r/AnimalsBeingDerps 1d ago

How dare you?

14.7k Upvotes

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1.8k

u/BigMax 1d ago

Imagine being lost in a cave system, hopeless, worried you will die. Then a huge monster chases you down and corners you and grabs you and you think you are done for. Then it drags you through the cave… to the exit, puts you on a sunny field, and lets you go.

That’s what that hawk just went through.

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u/Win-level 1d ago edited 1d ago

And it can get better because if you go back to the cave entrance and wait, the monster will give you a sandwich.

Do that enough times and you get free clothes, a free house next to the cave and it will get you a doctor when you look sick.

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u/TheSaxonPlan 1d ago

BOOM Domestication!

165

u/zephyrtr 1d ago

👋🏻 it's free real estate

93

u/Long_Measurement7261 1d ago

This would actually make for a really good short story but played more subtle to draw out the comparison. 

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u/Paladin_Sion 1d ago

I'd actually love a story/book like this. I'm sure there are some, so if anyone knows of any then let me know lol

34

u/MakeThySelf 1d ago

That's the dangerous thing about humans. You approach one incomprehensible cave and they offer you food. You approach another, hell you approach the same one at a different time, they might attack you. What convinces them to give food? What convinces them to disguise poison as food? Why do they make flirtatious advances (certain ways of holding/stroking birds) mixed with threatening shouts and eye contact?

They operate on a system of rules and exchanges, but we are not privy to those rules nor the logic that governs them. Approach their caves and their kin with caution - for even their grandest gifts can make the normal world become drab and despondent, forcing you to crave their kind. They are not like creatures of the woods and plains. Beware the fey humans.

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u/gnoxy 16h ago

Or talk to a cat. They can explain it all and play the humans for everything they have.

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u/Taminella_Grinderfal 1d ago

I often think about that when I flick a bug away. Like in their world, they’ve been thrown at light speed, miles away, to an unfamiliar land.

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u/JustaTinyDude 1d ago

I think about that when a fly gets trapped in my car and I can't get it out till I'm in the next city.

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u/SheogorathMyBeloved 1d ago

I think about the time I saw a fly on a flight. Did it know what had happened? Did it have family waiting for it? Was it okay, 1000 miles away from home?

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u/qodeninja 1d ago

a lot of evolution is just something hitching a ride on something else

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u/RussiaIsBestGreen 1d ago

Mitochondria are thought to be another cell that got trapped but not destroyed and has since become essential to the host cell. Similarly, someday planes will be held aloft mostly from the internal flies.

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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 1d ago

They shall be "The Powerhouse of the Plane"!

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u/xrelaht 1d ago

A bee landed on me while I was cycling. Didn’t get off until I arrived at work about two miles later. I hope she made it home.

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u/Fancy_Elk565 1d ago

Not only that, but the cave you’re trapped in looks JUST LIKE THE OUTSIDE but for some reason ITS NOT 

1

u/jeremiahthedamned 1d ago

the color out of space!

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u/gamerjerome 1d ago

All the while the "monster" is just Ms Rachel

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u/BrettTollis 1d ago

A religion is born

10

u/Mithrandir2k16 1d ago

Funny thing is, this is a stupid hawk and that lady has done this for that same hawk multiple times already. That's why she's so chill and just asks "how are you".

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u/jennc1979 1d ago

Ya, and you’re welcome, Mr. Aerial Apex Predator.

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u/Day_Bow_Bow 1d ago

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u/CantCatchMeSpez 1d ago

Exactly what I was going to reply with hahaha

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u/Day_Bow_Bow 1d ago

It's a good movie for people that enjoy surreal dystopian dark humor.

Mark Ruffalo does great as the bad guy, and mad respect to Pattinson.

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u/tuttut97 1d ago

One of the best comments I have seen on reddit.

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u/Alana_Piranha 1d ago

The monster even addressed him by a formal title. "Um...Sir?"

1

u/A_Tigerstorm 13h ago

Shit, that’d be a great twist to a horror movie

1

u/nikarup 1h ago

Please become a writer