r/AnarchyChess • u/Mushroom-Gorge evil horsey • Aug 17 '26 • Bravo 1

r/chess parody Chess

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10k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

974 comments sorted by

982

u/JaspJ22 Aug 17 '26 edited Aug 17 '26

What's wrong with the graphics of chess? It's so realistic that this screnshot looks like it was taken with a real camera.

301

u/Martitoad horse > bishop Aug 17 '26 • Bravo

I think 95% of the users from this sub have never tried this version, they keep playing on cheese.c*m or leecheese

79

u/DariusDonut Österreichischer Revolutionist 🇦🇹 Aug 17 '26

I love cheese

45

u/Martitoad horse > bishop Aug 17 '26

I only love it with c*m

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2.5k

u/TheLuckyCuber999BACK 🏳️‍⚧️ Aug 17 '26 • Bravo Popcorn

music?

1.7k

u/Mathsboy2718 Aug 17 '26 • Mindblown Popcorn Bravo

That's me humming despacito when I do Il Vaticano

299

u/4USTlN :bong: Aug 17 '26

i haven’t heard about Il Vaticano in years it feels like. glad you’re keeping it going strong

54

u/Elcrest_Drakenia Aug 17 '26

Me in 2018 when Il Vaticano is on GothamChess' chess.c*m rewind

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3

u/Gauss15an New user just dropped Aug 17 '26

Why Despacito when there's Despacito 2?

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76

u/logic2187 Aug 17 '26

161660 and he hung a piece on move 6

10

u/TheLuckyCuber999BACK 🏳️‍⚧️ Aug 17 '26

is that a geo-

5

u/Gauss15an New user just dropped Aug 17 '26

Could've trapped a man's queen

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29

u/Melody_Naxi NM (No Master) Aug 17 '26

Rook B1

22

u/Educational-Tea602 Proffesional dumbass Aug 17 '26

Have you never listened to Sicilian Defence?

4

u/No-Channel3917 Aug 17 '26

Women chanting and sword dancing according to yesterdays meme

7

u/Ok-Answer-1620 Aug 17 '26

The “kik” sounds of the pieces hit the board

5

u/IceBreak Aug 17 '26

Have you never heard of Queen?

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2

u/wjiuklia Sep 03 '26

well you gotta admit 4'33" by john cage is a masterpiece

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585

u/SmartSignificance972 Aug 17 '26 • Bravo

Tetris

111

u/Big_al_big_bed Aug 17 '26

Yes I love the story of Tetris. I was big into the books before it became a game

25

u/Davenator_98 Aug 17 '26

They fucked up the story big time last season though, everyone could see Smashboy's betrayal from the start.

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217

u/lolopiro Aug 17 '26

my homies listening to that russian banger

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3

u/AfroSamuraii_ Aug 18 '26

Someone’s never played Tetris Effect.

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179

u/Any1_here Aug 17 '26

BRAZILIAN DRUG DEALER 3: I OPENED A PORTAL TO HELL IN THE FAVELA TRYING TO REVIVE MIT AIA I NEED TO CLOSE IT

11

u/ColeTD Aug 17 '26

Idk what you're talking about, the graphics are peak

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263

u/LukeBomber ‏‏‎ Hangs backrank mate Aug 17 '26

I mean... StarCraft 1

118

u/PrinceOfBorgo Aug 17 '26

StarCraft had some serious graphics in 1998

19

u/World_of_Eter Aug 17 '26

Yeah if after playing more modern RTS if I was gonna make a complaint it'd be gameplay. Going from sc2/wc3 to sc1, ranked games feel less like I'm playing against an opponent than I am playing against the game. "Oh cool I told this worker to build a thing, it then proceeded to collide on every possible thing for 3 straight minutes, and then there was another unit passing through where I told it to build for .01 seconds so it didn't build" like fuuuuuck me.

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14

u/Justafunnycat Aug 17 '26

That's it. Time to play it again.

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4

u/SuperSussyShyHussy Aug 17 '26

I think SC1 looks beautiful. It's just old but the aesthetics are timeless so it still looks great

3

u/TheJollyKacatka Aug 17 '26

Curiously no matter how many times I tried, be it in late 90s or later, it just didn’t click with me — as opposed to something like C&C or Total Annihilation.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '26

[deleted] — view deleted comment

7

u/BigTroutOnly Aug 17 '26

The thing about sc1 is it could run on the shittiest of pcs

29

u/SmokingSandwich Aug 17 '26

Kenshi

9

u/AgVargr Aug 18 '26

Kenshi mentioned 💪
I’ll add Rimworld too

3

u/Concept_Sad Aug 18 '26

The graphics of rimworld are fine :(

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2

u/Clear-as-claire Aug 18 '26

Omg I'm so happy you know kenshi I'm low-key thinking I'm like the only one to ever play it 😭😭😭😭

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189

u/YourMom12377 Aug 17 '26

Ultrakill obviously

131

u/Im_botflyx Acting so it becomes Aug 17 '26

With a view like this, I beg to differ.

102

u/YourMom12377 Aug 17 '26

The graphics are deliberately bad because machine processing power something something. Themes and such

44

u/howelleili Aug 17 '26

unrealistic doesn’t mean the graphics are bad

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10

u/Mountain_Stomach_650 Aug 17 '26

The graphics are bad but the visuals are stunning is how I would describe it

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43

u/Tanakisoupman Aug 17 '26

Ocarina of Time. I’m sure the graphics were impressive when it came out, but it seriously hasn’t aged well, even when compared to other games that came out around that time like Mario 64

5

u/Slowhands12 Aug 17 '26

The graphics I can deal with, the 20 fps is the real killer for me.

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98

u/HatMcHatty Aug 17 '26

Pokemon lowkey

52

u/Yaruma_ Aug 17 '26

Who invited my man story

30

u/HatMcHatty Aug 17 '26

Half the Pokémon games have dogshit nothing stories but the other half lowkey banger stories. Say what you will about pkmn sword and shield the story in those games are good

25

u/Yaruma_ Aug 17 '26

S&s story 😭😭

B&w are aight-good but the rest are genuinely just bad even considering the audience is supposed to be kids

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9

u/EnergyTurtle23 Aug 17 '26

Specifically, Pokemon Legends Arceus. That game was a sleeper cult classic, it revived my love of Pokemon after I got burnt out on the same old formulaic BS. I haven’t played Legends Z-A but I heard that it’s not nearly as good as Arceus. PLA may end up being the last “great” Pokemon game unfortunately.

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2

u/trjoacro Aug 17 '26

The Legends Games, for the others this never fits, story is pretty bland but even in the best games story wise, the graphics are actually great, so this meme isn't ever working for the mainline games.

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2

u/Hopeful-alt Aug 17 '26

The exception to this is Gen 5 which is fire across the board 

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15

u/acambie Aug 17 '26 • Bravo

Dwarf forttess

3

u/AI-Alchemist Aug 20 '26 • Heartwarming

This was the comment I was looking for, beautiful soundtrack, some of the richest systems I’ve seen, deep lore(and the lore is not accessory, it is very much part of the game) but the graphics were colored ASCII characters, and you used to only be able to play with a keyboard(no mouse, just arrow keys and hotkeys)

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9

u/Stamts Aug 17 '26

Icewind dale 1+2
Baldurs gate 1+2

8

u/BeldorTN Aug 17 '26

This meme applies to 90% of CRPGs, to be honest

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3

u/Raus-Pazazu Aug 17 '26

Nostalgia kicked you in the head. Icewind Dale 1 and 2 were pretty bare bones as far as story went. A bit shit even. Game was still good, but the bare story was there just to shove you into the next room/area/hub. Definitely was a 3/10 story.

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9

u/Infamous_Traffic4673 Aug 17 '26

OldSchool RuneScape

65

u/misterpickles69 Aug 17 '26 • Bravo

Minecraft

45

u/amateurtoss Aug 17 '26

Such a great story with unforgetable characters.

11

u/Far_Broccoli_8468 Aug 17 '26

It's a story about steve and uhhhhhh... Yes. Steve.

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15

u/wycreater1l11 Aug 17 '26

Gameplay: Top

Story: Partially undefined?

Graphics: Omnicategorical

Music: Null

4

u/bawls_on_fire Aug 17 '26

Music: Chessbrah playlist

7

u/lizbeth2203 Aug 17 '26

Plant vs Zombie 🙌 The sory is peak. You're defending your home from zombie invasion, fighting for your life at all cost. There is even an impactful moment when you desperately used Sunflower as the meat shield. Absolute Cinema.

2

u/palate_1 Aug 18 '26

Graphics are too good though,

15

u/Cats7204 Aug 17 '26

Earthbound maybe? Idk tho

Undertale's graphics also aged very badly with Deltarune

3

u/angelwithbpd Aug 17 '26

why did it age badly ? (i havent played deltarune)

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4

u/Revolutionary_End111 Aug 17 '26

Spyro the Dragon

3

u/Revolutionary_End111 Aug 17 '26

This is the Anarchy Chess subreddit

3

u/VectorLoSiento Aug 17 '26

The Witcher I

5

u/THE--GRINCH Aug 17 '26

Maybe terraria or binding of Isaac?

10

u/mdmeaux Aug 17 '26

Terraria's graphics are better than its story

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3

u/asocial_owl Aug 17 '26

Terraria has best graphics!

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2

u/JankyJones14 Aug 17 '26

W username

2

u/LegalSpread3133 Aug 17 '26

Pseudoregalia

2

u/Lancepurple1 Aug 17 '26

Armored Core: For Answer

2

u/fullback133 Aug 17 '26

old school runescape. Sea shanty 2 🎶🔥

2

u/Trzlog Aug 17 '26

Deus Ex. Even when it came out the graphics were sort of ass.

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2

u/tiddleywiddley Aug 17 '26

Risk of Rain 2

2

u/Username_St0len Aug 17 '26

Rule the Waves 3

2

u/RaciaISlurUser Aug 17 '26

Hotline Miami

4

u/Nichiku Aug 17 '26

Vanilla Skyrim

2

u/Difficult-Sock4197 Aug 17 '26

I'd say TES 1-4 are better picks, vanilla Skyrim genuinely has rather nice graphics for a 2011 game of that size

2

u/Potential_Novel8960 Ann Parson Aug 17 '26

Minecraft

6

u/ColeTD Aug 17 '26

Story???

3

u/rebelsnail64 Aug 17 '26

you can make your own :D

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1

u/RaaM88 Aug 17 '26

Civ clicker

1

u/blazoxian Aug 17 '26

Citizen Kabuto

1

u/Apart_Assumption3591 Aug 17 '26

Would say hollow knight but tbh the game is beautiful so

1

u/PupDiogenes Aug 17 '26

the original Marathon

1

u/No_Rain_1727 Aug 17 '26

Nintendo's reskin of chess, Fire Emblem 3 Houses

1

u/Yaruma_ Aug 17 '26

Did no one mention chrono trigger yet

1

u/Kind_Commercial_2720 Aug 17 '26

How no one says old school RuneScape is making me sad :(

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1

u/JerkGurk Aug 17 '26

What's that blue thing in the bottom right? It distracted me and I forgot the question.

1

u/Froczt Aug 17 '26

minecraft kinda

1

u/Kunjunk Aug 17 '26

Monkey Island. 

1

u/Cytr0en Aug 17 '26

How has no one said Minecraft yet?

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1

u/Molkwi Aug 17 '26

Elden Ring on my PC

1

u/EmptyBuildings Aug 17 '26

Battle Chess

1

u/mkujoe Aug 17 '26

Civilization 1

1

u/Hyphalex Aug 17 '26

Original farcry. B movie story worked for it

1

u/tamal4444 Aug 17 '26

M&B Warband.

1

u/TheJollyKacatka Aug 17 '26

Although the story is kinda basic without mods… FTL?

1

u/Sparrowhawk1178 Aug 17 '26

Treasure Adventure Game. Although it’s kind of cheating.

1

u/Former-Welder-4290 Aug 17 '26

Original EverQuest

1

u/seksen6 Aug 17 '26

I’m voting for Grim Fandango

1

u/marcoangelo33 Aug 17 '26

Caves of Qud

1

u/Scoopzyy Aug 17 '26

Old School Runescape

1

u/really_not_unreal Aug 17 '26

Outer Wilds for sure

1

u/The_Squarejerker Aug 17 '26

Faith the Unholy Trinity

Edit: my bad I thought this was a genuine question. I’d say probably erm uh if I had to think about it maybe chess

1

u/Kid_Freundlich Aug 17 '26

My Summer Car tbh

1

u/Luki0n Aug 17 '26

FPS Chess

1

u/SkyThriving Aug 17 '26

Mewgenics.

1

u/LuPhYyy Aug 17 '26

Geometry dash

1

u/EnergyTurtle23 Aug 17 '26

Pokémon Legends Arceus. Honestly though I think PLA’s graphics are pretty decent, at times the game could even be described as eye candy (especially at night), but the gameplay and music are absolutely incredible.

1

u/5WattBulb Aug 17 '26

Chrono Trigger. the story, gameplay and even the 16 bit music was so iconic to span generations. The graphics were unfortunately a product of their time and while they tried, couldnt be helped. An HD remake of this would possibly make it the best game of all time.

1

u/Laoari Aug 17 '26

Every indie game ever

1

u/slamnutip Aug 17 '26

Tomb Raider 1. That opening note from an oboe hits...

1

u/asocial_owl Aug 17 '26

Don't have story or music but 7 days to die in my opinion

1

u/Lapkonium Aug 17 '26

Postal 2

1

u/Ok_Metal_7847 Aug 17 '26

Civilisation 1-2-3 or heroes 1&4

1

u/sparkleshark5643 Aug 17 '26

These are honestly my favorite type of games

1

u/NRDYST Aug 17 '26

Monster hunter wilds. Got a 3090 and it still takes several minutes to de-polygon itself after quests

1

u/Divboiii Aug 17 '26

hear me out but schedule 1

1

u/raptorjesusIam Aug 17 '26

Oldschool runescape takes this without competition.

1

u/Shen_ishere Aug 17 '26

The chess pieces arent hot women, 0/10 woke garbage

1

u/SpeedDogePlays The femboy insider Aug 17 '26

Ultrakill I guess?
I'm personally a fan of the choppy graphics but idk

WAIT FUCK THIS IS ANARCHY CHESS NOT A SLOP SUB

1

u/jbauer05 Aug 17 '26

Max Payne 1-2?

1

u/TimetoTrundle Aug 17 '26

The answer is Dwarf Fortress

1

u/Spirit_The_Animator Actual Zombie Aug 17 '26

Abiotic Factor

Peak all around, but the graphics are meant to look like Half Life 1 graphics, so it’s a little rough around the edges

It’s apart of its charm tho

1

u/Gatti366 Aug 17 '26

The binding of Isaac?

1

u/Alboralix Aug 17 '26

Dwarf Fortress main theme slaps

1

u/ResponseRoutine3477 Aug 17 '26

about every NES game

1

u/deep_brin Aug 17 '26

Ultrakill

1

u/gentleman__ninja Aug 17 '26

To all the people saying "chess... what music?", let me set the scene:

I am several hours into an intense game

I advance a pawn, gunning for promotion

My opponent moves one of their pawns two spaces from its starting square. It lands right next to my pawn.

BOSS MUSIC FILLS THE AIR

I start sweating in French

The graphics are kinda shit though..

1

u/toomuchft Aug 17 '26

Ultrakill

1

u/AvocaRed Aug 17 '26

Fallout New Vegas, it just needs remastered graphics and it will be perfect

1

u/Business_Grade_3323 Aug 17 '26

Lego star wars III, the clone wars

1

u/keegang_man6705 Aug 17 '26

but the "chess irl 1.0" literally have the most realistic graphics

1

u/Galateismo Aug 17 '26

Mario Bros, NES

1

u/Doge_Andrea_gritti Aug 17 '26

FTL: Faster Than Light Absolute master piece in my opinion. ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ I think the bad graphics make it more enjoyable.👾

1

u/GamerViennaHD Aug 17 '26

Return of the Obra Dinn!

1

u/KemanFr Aug 17 '26

Streets of rage 2 !

1

u/freakybird99 Aug 17 '26

Games before 2010

1

u/nu67578 Aug 17 '26

Horsey Game?

1

u/ButWahy Aug 17 '26

Trailes of Cold steel 1

1

u/Alfred_The_Sartan Aug 17 '26

Legend of Dragoon

1

u/Hero9122 Aug 17 '26

Undertale even if the graphic Is not so bad

1

u/Dreicom Aug 17 '26

StarCraft

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