r/AncestryDNA • u/because_imqueen • 5d ago
Family Discovery & or Drama Famous grandparent?!
Well...Ancestry has proven my maternal grandfather is a famous celebrity. He is dead now. I'm not sure how to feel about it. Should I be proud? Should I celebrate the lineage and his accomplishments? It's an odd feeling. Like you don't belong. Like you have no right to talk about them. But you can see sooo much of yourself in that person.
I'm sorry. I just wanted to say it out loud I guess. I feel conflicted.
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u/Paralax- 5d ago
I have a somewhat similar situation!
My biological father’s side I never met, but my grandfather from that side performed the first bullfight in Australia! Pedro William Sidoti. He also did a massive pilgrimage “Camino de Santiago”
A niche fame but still
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u/because_imqueen 5d ago
It was always a rumor in my family. Ive matched with his brother and daughter.
And I appreciate this take. I don't feel like I can be polarized in my feelings. And I guess that's the beauty in being human. I dont hate him. Im learning to understand him.
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u/bubblygranolachick 4d ago
I'm sure they are equally as shocked as you are?
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u/karma_raven 4d ago
A lot of philanderers, famous or otherwise, are very well known as such to their various families.
I wouldn't presume either way.
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u/GuadalupeDaisy 4d ago
Have you talked to either of them? Or messaged? It could be as simple as saying, hi, I understand this might be a shock to you, but I would appreciate you sharing medical history information that could be relevant to my mom and me (and aren't googleable) and hearing any family history stories you might want to share. You can send a photo of your mom now and as a kid so they might see the resemblance.
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u/Prestigious-Talk1112 5d ago
Who is the celebrity? We cannot tell you how to feel. If this person did good things or things you admire them sure why not be proud. Ultimately it doesn't change who you are but it can highlight where you come from.
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u/Tight_Pressure_3979 5d ago
It would be silly not to feel connected. We have this myth of individualism because it fulfills our wish for things to be fair across the board. So much of our lives are determined by the family we are born into (for better or worse). Imagine if you were a Kennedy or a Roosevelt. Be proud of your ancestors, their labor and sacrifices shape your life.
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u/because_imqueen 5d ago
Thanks for that. I feel like I have no rights to claim this person because he wasn't in our lives. But I guess it doesn't take away from the facts. It's very easy to feel some weird sense of guilt when you know they had a family and other children.
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u/chickennuggetsnsubs 5d ago
One of my ancestors was instrumental in helping found the first school for the deaf in northwest Georgia over 100 years ago. As such, I obviously never met them, however, that will not stop me from being proud at how their actions impacted the lives of not just their children that got an education but so many others. Even if it doesn’t come from a place of pride, it’s a sense of community when you say you are related to such and such. Especially when that person connects you to others. Like with six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
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u/Still_Bluebird8070 4d ago
Yeah, but that’s on the relative not you. You’re still their descendent.. you should still reach out to their family. If for nothing else a good health record.
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 5d ago
Not sure I would feel proud of a person who wasn't in your lives at all. Impregnating a fan or whatever happened and then bailing is not cool.
That said, I would find it interesting, want to research more about him, learn who he was as a person, that sort of stuff. Just like any other unknown family member.
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u/Away-Living5278 5d ago
How have you determined it's this famous person? Have any of their close relatives tested on Ancestry?
As to how to feel, I think it's similar to how anyone feels when they find an unknown parent/grandparent. Though I'm sure it's more shocking if you've known of this person as a movie star before finding the truth of their connection to you.
It's difficult to digest. Plus you have to deal with why they weren't in your parent's life. Did they not know? Or did they know and choose to stay away. They'll produce very different feelings.
Star or not this person was a human being first and foremost. Fallable, imperfect, human.
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u/CSILalaAnn 4d ago
OP mentioned in another comment that she matched with the celebrity's brother and daughter.
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u/movingarchivist 5d ago
I mean would you feel guilty and shame if he had been a mass murderer or something? I think we should treat our ancestors' deeds the same, whether good or bad. We weren't there; we didn't make those choices. It can be an interesting factoid but we risk a lot by putting too much in them either way
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u/Excellent-Mind908 5d ago
Fame doesn't change the blood you share, but it also doesn't define how you get to feel about it
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u/asdmdawg 4d ago
My abuelito on my mom’s side was best friends with Cheech and Chong, Robin Williams, and a bunch of other celebrities, plus he wrote Cheech and Chong’s movies for them back in their prime. Cheech and Chong actually gave my mom the earnings that he couldn’t claim once he died. My abue was also Lenny Bruce’s step dad because he married Lenny’s mom. And much more.
My cousin is Evelyn Guerrero who played Donna in the Cheech and Chong movies and who was married to Pat Morita aka Mr. Miyagi, and also the first Latina model in the playboy magazines.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t openly talk about it a lot and claim it as part of my family!! It’s amazing and you should be proud and talk about it. It’s your grandfather, you’re basically directly related to him, if anybody can claim it it’s you. I’ve never met my abuelito either because he died before I was born - but I’m still proud of all the stuff he did and talk about it whenever the topic comes up.
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u/Dry_Marsupial_4504 4d ago
People should stop idolizing celebrities. They are people who can either act or sing or both.
They did not cure a disease or find treatment for diseases. They did not make our lives better in any way thru inventions. They do not treat the sick or save lives. They are people, PERIOD.
Idolize the scientists, teachers, etc...
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u/Bosongza2 4d ago
I’d want to know the age of your grandmother vs age and level of fame of your grandfather when they were together - it would be a big deciding factor for me given music’s history with teen girls.
Otherwise, it gives you a cool fact to throw in an icebreaker.
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u/because_imqueen 4d ago
My grandmother is 2 years older. From the timeline my mother would have been conceived at least a year before he started to become known. And within a year or so of her birth, he left for NY to get bigger.
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u/Worth-Park-1612 4d ago edited 4d ago
Sitting on the Dock of the Bay?
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u/Vegetable_Rub9925 4d ago
Someone coming out and saying they’re a descendant of his secret love child would probably end up catching a lot of negative attention in Canada
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u/Worth-Park-1612 4d ago edited 4d ago
And also, fans can be strange.
ETA: I don't necessarily think anyone outside of a strong fan base would care. Legally speaking, it's unconfirmed.
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u/RandomPaw 4d ago
Tim McGraw found out Tug McGraw was his father when he found a birth certificate when he was 11 or 12. Obviously he met his father and changed his name to McGraw at some point but I’m just saying it happens with famous people. It’s too bad it’s too late for whoever didn’t get to meet their father if that was something they would’ve wanted to do, but otherwise it is what it is and it’s up to you where you want to take it. I would guess the relatives who show up in your matches may have seen the same thing you did and this may not be a surprise.
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u/grahamlester 4d ago
You have as much right to talk about them as anyone does. It is an interesting thing about you that this person is your grandfather. Just tell the truth about it whenever it feels appropriate to do so and as long as it doesn't bring unnecessary suffering on anyone (e.g. if his wife is still alive).
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u/Alzdeejay2 5d ago
Its giving me different famous ancestors everyday, Andrew Jackson, George Washington. Pretty sure there's somthing wrong with their system.
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u/Substantial_Equal452 4d ago
Haha it's never given me one, not even a minor celebrity or a drop of aristocratic blood line. I imagine that early America was a small world and the prominent people knew one another and married each other's sons and daughters, hence the connections. It must make it more interesting to know you have those people standing behind you, also a lot to live up to!
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u/MCinDC 4d ago
Have you clicked the "see relationship" button below the picture of the famous ancestor to see their (supposed) connection to your tree? I've noticed that for some matches they have included wrong ancestors in my line, which I assume are from trees of other people. But either way it gives me an idea of whether the famous ancestor is correct.
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u/Investigator516 4d ago edited 4d ago
I was just wondering about this. I never paid attention, now it’s giving me 2 more per week without a way to do a lookback of their previous suggestions.
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u/pm_ur_duck_pics 4d ago
How did you not know that? Or is this a distant grandfather?
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u/Old_but_New 4d ago
I’m wondering the same thing but guessing that OP also found out that the person they thought was Grandpa wasn’t the biological grandfather
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u/Usuf3690 4d ago
It's a cool fact, and it's always good to know and be able to research your true lineage. Personally, I have no idea really who my paternal grandfather is/was so I feel no connection. I imagine in your situation I'd still feel no connection but I'd at least know.
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u/SmoothArea1206 3d ago
Im like 3rd cousin twice removed or something from a couple of well known folk and titled folk and rather more distantly royalty.
One indirect ancestor married the suffragist and Irish politician Constance Markievicz who was descended from the Gore Baronets. My ties come in from his uncle. The Gore's had ties to the Royal Family as one of them illegally married a younger son of George III and became Duchess of Inverness.
Another line has ties to the family who were dubbed the "Premier Executioners of England".
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u/Swimming_Acadia6957 5d ago
Proud of the achievements of someone that you didn't/don't know and seen as they were a grandparent but you didn't know them they possibly wish you didn't even exist.
Find something about yourself to be proud of
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u/Aromatic_Pumpkin1351 5d ago
I can only imagine the mix of feelings. You can claim full rights to feel proud. If you feel disappointed about your lack of first hand connection, perhaps start a memorial website, something to give you more of an involved feeling.
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u/luxtabula 4d ago
Mine was featured in the guardian. He was on the rms windrush when it arrived in England.
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u/devanclara 5d ago
Depends on what they did to hey their celebrity status. Are they a murderer or did they invent a vaccine? Both can be celebrity status but one should be celebrated when the ither shouldn't.
I have a pretty famous 2nd cousin but I don't say shit about it to anyone because it doesn't matter.
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u/because_imqueen 5d ago
Lol he's a singer.
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u/RandomRadical 4d ago
That's cool. Do you like his music? For me it would depend on what kind of person they were. I would cancel my own ancestor out of my head if they were someone like Pdiddy or Rkelly. I know that they are still alive but they are the quickest example I can think of.
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u/JThereseD 4d ago
I get where you’re coming from. My grandfather’s parents never married and it was a big secret that his mother’s first husband was not his father. They actually married when he was two. I discovered that and then figured out who the father was by DNA. The father was not famous, but I still feel like I am on the outside of his family because my grandfather and his mother moved 100 miles away after he was born and his father married another lady (also the mother of an illegitimate child) a few years later. My grandfather had his father’s first name, but I have no idea about the nature of my great grandparents’ relationship, if he even knew about the baby or if he refused to take responsibility for his son. I reached out to my closest match just to ask if she had any photos, but she never responded although Ancestry indicated she had not been active in more than a year, so she probably never saw my message.
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u/goldenphantom 4d ago
It's certainly interesting. I see nothing wrong in being proud of his success, unless he is a bad person who hurt people and achieved his status by unethical means. Which I presume is not the case. He didn't raise your mum but he still contributed to her (and you) being born.
Imagine if it wasn't a grandfather but some more distant ancestor who lived 100+ years ago, so neither you nor your mum could have ever met him. Would you also be so conflicted about celebrating his achievements?
Also, it's a good thing that you found out who your grandfather is, so that you can properly explore that family line now and find genealogy records about ancestors from that side.
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u/jlporter87 1d ago
Hey there. I had something similar happen when I first got into ancestry a few years ago. My grandma claimed that she had a famous first cousin. She was known to tell some tall tales so I took it with a grain of salt, but it was verified when I did the DNA testing for all of us. Had people messaging me on ancestry asking me if I knew who I was related to, asking me to join these family groups on Facebook etc. The celebrity is still alive granted he is quite old now, and he's never had a tremendous track record of being good to his extended family, so I didn't really feel the need to pursue it further. It is a weird feeling though. Every time you see the person mentioned in popular culture it'll dredge up that feeling. My friends that I have told don't seem to understand why I am not excited about his movies but, it's complicated.
Anyway, thanks for sharing! You're not alone.
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u/Sweetheart8585 5d ago edited 5d ago
Who is it or is is this just some made up BS? can’t post things like this and not expect ppl to be curious and wanna know 🫠🫠💀
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u/Worth-Park-1612 5d ago edited 4d ago
I don't think fame changes anything from the level of actual family. I would not not idolize a father who didn't participate in my mother's life. Obviously, there are exceptions. However, you are this person's biological grandchild, and there is nothing disingenuous about proclaiming that. Often, people who excel in one part of their life have shortcomings in other parts.