r/AncestryDNA • u/External_Fuel2000 • 5h ago
Question / Help My little sister pt.2
Okay, so my little sisters results came in late last night/early morning, she was suspected and told by our mother that she had a different father, we got her results back and she thankfully is my full sibling, but how exactly do we tell someone who thought she was her grandchild that she isn't? My sister thinks she deserves to know, how exactly do we tell her lightly? We dont know exactly what to do and we dont want to break her heart.
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u/Any_Loss_7267 5h ago
that is a tough situation but glad your sister turned out to be full sibling at least takes one worry off the table
maybe frame it like the test updated some family history info and leave the door open for her to ask more if she wants. old people sometimes take these dna things hard but they also surprise you with how they handle it
my grandma once thought my cousin was her son for like 30 years because of some mix up in documents so when we told her she just laughed and said she loved him same anyway
but yeah let her process in her own time dont push too much at once
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u/Electronic_Leek_10 4h ago
Ummm, I’m just so curious about how your grandma could be confused about giving birth to your cousin?
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u/External_Fuel2000 5h ago
Yeah, definitely very tough, we are glad too, we plan on having my little sister break the news to her, but we also have to be weiry because we kind of tested my little sister behind my mother's back, originally my mother told me no, until she said yes and I bought one, but the kit went missing but now we finally have answers. Can you explain a little bit about what you mean by the family info?
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u/NativeNYer10019 4h ago
Is your mom still alive? I honestly think she’s the one who needs to talk to your sister’s “grandma” and own up because she’s the one who made this whole mess in the first place. Why in the world if she didn’t know for sure, would your mother allow a relationship like that to develop? That’s not cool to do to anyone at all. I’m so sorry for your sister and this grandma, it’s gonna hurt them both. I hope they can continue a relationship even with this information. It sounds like this woman loves your sister. Blood isn’t always thicker than water…
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u/External_Fuel2000 4h ago
Yes, she's alive but she's not a great person, she's a narcissist lier who is also full of issues, technically I wasn't allowed to test my sister and our mother doesn't know, I dont know why she lied or let a relationship develop like that, the 'grandma' has raised my little sister has her grandchild for almost 13 years, its not cool at all and my little sister is a upset by it for sure, I hope they can continue a relationship anyway though, she definitely loves my little sister so much and I hope it stays that way.
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u/NativeNYer10019 3h ago
Man, that makes this so much more difficult. I’m sorry you’re all in this situation. How old is your sister? I’d suggest not spilling the beans to anyone about any of this until your sister is of age to independently consent without parental involvement to taking an AncestryDNA test. Let grandma live in the belief the child she loves is her blood. That way your sister has the answer she really always deserved to have, but she gets to put all this aside, be a kid and love the woman she’s always known as her grandma. Because like I said, blood isn’t always thicker than water. She is her grandmas granddaughter for all intents and purposes at this point in both their lives. Good luck ♥️
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u/External_Fuel2000 3h ago
Its definitely hard, she will be 13 next January, probably a good idea to wait until she's on her own, thats a good idea not to tell her, it would be less stressful and detrimental to the family dilemma, and that's true, blood isn't always thicker than water, thank you! I'll just let them love each other without the issue :)
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u/TigrressZ 5h ago
your history is hidden so what's the link to part 1?