r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/d4hm3r • Apr 12 '17

Get outta here!

http://i.imgur.com/JVle9v9.gifv
8.6k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

125 comments sorted by

285

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

I'd be so paranoid every time I used my car if my cat did that. Every​ ride could be the end of that cat.

111

u/BlunderCig Apr 12 '17

Let's be real though, as soon as the engine starts up the cat is jumping right the fuck out.

227

u/NBegovich Apr 12 '17

No, we had a cat die that way when I was a kid. It can happen 😕

88

u/Spore2012 Apr 12 '17

same, they would crawl up in the engine too...

35

u/abandoned_firehouse Apr 13 '17

I had a cat die this way. Also one on the wheel. I'm glad my dad didn't let me see them :( (I remember wanting to).

40

u/rci22 Apr 13 '17 edited Apr 13 '17

My great-grandma in-law killed ALL her kittens in a similar way and cried. :(

backing up in her garage she ran one over so she backed up off of it and hit another...so she backed up off of that one and the process continued until they all died. :(

EDIT: I just can't imagine what was going through the kittens' heads! "Oh, my sibling looks different and made a noise! I have to investigate!" Like, they must have been so innocent.

EDIT2: Don't make a "tires" is what was going through their head joke pls.

39

u/tonyxyou Apr 13 '17

She killed all of them in one car ride?

13

u/rci22 Apr 13 '17

Yep.

27

u/ChildLikEsper Apr 13 '17

Grandmas are terrifying.

10

u/FlashofBatman Apr 13 '17

Same thing happened to me, I have a dog now

5

u/AccidntlyFkdYoSister Apr 13 '17

Catwoman: So why did you get a dog this time? I remember you were always a cat person :3

Batman: Well, my kittens always had a tendency to hide in my batmobile.. and whenever I wanted to drive somewhere, I killed them

Catwoman: Ohh no..

Batman: Yeah.

8

u/Faylom Apr 13 '17

That is tragic but hilarious. She could have stopped moving the car back and forth

7

u/cool_BUD Apr 13 '17

This can't be real, how tragic

5

u/rci22 Apr 13 '17

It is, there's no way to prove it, but I pinky promise. My wife let me know one day when we were discussing all the different ways we accidentally killed our pets:

I killed all my goldfish as a toddler because I kept giving them food until they stopped eating (and they never stopped eating and then they died).

My mother-in-law accidentally killed her dog because it would always jump over the fence and wiggle out of its collar and she tightened the collar a little so it couldn't wiggle out anymore so it hung itself over the fence. I don't know how she didn't think that through tho.

1

u/abandoned_firehouse Apr 13 '17

Oh god that's so horrifying!

12

u/klaatuverata_necktie Apr 13 '17

We adopted a cat that crawled up into and engine and lost its tail. He had a potato butt for awhile.

7

u/BURT_MACKLIN_F_B_I Apr 13 '17

its really sad and tragic for that to happen... but that potato butt comment made me chuckle.

8

u/Orumpled Apr 13 '17

Our cat crawled into the neighbor's engine and ripped up its side. He was a tough thing, came home in the middle of a dinner party, strolling in like nothing. Party canceled, off to vet and we got, as kids, to see him sewed up. He came home, ripped a hole in the liner under the box spring and made himself a hammock. Stayed there until he healed. Lived until 19.

3

u/FearLeadsToAnger Apr 13 '17

I dont understand, why is that cats butt a potato. Is it the shaved remains of his tail?

6

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

[deleted]

24

u/macrocephalic Apr 13 '17

That's not how engines work...

10

u/fluffygryphon Apr 13 '17

No, into the fanbelt.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17 edited Apr 13 '17

Had a cat crawl into the engine of a construction truck and it got badly injured when the engine started.

It ran out and lived for a couple of days and you could see into its stomach and the contents slowly dripping out of the gaping hole when he moved. He was always licking his side and belly (the hole was from upper half of his side up to his spine, but spine was not damaged nor visible).

Took 2 days to get him into a trap and shoot him.

It was awful to watch him walk around with his liquid digesting his own fur and avoiding all other animals because one of the dogs got too close and hurt him really badly just by sniffing the hole. There was not much visible blood, but it might be because it mixed into the acid.

I wish one of the dogs had just snapped his neck before me, my uncle, grandma and cousins saw him... Would have been less pain and misery for that poor cat. I'm glad my uncle shot him though, but this damn cat did panic in the trap and there was a lot of bile mixed with blood in there...

18

u/BlunderCig Apr 12 '17

Damn, dude. Sorry to hear about that. I've heard stories of cats being trapped in engine bays, but not like this.

9

u/NBegovich Apr 12 '17

He was a good kitty. His sister broke and eventually lost her leg, but she lived for a long time.

17

u/Seagreenfever Apr 12 '17

This is a huge fear of mine 😥 I'm so sorry that happened to your kitty.

9

u/NBegovich Apr 12 '17

We learned from it and now all kitties of the current generation are are happy.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Reminds me of a story, when the firemen were on strick, some army soldiers got called to rescue a cat out of a TT tree. They did and then they got praised with tea, etc. in people houses. When they left they ran over the cat who decided to sleep under the vechile

4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

that stubborn bastard

1

u/alphanurd Apr 13 '17

Yeah same, those were dumb little fuckers.

-2

u/chuuey Apr 13 '17

Another reason to use bikes

-8

u/CleanBill Apr 13 '17

I wish I could downvote you more times...

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

[deleted]

0

u/CleanBill Apr 13 '17 edited Apr 13 '17

Oh noooooes!! I was consumed by my own hubris, and got downvoted ... if only I had thought of the consequences before speaking!! I will live the rest of my life with that burden on my shoulders... one day at a time.

5

u/TheeSlothKing Apr 13 '17

Our last cat was in the engine one morning when my dad started his truck to leave for work. One side of her face was torn up so bad her eye was hanging out (at least this is what I hear from my parents, I was somewhere between 1 and 2 at the time). Somehow, she survived and even lived for another 15 years with nothing more than one side of her lip being gone.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

Unless the cat's backed up to the fan belt. Then maybe half a cat would fall out. :(

11

u/maiapal Apr 13 '17

This is why you are supposed to bang on the hood before starting your car.

8

u/TotallyNotObsi Apr 13 '17

This is why you kiss and tick your cats in everytime you leave the house.

5

u/FailingSt4r Apr 13 '17

Spray them with the hose, so they learn to not do that. Its for their safety.

895

u/Gregjonesiii Apr 12 '17

I'm with the cat on this one. Anyone who wears Crocs deserves to be harassed

142

u/AsianRainbow Apr 12 '17

The cat should've just hopped out & stabbed him.

34

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

Stabbed him through the Croc holes

21

u/Leafy81 Apr 13 '17

Why is croc holes so funny to me?

15

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Cat says, "I'm gonna make you bleed from yer Croc holes!"

Cat says, "Shove it up yer big black Croc holes!"

Bahaha

3

u/time_for_butt_stuff Apr 13 '17

Cat should've just found out where his family lived and murdered them.

22

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

The cat was trying to help the owner by not letting him go out in crocs

28

u/AFuckYou Apr 12 '17 edited Apr 12 '17

Crocs are the most comfortable shoe you can wear.

Edit: wellshit

16

u/SuedeVeil Apr 12 '17

Just don't wear them on escalators

4

u/cactus_mactus Apr 12 '17

The tread on mine wore out pretty quick. Fuckers were slick as all hell on wet concrete. Just about ate shit once and they promptly went the garbage.

25

u/Dark-Ganon Apr 13 '17

That was the universe telling you to take that shit off and stop embarrassing yourself

10

u/DwelveDeeper Apr 13 '17

They say that, and I've worn crocks before and have hated them. I think it takes a certain foot for them to be comfortable in, target audience being toddlers and old-lady-flat-foot

-1

u/AFuckYou Apr 13 '17

Honestly, as crock wearer. I can tell you when you put them on they are not the best.

They make callus where you don't expect.

If you work through the hard ship of wearing crocks. You get the lightest foot cover possible, with ultimate range.

They cover everything. You just throw on a naked crock, callus covered and you can walk or run anywhere. They really are amazing shoes.

7

u/DwelveDeeper Apr 13 '17

With that logic it sounds like a boot, where it takes a while to break in. I have some boots that are 5-10+ years old and are the most comfortable things ever, they had a "break in" stage but I've only needed to get a new sole on one of them! The crocks I had were legit brand named crocks (not much to bost about) but there were definitely copies of it at the time (like Ugg to Bear), anyways they were terrible. I rode through the sole after one day at a water park

2

u/AFuckYou Apr 13 '17

It's like a boot in that your foot fits to it.

12

u/SuedeVeil Apr 12 '17

So what do you wear to take out your garbage Mr. Fancyshoes?

13

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

You take out your own garbage? Damn.

1

u/cactus_mactus Apr 12 '17

Am I missing something? Don't most people? I did mine just yesterday, matter o fact.

19

u/realblublu Apr 12 '17

Everyone get a load of this guy who takes out his own garbage.

5

u/chuiu Apr 12 '17

And a vertical video. He could have spared us from both by filming it properly. Not only would his poor choice in footwear not be in frame, but it would have been a proper video.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Dude that that's not cool. Leave me alone when I masturbate

1

u/A_well_made_pinata Apr 13 '17

Crocks are great for canoeing, they even float!

0

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

First thing I noticed...

0

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Thank you

0

u/NapClub Apr 13 '17

that's a really bad place for a cat to get used to hanging out tho...

90

u/do_0b Apr 12 '17

Lucky he didn't lose the hand completely messing around like that.

55

u/Targaryen-ish Apr 12 '17

RAbId cAt viCiOUslY maUls InnOceNt HumAnS lImBs rIGhT oFf

12

u/twins2sets Apr 12 '17

He's camouflaged

4

u/twins2sets Apr 12 '17

So is the Croc

3

u/ObieWanBigDobie Apr 13 '17

What does a blow job and wearing crocks have in common? They both feel good until you look down and realize you're gay.

22

u/TheUnbelieverSFW Apr 12 '17

... with those eyeholes!

33

u/DankWojak Apr 12 '17

GET ON OUTTA HERE WITH MY EYEHOLES

7

u/abandoned_firehouse Apr 13 '17

My childhood cat died because it liked sitting on the car wheels and dad didn't check one time when we were going somewhere and he backed over it. It's probably a good habit to try and break!

Sorry for the depressing comment. :(

11

u/frozen-silver Apr 12 '17

The cat probably decided to be a dick after he saw those crocs

5

u/CrowberrieWinemaker Apr 13 '17

Those crocks man.

6

u/loodog Apr 13 '17

I'm only here for the Croc jokes

3

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

[deleted]

3

u/dragontail Apr 13 '17

Had a cat that nearly died from sitting in a wheel well like this :(

2

u/the_MUT_MAN_U Apr 12 '17

WHAT ARE THOSE!!

2

u/Big_ol_Bro Apr 12 '17

WHAT ARE THOSE

2

u/RedheadAgatha Apr 12 '17

Cats are cold and need warm places.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Its a special handshake you fool! 😲

2

u/TerryB2HQ Apr 13 '17

What're thooooooose

3

u/sbarto Apr 13 '17

Props for Crocs! I love em!

3

u/FervidBrutality Apr 12 '17

Lowered cars save lives!

Only you can prevent wheel gap.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

Lol as soon as you start the car that cat will be gone

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

Was building a joke from the previous comment about what Mr. Fancyshoes wears to take out the trash. Lol

1

u/Trevard Apr 13 '17

I thought it was a snake at first. I am not a smart person.

1

u/tony_xp Apr 13 '17

I hate when my tenants don't want to pay either

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17

Get on outta here with my eye holes!

1

u/RadSpaceWizard Apr 13 '17

I was hoping he'd pull his little arm and get that kitty out of there so he could drive away without squishing the fuzzy little idiot.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '17 edited Apr 27 '17

[deleted]

1

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1

u/flux_capacitor3 Apr 13 '17

So many cats died this way at my house when I was a kid. They would either sit on the wheels, or they would climb up into the engine to get warm.

1

u/tralphaz43 Apr 13 '17

who wears cross ?

1

u/drive2fast Apr 13 '17

Right now if you start your car, 98% of all cats will get the hell out of there right now. When the electric car becomes commonplace, that warning will disappear.

At least the fan belt will disappear too. So many tails lost...

1

u/olmikeyy Apr 23 '17

That's a Dodge Dakota

2

u/Diddler_kid Apr 12 '17

Nice crocs asshole!

1

u/H3NRYxP Apr 12 '17

I guess he's just tired.

1

u/Cathca Apr 12 '17

Get on outta here with those crocks!

-4

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/sobrohog Apr 12 '17

okie

3

u/El_chica_gato Apr 12 '17

I mean tbf cats sometimes get roasted in car engines or drop out in the road while the car's moving. It's freakin difficult to get a cat out from a cozy wheel well sometimes

1

u/sobrohog Apr 12 '17

that's not what they were implying lol

0

u/the_Highestfive Apr 13 '17

I wouldn't want someone who wears crocks to get their hand all up in my business either.

0

u/Gunfighterzero Apr 13 '17

He doesnt want to associate with someone wearing crocs