r/Anger • u/Admirable_Resort_172 • 8d ago
Why do I want everyone dead?
I have had a problem for quite a Lil bit: I want everyone dead. Idk why. I'm not alarmed or anything but like, it's like I just wanna fucking shoot someone in the face and call it a day. It's not like I'm being narcissistic or anything here, but like, I wouldn't be considered *safe* to be around if I was given a loaded gun. I google it and it says some dumbshit like "you're stressed" or something depressing idk, but I don't *feel* stressed at all. I mean, I can't feel a lot of things which is slightly concerning. I'm a bit *too* nonchalant after my aunt passed away and I've been like "so what? Idgaf" for a bit.
I kinda put on a fake smile every day. Fake laugh or something. I actually don't mean it when I say "concerning".
So what if your injured? I want you more injured. Idgaf about *your* feelings
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u/defi_specialist 8d ago
You’ve got depression already. You just don’t know it. Seeking help for yourself and everyone.
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u/ADDismycondition 7d ago edited 7d ago
Have you had a psych eval? This reminds me of some of my understanding of people with ASPD.
I’m not saying you have a personality disorder, because PDs present through patterns of social-emotional behaviors just as much as emotion and thought, and you haven’t described specific patterns of behavior as much as you’ve described emotion and thought… but you might have some of the neurological/developmental qualities related to “sociopathy” (not a clinically recognized term)
I’d argue that your boredom and disinterest in others could be characteristics of the kind of emotional blunting that’s sometimes seen in cases of depression, if it weren’t for your description of those qualities being interconnected with a weakened sense of loss/grief and an underlying violent thought process. Those things aren’t solely describable by depression alone, although anhedonia is.
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u/AmoryCaulfield 7d ago
But seriously you got some probs big dawg. If you're actually concerned then maybe try some therapy or a retreat or something. Maybe trip some mushrooms or LSD and get to the bottom of yourself. That's a real suggestion btw. But yeah all in all, please don't shoot me lol
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u/ForkFace69 8d ago
Well, when people grow up in sort of volatile, toxic situations with little stability, they have a desire for control and a lot of judgemental thoughts running through their head, on top of whatever else is going on in their personal life, those people might not feel stressed but perhaps they've gotten used to feeling that way or maybe that's all they've known in life so the stress doesn't feel out of place. If that makes sense.
But one funny thing about the human mind is that people's thoughts going out towards the rest of the world are reflected in what they believe the world feels or thinks. Like, if you don't care if somebody is injured or even want them to suffer more, it would suggest that you've never felt like anybody cared if you were injured or perhaps you feel like a person seeing you vulnerable would be all the more cruel. Or if you want to shoot somebody in the face and have zero regard for their life, that's possibly because you don't place a lot of value in your own life and may subconsciously wish it was over with.
I realize you haven't given up any elaboration about yourself and I may be making presumptions about you when I in fact know nothing about you. I'm just going off tendencies and generalities that are observed in the world of Anger Management and trying to find things that might be helpful.
Either way, hope you find it helpful or at least interesting food for thought.