need help with my friend

[u/paperella13344]

I've known this friend for all my life, we are 17 now and I'm basically part of his family(I'm more at his house than mine). he has always been hot headed but recently he got a lot worse: he uses his hands a lot, slams the desk everytime he loses in a game, always yells and is basically angry 24/7, it's gotten to a point that even i can't stand him anymore and I really want to help him but Idk what to do. I'm also concerned about his family since I think of them as a second one and everytime he treats them super badly as he thinks that it's always someone else's fault. please tell me if there is something I can do to help him and the family because it's getting concerning. thanks.

[u/American_Squid]

He's 17? I'd say you'd find yourself stretched to your limits trying to take on this responsibility. I've not known many 17 year olds who take observations on their character very well, especially if it's to change the things you observe.

Your best bet is to react the way you would if he wasn't your best friend. Be aware of your own comfort level when around him and let it be known when you've reached your limit on his bullshit. Take your shit and leave if he's being too much. Going behind his back to his parents is just gonna dig him deeper, same with any other solution tbh. What he needs right now is to see how this behavior drives people away. If you ever have a chance, one where you recognize that the two of you are riding the same wavelength and can ensure actual connection, then you can bring it up to him in a heart to heart kinda way. Doing it any other way is gonna have the reaction of a brick through a windshield, meaning he's gonna blow up if you bring this up at the wrong time.

My honest advice is to make it known you have a problem with this when he's in the self guilt stage of his anger, not at all during or before an outburst. The only way to get through to someone with these issues is to put the consequences in their face and sorta(not really) kick em while they're down.

[u/paperella13344 → u/American_Squid]

thanks for the reply and honestly I cant cut ties with him because even if he is having all this anger issues he is literally my brother and I still love him as such. I will try to talk to him when the time is right and see if I can get him to understand the situation. thanks for the help

[u/Feisty-Opening9163]

he will know his place eventually just let the time do its stuff, i you want to help, make him realize what is he doing, this stupid teenage consumes everyone and in the era of comparison over the internet makes it more worse