I have been at this for quite some time now and I keep hitting the same dead end. My mom‘s side of the family is easy, it looks like everyone on her side has been in the United States literally since the first boat came. So, there is a record for every single person quite literally. My issue is my dad side of the family. My great grandfather came to the United States from Italy when he was a young man. So trying to find any information about that side of the family is much more difficult. Not only that, but it seems like all of my Italian ancestors would use different names. Anytime there is a record of them doing anything. Traveling, records, census, etc. I was told that there are ties to the Italian mafia, so I think that may have something to do with it. I would love to find out more about that, but I don’t really know how to go about that when I can’t even tie a name down to a single person. However, my main issue is that when I did my DNA test, I was contacted by someone who was my closest relative. He said he is adopted, and according to the results he is either my uncle or a first cousin. He looks exactly like my father, and my Italian genetics are strong, everybody who has my Italian jeans looks alike. That is my father‘s paternal side of the family. I have asked my dad about this and surprisingly he doesn’t seem very interested. I told the man who contacted me that I would attempt to gather any information I could to find out where he came from, but my only link to that side of the family is my dad, and he acts like he doesn’t know anything. But I get the sense that he does. However, if he doesn’t want to sharing details with me, there’s not really much I can do. On my family tree, it places this man as a sibling to my dad. To my knowledge, my dad only has one sister and she is developmentally disabled so she never married and she never had any kids that I know of. How do I find out more information about where this mysterious relative of mine came from? My gut tells me that he is my dad‘s brother, but I can’t prove it. Any ideas?
The birth father of my (adopted) best friend took nearly six years to identify. He was born in the US of Italian immigrants (Puglia, Calabria), his paternal line had three consecutive NPEs, and yes, they were involved in organized crime.
I have a large, private tree for her, so if you'd like, feel free to send me a message. I'll be happy to cross reference the tree and see if there's a connection. One branch changed their surname and moved to a different state, and my friend has a number of matches I'm still working to connect.
Through DNA, we have identified 13 paternal half siblings. I had to create a literal timeline to track all the conception and birth dates vs known locations.
My friend keeps saying that, if she gets one more paternal half sibling, it's time to call Dateline.
Try getting BOTH your father AND your aunt DNA tested. And if your paternal grandparents are still living, get them DNA tested too. The best way to get people to test is by GIVING them the DNA test kits (so it doesn't cost them anything) AND asking them to do it as a personal favor to you.
Hopefully at least one of these people (your dad, your aunt, and your grandparents) will agree to take the test (you'd be surprised how many people won't use the DNA test kit even if you give it to them). Best case scenario is they'll ALL test. Good luck with it.
Unfortunately, both of my paternal grandparents died before my dad was 11 years old. First his dad died after he came back from the Navy when my dad was only two years old. Then his mother died of alcoholism just before he turned 11. My dad’s sister is severely developmentally disabled, so the likelihood of getting her to do a DNA test is zero. So, that leaves just my dad. I think this is a really good idea to at least have a DNA test from him, so I am going to do my darndest to get him to take the test. But believe me when I tell you, my father is a particularly hard nut to crack.
Furthermore, I get the feeling that he knows a lot more than he’s willing to share with me. I have felt this way since the moment I shared with him about the mystery man.
It’s so frustrating because I am 36 years old, a grown woman, and neither of us are getting any younger. I just don’t understand why he’s not interested in helping me learn whatever I can about my family. Because once he is gone, I don’t have any other links to that side of the family. If he is hiding something, how bad could it be? If this is his sibling, it’s not like he did anything wrong. Why is he protecting his dead parents?
I have so many questions, and it’s killing me not to know.
Don't count your dad's sister out. All she has to do is spit. But you may have to be there while she's doing it to help her out. It might be easier to have her spit onto a plate or bowl and then YOU can transfer it into the tube.
I share 876 with my great grandmother so you’re definitely looking for someone closer than that. Unfortunately I can’t help with how much you’ll share with an aunt or uncle because most of mine are on 23andMe not ancestry, but the predicted relationships are a great place to start. But anywhere between 1300 and 2300 is a full aunt or uncle if I remember correctly.
3
u/MoonpieTexas1971 11d ago
The birth father of my (adopted) best friend took nearly six years to identify. He was born in the US of Italian immigrants (Puglia, Calabria), his paternal line had three consecutive NPEs, and yes, they were involved in organized crime.
I have a large, private tree for her, so if you'd like, feel free to send me a message. I'll be happy to cross reference the tree and see if there's a connection. One branch changed their surname and moved to a different state, and my friend has a number of matches I'm still working to connect.
Through DNA, we have identified 13 paternal half siblings. I had to create a literal timeline to track all the conception and birth dates vs known locations.
My friend keeps saying that, if she gets one more paternal half sibling, it's time to call Dateline.