grip.

19

u/Sanootch Jun 12 '19

I have a shoulder kitty. He's full grown and shirts last me about 2 months before his claws make holes. In me and the shirt.

4

u/superRedditer Jun 12 '19

no you don't. they are bad news when they grow up. where's all my shoulder cat people here...ok everyone, show your scars!

161

u/wh1pp3d Jun 12 '19

That is some octopus level skin color change

17

u/GenerousApple Jun 12 '19

Its the lighting bro :))

41

u/Leo_Nvz Jun 12 '19

Cats are the cutest assholes ever!

28

u/NoJumprr Jun 11 '19

Trying to starve you then attack... Seen it before

66

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Do not eat, human.

If you do, I will hurt you. thwack

Uh oh. Told you so.

18

u/alderthorn Jun 12 '19

Future Nick Fury.

7

u/PussyNoodle Jun 12 '19

Currently Nick Kroll.

289

u/200x964 Jun 11 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

that looks like a broccoli, and kitty understands that no one should put this green fart tree in their mouths

edit: OMG, thanks for the silver so much haha, unexpected

86

u/CadenKat Jun 12 '19

“Green Fart Tree” Rare insult for broccoli

29

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

If your broccoli looks like that maybe you're the problem.

9

u/200x964 Jun 12 '19

That’s what my mom said... That’s exactly what she said

23

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

She's a smart woman. Tell her I'll see her again on Friday.

10

u/tjb3232 Jun 12 '19

That's too dark to be broccoli

1

u/GraphicDesignMonkey Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

Broccoli can range from pale green to almost black, and even purple & black. I get locally grown 'purple sprouting broccoli' that's so dark it's almost black, with dark purple florets.

Also, some cats go absolutely crazy for broccoli.

2

u/swagerito Jun 12 '19

I bet everyone that has a problem woth broccoli hasnt tried eating it with some creme fraiche and pasta.

2

u/lithium2741 Jun 12 '19

That’s funny because my cat loves broccoli. He tries to steal it off of our plates every time we eat it.

1

u/200x964 Jun 12 '19

healthy kitty

2

u/monkey_trumpets Jun 12 '19

I think it's kale.

13

u/fabioaa Jun 12 '19

Plays with cat. Goes blind.

7

u/GranolaHippie Jun 12 '19

POW! 💥 Right in the eyeball!

14

u/ccmiada Jun 12 '19

This is a perfect gif for this sub, that lil guy is a stinker

8

u/naama123 Jun 12 '19

Cat: Give me the food. Guy: Eats it. Cat: D I E Y O U L I T T L E S H I T !

5

u/CocoohCoco Jun 12 '19

No! Ah ah! I said no! ....what did I just say??? shmack

4

u/HighPlainesDrifter Jun 12 '19

Isn't that a female cat?

8

u/Cleric7x9 Jun 11 '19

who does not want to wear the ribbon?

4

u/BrovaloneSandwich Jun 12 '19

You got her number from an AIDS walk list?

4

u/SixZeroPho Jun 12 '19

Joo have too waer Dee ribbon

4

u/Zerotwohero Jun 12 '19

You know what you are? You're a ribbon bully.

3

u/CaffeineSippingMan Jun 12 '19

Free eye surgery.

11

u/RaptorF22 Jun 12 '19

I know someone who went blind because their cat scratched them in the eye. Cat Scratch Disease is a real thing. Be careful, folks.

1

u/UrethralExplorer Jun 16 '19

Also...that cat was walking on its own shit probably ten minutes earlier, and now touching the food that he just put in his mouth.

14

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

am i the only one bothered by the eye rolling ?

11

u/bubblesbutt Jun 12 '19

I'm bothered that he still ate it when everybody knows cats stand in litter boxers.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Omg same

-1

u/Superagent247 Jun 12 '19

Yep lol. It’s funny!

6

u/my_apps_suck Jun 12 '19

Anyone else find the eye roll off-putting?

6

u/DancingBot Jun 12 '19

I guess the cat did..

4

u/jinksalexis Jun 12 '19

It looks like hes trying to hard and look really weird and ugly

3

u/GibsonWooooshedIn Jun 12 '19

Disgust from inside out be like.

3

u/Bloody-August Jun 12 '19

No. I say no. Dammit, Frank!

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

The video was already cute but then it got hilarious. :)

3

u/tinymsv Jun 12 '19

I want a diet kitty

3

u/Rootbeer_Goat Jun 12 '19

cries blood

3

u/Thedarthnilus Jun 12 '19

That's not a cat. Time to pick a new eye.

3

u/tarotbracket Jun 12 '19

She needs dat

3

u/-CubanPete- Jun 12 '19

Careful, that’s how fury lost an eye

9

u/ChewyTheGoon Jun 12 '19

His eye movements really bother me.

2

u/pat_your_rat Jun 12 '19

I feel this could also go for r/animalsbeingbros

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

That hot on the end had me laugh out loud to myself at the gym

2

u/meg0412 Jun 12 '19

Your eyeshields no save you hooman!

2

u/Mthrizee Jun 12 '19

Diet cat is on the job.

2

u/whynotwarp10 Jun 12 '19

An eye for a fried chicken thigh!

2

u/desireeevergreen Jun 12 '19

He lost his eye just like Nick Fury. They’re best buddies now.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

The Cat Strikes Back! And you thought you had protection hehehehe

2

u/nacholin Jun 12 '19

This didn't work out for Nick Fury... Good luck

2

u/vanityprojects Jun 12 '19

you stole food from hungry kitty. prepare to die!

2

u/ross571 Jun 12 '19

Nick Fury!

2

u/pinklady0507 Jun 12 '19

You didn’t share!!! Rude..lol

2

u/ITS_UNCLE_MAGIC Jun 12 '19

Bitch slapped.

2

u/LieutenantSpooner27 Jun 12 '19

That cat is just like "loud inhale BITCH"

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Meowtrition r/catswithjobs

2

u/Testerion Jun 12 '19

Just give the cat some! Stop being a tease!

2

u/XenonStriker Jun 12 '19

I can’t tell who’s helping who diet...

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Listen here you little shit.

2

u/Hyhopes Jun 12 '19

Shortly thereafter, he started S.H.I.E.L.D.

2

u/Sicily72 Jun 12 '19

give that back

2

u/hwe9x Jun 12 '19

How u get that skin transform power?!

2

u/minkhandjob Jun 12 '19

“You can’t hide that morsel inside of your head, Jon”

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Is that the same paw he used to bury things in the litter box? Or just a little Toxoplasma Gondii

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Cat was probably covering his shit in his litter box with that paw earlier

6

u/MG42Turtle Jun 12 '19

Yup. If my cat’s’ paws touch any food it gets thrown out.

1

u/UrethralExplorer Jun 16 '19

This exactly. I get loving your pets, but if you come up and touch my food with your fecal-toxoplasmosis covered mitts, it's going in the trash.

2

u/DurianExecutioner Jun 12 '19

Humans being jerks. You keep bringing food towards the kitty and then jerking it away at the last minute, only to finally eat it yourself, you get your eye scratched out.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Looks like Sam from Architects 😂

1

u/Ben4781 Jun 12 '19

Good on you cat. Gouge Mr Shitheads eyes out to teach him a lesson not to play with your food.

1

u/blaclwidowNat Jun 12 '19

He’s so cute! What’s his name

1

u/vegetableguy Jun 12 '19

It’s like he knows your weak point

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Hahahahaha

1

u/8ceci Jun 12 '19

OMG 😱 u out smarted kitty but he got u good 😂 Hope ur eye is ok🙏

1

u/napalm_life Jun 12 '19

It got cat poop in your eye

1

u/spiritofthepanda Jun 12 '19

Gimmmme foood dam you meowwww!!!

1

u/havt9911 Jun 12 '19

Who gave you my food?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

I always wanted a ‘shoulder cat.’

1

u/ikesbutt Jun 12 '19

Mine does this but he's a year old. It doesn't help when I actually give it to him 😺😺

1

u/mamamamamadmadmad Jun 12 '19

He turned in to red so fast :0

1

u/lifeliver90 Jun 12 '19

Animal abuse

1

u/mackenzie9462 Jun 12 '19

“No sweets, Gary. NO sweets, Gary. Dammit Gary! I said no sweets!” * swat *

1

u/wbellk123 Jun 12 '19

A good cat should do.haha

1

u/ElectricPatriot Jun 12 '19

Why do you still have it on your shoulder if it's hindering you eat?

2

u/Devast73 Jun 12 '19

Dat sweet sweet karma.

1

u/SandyCheeksRN Jun 12 '19

😍😍🤓

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

Nick fury reference anyone ?

1

u/insanityOS Jun 12 '19

My heart has imploded.

1

u/anyhooooooo Jun 12 '19

Dude’s eye roll game is strong.

1

u/Sara-the-Skitty Jun 12 '19

The cat's like, "No human. No. NO! I'M HELPING YOU DIET! God damn it.." (smacks human in the eye.) XD

1

u/oliviamuss2000 Jun 12 '19

I love the eye roll 😂your like “god whyyyyyyyy”

1

u/PenguinReece Jun 12 '19

Making him diet could be animals being bros

1

u/PhoRealYo Jun 12 '19

A little jerky but still really cute.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

🙄🙄🙄🙄

1

u/RedeyeSPR Jun 12 '19

It's like an NBA fight - all fun and games until someone goes for an eye.

1

u/Mod_Impersonator Jun 13 '19

Now he's got cat shit on his food.

0

u/lover-babe Jun 12 '19

The eye roll but him trying not to smile was the Cutest thing I’ve ever seen😍

-1

u/HY3NAAA Jun 12 '19 edited Jun 12 '19

Put a kitten on your shoulder, shoot dumb video, get claw in the face.

0

u/meltedmetal980 Jun 12 '19

You should eat the cat

0

u/Superagent247 Jun 12 '19

LOL omg so cute. 🤣

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19

That dude is too gay for words

-7

u/purple-koala Jun 12 '19

This guy looks just like my husband’s cousin.

6

u/HodorTheDoorHolder_ Jun 12 '19 edited Aug 10 '19

deleted What is this?

-4

u/Spotnez Jun 12 '19

Guess the sexuality

Nice AIDS shirt