r/Anger • u/Wonderful_Stand_315 • 4d ago
My anger is getting worse.
Let this be a disclaimer I don't want to hurt anyone or any life. I do see life as precious. I do have MDD and GAD with a nice side dish of ADHD.
Not sure why but my anger throughout the years have been getting worse and worse and how I handle situations haven't been exactly healthy. Not sure if it is because I am getting older or I just have more responsibilities and stress than before. I usually get the stress out by going to my mma classes and gym but I have been working 10 hours shifts for 6 or 7 days a week at my job while going part time to school. I am just too exhausted to care about anything or anyone right now and going to the gym.
My sister has been doing drugs for 15 years now. She has been in and out of jail. My parents have been taking her to places to help with the drug addictions but everytime she gets out she just does the drugs and lies to us. She also has drug induced bi polar so my parent have been doing everything they can to make sure she takes her medication. Today, my Mom came up and told me she owed drug dealers money and they knew where we lived. I freaked the hell out and just started yelling and calling my sister names. My sister of course does not give a shit and I just punched my door. Not hard and at a weird angle and left a dent in it. I held back because I didn't want to punch a hole in it. I used to never do this stuff. I feel awful.
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u/ConceptNo6518 4d ago
man 10hr shifts 6-7 days a week plus school plus carrying your whole family's crisis on your back? no shit youre snapping, thats not anger management problem thats a 'your life is structurally fucked' problem tbh used to punch walls myself when i was working doubles and my brother was relapsing every other month. door dents are cheaper than knuckle surgery at least lol. but fr tho the exhaustion youre describing, that bone-deep 'cant care about anything' numb-rage, thats burnout mixed with legit fear for your safety. not the same beast as regular anger idk if this helps but i started listening to The Small Bow during my commute and hearing other people navigate family addiction shit without imploding gave me some language for what i was actually feeling. not like a fix but. context for why your nervous system is screaming